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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

nephew self harming with knife at 10yo

10 replies

namechangeladybee · 03/06/2022 10:38

I need help, I really don't know what to do.
S and Bil are addicted to drugs and use cocaine, speed, cannabis and alcohol daily.
They are due to receive big inheritance very soon and I'm worried about them having access to much money (bil left a house and static caravan so looking at potentially 3-400k after sale)

They have 3 children, 2 adults (20 and 19) and one 9yo son living with them.

The 9 year old has this week scratched himself with a kitchen knife. didn't draw blood but the act is clearly a cry for help. This is while I visited and I was obviously shocked and concerned. I asked him if the scratches were done to himself and he said yes and gave me the knife.

I spoke to bil (sister often just leaves the house without saying anything. so she wasn't there.)
He feigned concern but by his reaction it was clear this is 'normal'

Well it comes time for me to leave and bil is giving me a lift so nephew has to come too. obviously he definitely can't be left alone after self harming.

Nephew doesn't want to leave, throws everything in his room around, breaks things and won't come. he's a big lad, can't be physically guided to the car.
Right me and bil decide to have a cup of tea and try again later. Well after the tea, we go to nephews room and he's nowhere to be seen. I come downstairs and he is on the sofa and I sit down tell him it's time to go and he threatens me with an even bigger kitchen knife, making stabbing motions toward my face. I'm freaking out thinking why the hell has this kid got a knife and why is his dad sat there like its normal?

I tell nephew in a stern tone to give me the knife, and not to touch them again. his dad pipes up and tells me off for asking for the knife!

we then have this long winded conversation that lasts 30 minutes with a 9 year old holding a massive knife, periodically making stabbing motions towards me and then himself.
all the while his dad is on the phone buying him something to get him to put the knife down. So a child has a knife, threatening self harm and stabbing his auntie, his mother refusing to come home and then turns her phone off. his father bribes him with an amazon basket full of shit and I get told off for telling him to give me the knife.

Social services have been involved but aren't anymore. Since they haven't been involved, various family members have called the school, nspcc and social services for many things
including
-drug use

  • neglect
  • nephew talking in detail about drugs, knowing how his parents take them, where they are 'hidden' you need a credit card to make lines and sniff ffs! why does he know that?!
-nephew self harming -nephew running away and ending up at relatives house over 3 miles away.

noone has got in touch and one time they did they I formed sister and bil saying it must be a malicious call!

I don't know what to do

OP posts:
TooMuchToblerone · 03/06/2022 10:42

You need to press and press social services and tell them all of it. They need to get involved urgently. Don't give up until they take this seriously.

namechangeladybee · 03/06/2022 10:42

Ps his social skills are so bad
he frequently tells me to fuck off and bil and sister tell me off for telling him not to swear

they also made a big deal of our other sister restraining nephew when he was kicking and punching her. she held his legs to avoid a kick in the face. his mum was screaming saying she was beating him up when it clearly wasn't true she was trying to restrain him while he was having a break down that was quite violent. he is overweight and tall so not a small 9 year ild, he can hit back and does.

I am so worried for him. if he did this with the knife at school as a 15 year old he would be arrested. but he's 9 so his parents thinks it's OK. in fact they are encouraging the behaviour by rewarding it!

OP posts:
namechangeladybee · 03/06/2022 10:43

I've posted before about this child and the advice is to report. I've reported but the parents just tidy up and play happy families for a visit.

I am so worried. i don't take my children to play with him anymore.

OP posts:
Georgeskitchen · 03/06/2022 10:44

Police and social services need to be involved in this asap. That child is not safe

MarvellousMay · 03/06/2022 10:44

Why didn’t you call the police when he did the stabbing motion towards your face? This needs escalating and police involvement should trigger social services referral. Sorry but I think you need to do more to get the child help as his parents aren’t capable

Bednobsbroomsticks · 03/06/2022 11:03

If ss aren't doing anything I'd ring the police and ask for a welfare check to be done they won't give prior notice so no chance for then to play happy families. Failing that I'd be contacting ss every single day and raising it to higher management if nothing done. Male a nuisance of yourself till they act. Phone every day every hour if you have to.

Justdiscovered · 03/06/2022 11:06

Also report to the school and tell them all of it

notapizzaeater · 03/06/2022 11:22

Report it everywhere daily. What will the parents do when he does hurt someone/himself ?

namechangeladybee · 03/06/2022 11:26

it didn't occur to me to call the police to be honest and I am hesitant to as it would effectively end the relationship and then nobody but them would have access to the child, and as SS have shown that they don't actually care or do much, he'd be alone without the little support he has now.

I don't suppose anyone have been in similar position? is it worth the risk of losing access to the child, to potentially help him? It seems like a big risk as SS have done fuck all so far, despite having over 4 separate people reporting their Concerns for coming up to 10 years.

we initially were worried for the older children but they seemed to just want to eat until the children were 18 and wash their hands of them.

OP posts:
namechangeladybee · 03/06/2022 11:27

They would probably do fuck all or try to hide it from us all.

OP posts:
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