Page 2 | To TTC straight after starting a new job

userttc2022 · 2022-06-01T21:16:25+00:00

Want to try for our first. I'm 31 so feel like time isn't really on my side. Starting a new job on Monday. AIBU to start TTC as soon as my next cycle starts? I'll also be on 45K and worried that if I go on maternity leave and return, they'll try to cut my pay as the role I'll be in is a high pressure management role that I don't think I could carry out unless I went back full-time, which I don't think I could do straight away.

Onwards22 · 02/06/2022 19:08

Many companies won’t pay maternity pay, sick pay etc until after a certain amount of time so check and double check this policy.

I would also personally want a good 12 months in my new place of work.

Mothers don’t talk enough about how difficult it is to return to work after having a child and going back to somewhere that you don’t really know the ropes or have a good relationship with anyone is going to make things much more difficult.

Do whatever you feel comfortable with but if it was me I’d wait at least 3 months before TTC.
Biologically this won’t make a difference but it could make a big difference to you to give you chance to know the job and build up good relationships- if you have morning sickness, need time off for scans, coming back after maternity leave etc.

110APiccadilly · 02/06/2022 19:15

If there's no enhanced pay on offer then there's no reason why not (there's a good reason, employers, to offer enhanced pay!) Depending on how quickly you go back, bear in mind that you'll accrue annual leave while off which you could possibly use to come back PT to start with, for instance by taking one day a week off (obviously, like any use of leave, the company would need to agree this). That might help you ease back in if it's an option.

theobligatorynamechange · 02/06/2022 21:20

Well, what would you regret more?

Things not working out with this job, or not having a baby?

If you know the answer to that, you know which risks you're prepared to take.

Original poster

userttc2022 · 02/06/2022 21:58

sayanythingelse · 02/06/2022 18:55

YANBU but I did this and I still haven't got the nerve to tell them I'm pregnant. I'm 18 weeks 😅

Haha! Congratulations! You're doing a great job of hiding the bump then!

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Original poster

userttc2022 · 02/06/2022 22:00

110APiccadilly · 02/06/2022 19:15

If there's no enhanced pay on offer then there's no reason why not (there's a good reason, employers, to offer enhanced pay!) Depending on how quickly you go back, bear in mind that you'll accrue annual leave while off which you could possibly use to come back PT to start with, for instance by taking one day a week off (obviously, like any use of leave, the company would need to agree this). That might help you ease back in if it's an option.

No enhanced pay. Would just be SMP, which I believe I would be eligible for as long as I got pregnant after a month there.

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Barleysugar86 · 02/06/2022 22:01

I agree with the wait until you have passed any probation period- i got pregnant at 31 on the first cycle of trying, and by the time I got to 6 weeks (which is in reality only 4 weeks after) I had very bad morning sickness. You want to make sure you are in a secure place jobs wise just in case that happens.

Original poster

userttc2022 · 02/06/2022 22:02

theobligatorynamechange · 02/06/2022 21:20

Well, what would you regret more?

Things not working out with this job, or not having a baby?

If you know the answer to that, you know which risks you're prepared to take.

That is a great question. Both would be upsetting, but I'd regret not having a baby more.

The thing is I hear so many stories of women who wait, and then when they finally try, it isn't as quick as they imagined it would be.

There is nothing to say that I would even get pregnant if I started trying straight away.

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Original poster

userttc2022 · 02/06/2022 22:05

Barleysugar86 · 02/06/2022 22:01

I agree with the wait until you have passed any probation period- i got pregnant at 31 on the first cycle of trying, and by the time I got to 6 weeks (which is in reality only 4 weeks after) I had very bad morning sickness. You want to make sure you are in a secure place jobs wise just in case that happens.

Yeah the morning sickness worries me as I had one coworker who kept throwing up at work, so she ended up having to announce her pregnancy earlier than anticipated as everyone was getting a little worried!

I'm only on a 3 month probation period so not too long to wait but as I said above, there is no guarantee that I will get pregnant first try. It could take months, even years.

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Barleysugar86 · 02/06/2022 22:35

userttc2022 · 02/06/2022 22:05

Yeah the morning sickness worries me as I had one coworker who kept throwing up at work, so she ended up having to announce her pregnancy earlier than anticipated as everyone was getting a little worried!

I'm only on a 3 month probation period so not too long to wait but as I said above, there is no guarantee that I will get pregnant first try. It could take months, even years.

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I said the same about we might as well try from now, it will probably take ages, and that's how I ended up with morning sickness on my wedding day! 😂I think odds of conceiving first month at 31 are 1 in 5.

If it's only a three month probation and as morning sickness doesn't start until week 6 you'd only need to wait until you'd been there two months really to try to not risk it during probation. It sounds like you'd need to wait to try for one month anyway for SMP so it's just another few weeks really. Technically they can't let you go for pregnancy related sickness but it would be hard to argue that's what it was before you have your permanent contract confirmed.

MrsTimRiggins · 02/06/2022 23:00

I’d go for it personally… I did. I started ttc Feb ‘20, started a new job March ‘20 and didn’t have my son til Nov ‘21. I was 26 when we started ttc but do have issues with pcos. That being said, you never know how long it’ll take you really, and I don’t believe people should plan their lives around jobs (within reason!) especially not something like ttc.