I’m 32, DP is 42. We have been together a few years and live with my son who is 6 and has SEN (attachment disorder through adoption, likely autism and adhd diagnoses are pending). He is my world and I adore him but I do not want any more children. DP does not have children; he never wanted the responsibility of being a father. He is fantastic with my DS, and I often say their relationship is like brothers. He doesn’t do any “parenting” of my son and that’s exactly how I like it, but he does spend lots of quality time with him and spoils him a bit too.
I’m also divorced and DS does not have contact with my ex/his “dad”, who has previously physically assaulted him. So more trauma for my child.
I was very young when I met and married my exhusband and clearly it was a huge mistake. I knew as soon as I left him that I never wanted to get married again. My DP has never been married and has really never wanted to.
Which means our relationship now is pretty much where it will peak in terms of “progress” because we live together but won’t get married or have children together - and this seems really unbelievable to my entire fucking family. I love them dearly but I’m getting really bored of my dad chipping in with comments on us having a baby whenever I make a fuss of my newborn nephew, or my mum asking when she’s going to get a chance for a new hat for a wedding. I can take it but I feel awful for my poor DP who is wonderful but I don’t want him to feel like he is being pressured into anything or that I secretly want these things. I don’t.
My DP is starting to avoid coming along to family gatherings and to be honest I can’t blame him. They adore him, they see all of his fantastic qualities and how happy he makes me, and I suppose they want that “locked down” for me but how can I politely tell them to fuck off?!