AIBU...to let ExH take 4yr old DC abroad this summer without me?

[SpeckofDustUponMySoul]

ExH and I have not been together since our DC were babies, but he's maintained at least monthly visits (he lives the other side England to us) and video calls a few times a week.
Our DC (twins, aged 4.5) adore him and have been staying with him for a few days at a time a few times this year. It has been going okay.
My ExH is European and wants to take DC to his country for around 10 days this Summer to see their (his) family (for context, due to CoVid and multiple familial bereavements, our DC have not seen their paternal family since they were 14 months).
I know our DC will be well looked after, as my ExH's female relatives are are absolutely lovely and brilliant with children.
My AIBU is that certain comments from friends/acquaintances have made me question whether a) our DC are too young for a 10ish day round trip without me and b) am I being selfish for being okay with them going, despite reservations and the fact I'll miss them like crazy, as I am desperate for a break (chronic fatigue pain conditions make life a bit too tough to contend with sometimes?).
For context, all my Bio family are dead, so the European contingent are all the Bio family our DC will ever have.

YANBU they are not too young and besides will have each other for moral support as well as their father. And it's important that they build a connection with their father's family and culture whilst young - good for their sense of identity.

They will love it. My DDs have gone on a week long camping trip every summer from age 4 with their grandparents, and it is their fave week of the year. Plus, your twins will be with a sibling and their dad, not all total strangers.

Let it happen and enjoy the break!

Sounds like a great idea. I'm not sure what the issue would be.

it wouldn’t be a problem for me

Who is making you feel guilty for being fine with their other parent taking them for a holiday, giving you a much needed break?

Whoever it is is not a good friend.

For course it's ok, and as long as their father is loving and responsible, it would be unreasonable of you to say no. Ignore your dumb friends.

Do you completely trust your ex? Part of me thinks it’s no problem, part of me thinks he could decide not to come back to this country with them and you’d be screwed.

My youngest ds was with his dad for that long at a similar age. His hair was quite tangled when I collected him but other than that, all was well.

If you trust him to bring them back no problem.

As long as the country has signed The Hague convention (most European countries have) him not returning them shouldn't be something you need to worry about

Had the exact same questions myself as my DC is also 4, and father from abroad.

If you trust your ex, I see absolutely no issue with this. Let them go, enjoy the time to yourself (and have lots of naps and lie-ins)

Which country is it? Did you all go when they last saw their other family? Sorry i can't remember if you said.

@SpeckofDustUponMySoul you are being very reasonable to want them to go. You will enjoy the break. As you have said, your children adore their father and you have no safeguarding concerns. It's important for children to experience holidays with both parents.

YANBU. They will be fine.

I don't understand the issue really I mean it would be OK for you to take them away for 10 days but not their dad? It really isn't your friends business.

YANBU OP. Hell I'd let him take my 4yo too if he likes.😄

You are not only not being unreasonable, you are being incredibly responsible and child centred in recognising your childrens' right to develop a relationship with the extended paternal family. It's incredibly refreshing to read!

I was going to say the same. Children in my extended family were taken on similar trip, it was nearly 20 years before we saw them again. All grown up with children of their own.

I can still hear my scream when I was told what happened, it was a nightmare come to life. Probably the most horrific moment of my life, how their mother survived it I will never know.

I was about that age when my parents split up, and though my Dad was not the MOST observant of parents with small kids, I survived - things went rather more smoothly when my step mum came on the scene! If there's going to be a whole family there that you trust, should be fine.

The country they are going to has signed the Hague Convention and I have zero concerns about my ExH not returning them.
Last time we went together as the girls were so young. I'm still in regular contact with one of my ExH's siblings and other family members.
ExH is not the most responsible, mature father in the world, but I 100% trust his female relatives.
I think possibly the individuals (acquaintances/friends) who have expressed their surprise/concerns to me are possibly projecting their own anxieties onto my situation (one individual has NC with her ExH nor do her children etc), plus I'm the only one in my extended friendship/acquaintance network with a non-UK born ExH, so no-one I know has the issue of their children having overseas family.
I second guess all my decisions as a parent and I guess I just need other people's perspective upon this.
Thanks everyone who has commented on this, thus far.

Yes, now you have said they are covered by the Hague Convention I would agree to it. I think it is important on all levels. Yes you will miss them but the break will do you good,connection to their family is important and you say they adore their dad.
I think your response to them going is very refreshing.

This was what I was thinking.

I left my 3 year old twins for 10 days with my husband and au pair so I could go away with my sister on a trip to Peru we had planned for a long time - something I had wanted to do since I was a child. Not only were they fine but when I came home the au pair was reading them a story and all they said was hi mum - and went back to the story. No tears or anything. I think I missed them more than they missed me!