To think my friend is making bad decisions?

[Eurydice84]

One of my best friends (mid-30s) has recently separated from her long term partner. She has then started dating a much younger guy (early twenties) who moved continents to be together, and quit her fairly well-paid job to go to art school full time for a few years. She now has no savings, no pension, and is renting. A few years ago she was adamant she really really wanted kids but it feels that window is closing if she doesn't meet the right person.

I don't feel it's my place to give her advice if she was "living her best life", but she's recently confessed she is feeling down. I am honestly a bit worried for her as - aside from the children issue - she is setting herself up for long term financial instability. But my opinions seem very boring and bourgeois now she's surrounded by all these Gen-Z youngsters!

Her choice, her problem. There is nothing you can or should do about it other than listen to her and by sympathetic.

Just because they aren’t the decisions you’d make it doesn’t mean they are wrong. She’s clearly not prioritising long term financial stability, but that’s her choice.

How does she have no pension? Or do you mean she’s just not paying into it at the moment?

@BattenburgDonkey I agree with you but it seems these decisions are ultimately still not making her 100% happy. I am worried she is going to regret this in a few years' time, and then it will be too late to start a family (which she seemed to stress a lot about in her twenties).

@helloaibu she is not living in the UK at the moment and has never paid into a private one

I'd hate it if my friends went online and wrote about how they thought the decisions I made about my life were bad. It's nothing to do with you how she lives her life. She has other priorities than you.

if her relationship ended that probably stopped her starting a family anyway?

not everyone meets their person and starts TTC by the same age. She might just need some time out before looking for something/ someone serious. She’s probably already feeling panicked about it.

If she’s never paid into a pension then I don’t really see what the difference is now?

I think ultimately it’s none of your business to judge her, sorry.

Did she express she is still desperate for a family? It sounds like she’s unhappy and at an unstable point in her life and by going to art school is trying to prioritise what makes her happy rather than society’s timescales for when you should be having kids, buying a house etc. If she’s not desperate for kids anymore that’s fine too. All you can really do is chat to her and support her, it still doesn’t mean the decisions are bad.