AIBU to want multiple pregnancy scans?

[Pregnantpolly]

AIBU to decide to have a pregnancy scan every 4 or 5 weeks in 2nd half of pregnancy?

I'm a super anxious person and know the scan only shows you what's happening that day but I also have an anterior placenta so less likely to feel movement.

I have no more NHS scans so I'll foot the bill and have private ones. I'm not expecting DH to take time off work.

It's costly and the money can be better used preparing for baby. The money would be coming out of my account not the shared account. I don't buy clothes/bags/shoes or spend lavishly in general.

There's no studies showing ultrasounds contribute to defects or harm baby. I just think I'm being unreasonably and crazy now and want confirmation either way!

I had my babies in a country other than the U.K. where it was perfectly normal to have a scan every month throughout the pregnancy, dropping to once every two weeks after 32/34 weeks and then once every week by the end. It was very reassuring and didn’t lead to any additional anxiety on my part- really the opposite. If you can afford it, why not?

I had an anterior placenta on my first pregnancy and we nicknamed him a caterpillar as he was wriggling around so much, so you might find yourself feeling them more than you think, but every pregnancy is different I know.

From around the appointment after my 20 week scan (might even have been before), my midwife appointments included them (and you) listening to the babies heartbeat, both my pregnancies were low risk and no complications and having a quick look on NHS website, first pregnancies get a midwife appointment about every 3 weeks. Is the listening to heartbeat with your midwife across all trusts does anyone know? Would this put you at ease?

Though of course do what you want if you can afford it. All the best :)

Also when I put ‘and you’ in brackets in regards to listening to the heartbeat, I of course meant ‘and me’ it would be very weird if you had listened to my babies heartbeat at my midwife appointments 😅

In the second half of pregnancy more scans will probably make you more anxious because they quite often come up with things - small baby/big baby/out of proportion limbs etc etc that then need investigating and usually turn out everything was fine all along.

You do just so your life is more manageable. I panic each time my child is away from me because how do I know she hasn't been run over etc. etc.
?

It's debilitating. We need a healthy balance.

In a way, if you don't go down this multiple scans route now it could help in the long run as your brain will be telling you 'you didn't do all the scans you thought you needed, and everything was okay. See, it's okay!'

Just an idea.

OP how will being signed off work help you? Doesn't work take your mind off the pregnancy?

I think you need to speak to your GP or an ante-natal psychiatric specialist more than you need to speak to a midwife or to have more scans.

Had there been a problem identified at the 20 week scan, additional scans would have been ordered. At my 20 week scan I had placenta praevia and was popped on the consultant's lost straight after. He ordered another scan at 28 weeks and the placenta had moved up. He ordered another at 34 weeks and the baby was big and breech. An external cephalic version was tried twice and after that he booked me in for an ecs. She was still Breech at 38 weeks.

She moved the weekend between the final check and the ECV. I felt the ECV couldn't be justified. The consultant had me monitored weekly but not scanned until she was born. At my request I had a scan prior to induction to make sure she was in a good position and the cord was well out of the way.

Good luck. If I were you I'd spend my money on a couple of consults with an obstetrician privately and look to get some therapeutic support for your anxiety.

Elective C Section ECS not ECV at 38 weeks.

I'm in N Ireland so we didn't do all the blood tests and NT/ NIPT/ Quad tests and the cheapest was £300 so the possibility of defects still plagues me mightily.

There's a few other things we miss out on during pregnancy. I have heard the baby on the doppler at 16 weeks but then on here someone said even midwifes don't use it accurately so got me worried.

Being off work probably wouldn't help, I'm still at work but not quite doing what I was doing because it was too dangerous and risky but it's still full of stress and quick decision making so is problematic at times but the day passes quickly because I can't focus on anything else during the day although my line manager's boss thinks I can swing it so I can work from home from 28 weeks.

If it will help having these milestones to break up the rest of pregnancy than do this.

Once you get past 20 week you might start to feel less anxious. Past 30 weeks and you are flying - this comes from another mum who was terribly anxious having lost babies before her last.

But with my last I was having scans every 4 weeks after week 28 and it did help - every time I saw his heart beating and knew he was fine

You need a perinatal mental health assessment

I've been having growth scans every 3-4 weeks consultant led and tbh you can't make anything out when they get so big anyway save your money babies cost a fortune and its better spent elsewhere. I also have an anterior placenta and trust me you can still feel movement and kicks

@Pregnantpolly I never had anxiety or depression before I got pregnant. A much wanted baby. Went on holiday to Cyprus at about 18 weeks and just cried for a week because I was so anxious and unhappy about everything. It's your hormones, they do really weird things to some of us.

You are absolutely doing the right thing by speaking to your midwife. It;s such a taboo - everyone seems to be delighted and excited for the baby to arrive and for some of us it's not like that at all, it's a scary, overwhelming and sad time.

Take care of yourself. (and don't book scans).

Address the anxiety OP and the root cause of it.
As someone who suffers with anxiety this is my advice.
It rarely helps having numerous of anything and then can become obsessive.
For example during last year my DD caught covid. Before she caught it I was pretty blasé, it probably won't happen to me blah blah.
Anyway I started spiralling as soon as I saw that positive test of hers.
I started testing myself. At first it was every day. Then it was every night too. Towards the end of the 10 days I was testing 3 times a day. And I'd sit and wait for the clock to go to 8am when I could test, then 12pm and then 8am again. And then if I was awake in the middle of the night for whatever reason I'd do another one.
I was sneaking boxes up my jumpers to stop DH seeing I was being neurotic. I was ordering a box of them every day
None of them helped to reassure me. I'd be relieved for about 15 minutes and then start clock watching again until I could take another.
My tonsils and nose were so fucking dry I'd given myself a sore throat from the swabs.

Do not, please do not go down the route of having scans.