Unruly teenager urgent help!!

[Witsend01]

Hey everyone,

Im totally out of ideas now and could really do with some guidance.

I have a 14 year old, who as of late is becoming devious and manipulative. His latest “quirk” shall we say is to go out well past curfew and get high with his friends. Then play myself and his Dad against each other (it doesn’t work but it’s still not a nice thing to witness)

His Dad and I broke up when he was a baby and we have tried to be amicable but it seems that Dad has no control over his behaviour, where as I’m a little more stern.

This has backfired on me monumentally as he now doesn’t want to see me. I’m pretty certain it’s because he can get away with a lot more at his Dads.

My son is starting to hang around with an unsavoury crowd and I’m worried it’s gone past the point of no return to get him back on the straight and narrow shall we say.

I’ve tried offering therapy, talking with him myself in a calm environment, giving him space etc.

Please help I feel lost 😞

What (if anything) does his school think/say? How is he behaving there? Can they help or advise in any way?

I'm a school teacher, and in my experience, 14 year old boys are fairly knobbish at the best of times.

What conversations have you had with his father about it?

Where is he living at present? Between the two of you?

What's he getting high on?

He is smoking weed, he came home last night at 10:30pm. His curfew is 8pm, was looking to allow him to stay out later than this though, based on good behaviour.

As much as I try to work with his Dad, it seems that he is just as manipulative (why I left him). I totally don’t get it, he is horrendous to my son at times. Telling him he wishes he never had him etc, yet my son prefers to live with him and not see me anymore. I really dont understand what I’ve done that’s so bad!

His school work is actually pretty good, he is an intelligent boy. Currently though , he has been bunking school and answering back to teachers.