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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take a photo of my menstrual loss?

149 replies

Perplexed0522 · 01/06/2022 20:30

I have the most awful periods.

I pass the most awful of clots throughout the day, I can flood through 3 layers of clothing easily, I have to lie and sit on towels, I have to carry spare pairs of clothes around with me at all times, I usually can’t leave the house for the first few days and I’m dreadfully anaemic.

I’ve been on iron supplements for over 2 years now and my levels are still low and it has been attributed to my heavy periods.

I had an USS scan about 6 months ago, which was done about a week after my period had finished, and I was told everything was normal.

It’s been suggested by various Doctors that I have a Mirena Coil but I’ve had two in the past, which didn’t suit for me various reasons, and so because I said no they’ve washed their hands of me.

I have also been suggested to try Transaexemic Acid (sorry, I don’t know how to spell it) but I have a chronic condition which TA isn’t compatible with.

Im currently on my period now and I’m just so bloody fed up with it. It has a huge impact on my life and the Doctors just don’t care and aren’t interested.

In total frustration I’ve just taken a photo of the sanitary towel that I’ve just changed because of how totally flooded it is and because there are huge clots on it too. I want to show it to the GP so they can see how heavy it is and explain the flooding and the clots happen constantly (I have to change my towel every few hours), just so I can prove how bad it is.

I think they think I’m exaggerating about how bad it is, but I’m not.

My DH said it’s really inappropriate to take a photo to show them, but surely the GP will have seen worse?

I just can’t take it anymore and just want my life back. I feel beholden to it every month and I’m so fed up.

OP posts:
Augend23 · 01/06/2022 20:32

I'd also see if there's anything you can do to measure the blood loss (weigh them before/after? Obviously a bit vile). That way you have incontrovertible proof you're losing a lot of blood and no one can fob you off with "well it looks like a lot but most women only lose an egg cup's worth" or whatever the latest version of that is.

GoodVibesHere · 01/06/2022 20:34

Personally I don't think it would be appropriate to do that without being asked to.

stuntbubbles · 01/06/2022 20:34

When your DH gets periods he gets to decide whether it’s inappropriate or not. Until then, ignore him and definitely take photos to the GP.

Also! There was a whole campaign around colon cancer called “don’t die of embarrassment” where the whole point was to share “inappropriate symptoms” – this is the same sort of thing. You can’t get diagnosed without evidence or talking about the thing that’s happening. Same as you’d do a wee or stool sample if necessary.

As an aside I thought your thread title said “menstrual boss” and came on for the WTFs. Sorry it’s so awful.

PartyPlan · 01/06/2022 20:34

Agree with PP. The mooncup has a little measure gauge in it so you can literally measure how much you’re losing. It sounds awful for you.

HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 01/06/2022 20:35

You poor thing, it sounds terrible. I don’t think you’re unreasonable at all. If men had giant clots leaving their body im sure they’d be showing them to all and sundry.

it is appropriate to show medical professionals, not so inappropriate to show Debbie in the corner shop.

I hope you get some proper support, I really do. I can empathise hugely.

Matchingcollarandcuffs · 01/06/2022 20:36

I did that with the mooncup and it meant I could quantify the blood loss, which then got me taken rather more seriously by the GPs.

PrawnToast5 · 01/06/2022 20:37

It would be polite to ask them before showing them.

Paq · 01/06/2022 20:40

Your treatment has been disgraceful. If the USS shows nothing you should have been referred on to gynaecology.

How old are you? If you are done with having children you could insist on an endometrial ablation?

Bywayofanupdate · 01/06/2022 20:41

I took a photo of my prolapse a few weeks ago because it was never bad when I was at the GP. Mortifying but they're taking it seriously now!

USaYwHatNow · 01/06/2022 20:41

I mean, I'm a midwife. I love it when women show me their postnatal pads because it gives me a complete visual of what's going on, size of clots etc. and I can examine them properly. It gives me all the info I need rather than vague 'ah well it was about that size...' points to an apple in the fruit bowl 😂

Surely it can be helpful to at least offer to show them a photo?

We also weigh pads at the hospital to check for blood loss so 150g would mean 150mls of blood loss and so on. Might be helpful to buy separate kitchen digital scales and weigh what you're losing and keep a record?

purplephazersettostun · 01/06/2022 20:41

I wasn't taken seriously until I saw a hematologist for something else, and I was able to say in ml how much I lost during my periods as I used a moon cup type thing.

I would very much show the photo to your GP. It won't shock them and is very appropriate to do so.

SurvivingTheGame · 01/06/2022 20:45

Wouldn’t hurt to ask them if they want to see it. I complained of heavy blood loss after my first dc, wasn’t taken very seriously, after a large flood I went to hospital and they actually asked me to put on a clean pad and then show them the pad while admitted, turned out I had a post partum haemorrhage

RoseGoldEagle · 01/06/2022 20:47

It’s completely fine to show a medical professional a photo like this. The comments about it being inappropriate highlight the issues we face- it’s a bodily function, that’s out of whack in your case, and doctors are there to sort it. Sorry you’re not being taken more seriously OP, I had horrifically heavy periods (that in my case were improved with a coil but appreciate that’s not helped you) and hugely sympathise. I couldn’t do the 20 minute school run when I was on my first few days without flooding. Measuring how much I was losing by a mooncup helped me let them know the kind of volume I was losing too.

ChunkyWallabe · 01/06/2022 20:48

Yes defo take a pic. Maybe write a little diary with all the symptoms and times. It's awful that you have to plead your cause but once you get a referral to an appropriate specialist it will be worth it.

The only part of your post I didn't understand was you having to change your pad every few hours...thats normal isn't it? Or do you mean like every 2 hours?

Original poster
Perplexed0522 · 01/06/2022 20:49

I could weigh my pads and then I would double the number of mls to cover the amount of blood I leak as well.

And as for the Egg Cup - the clot I’ve just passed would fill up an Egg Cup.

I wouldn’t trust a moon cup because I doubt it would be able to contain much of the amount of blood and clots I lose, I imagine I would have to wash and change it every hour.

Ar the end end of the day I just see my photo as being one that contains blood. I don’t imagine many Doctors find looking at blood inappropriate. What difference does it make whether it comes from a nosebleed or a womb?

In response to posters above…

I was under gynaecology when I had my USS scan done but because it was normal they discharged me.

I am almost 39 and definitely done with having children.

OP posts:
SecondarySnob · 01/06/2022 20:49

YA 100% NBU to take and show a photo of blood loss to a medical professional.

I also agree with the scales/mooncup so you can get a measure of what you're losing and get the treatment you deserve. X

Original poster
Perplexed0522 · 01/06/2022 20:50

The only part of your post I didn't understand was you having to change your pad every few hours...thats normal isn't it? Or do you mean like every 2 hours?

Yes, every 2 hours is average. Sometimes I have to do it more frequently if I suddenly have a flooding episode.

OP posts:
baffledcoconut · 01/06/2022 20:52

second weighing your pads. Then it’s facts and figures and quantifiable rather than a description. Good luck, it’s absolutely miserable and totally wrong that you should be suffering like this.

Also do show the photos!

Nonidea what sort of egg cup people talk about. Can only assume its a fucking ostrich.

Dominuse · 01/06/2022 20:53

PrawnToast5 · 01/06/2022 20:37

It would be polite to ask them before showing them.

This

WooNoodle · 01/06/2022 20:53

Take the photos. Your DH doesn't get a say in your medical appointments. Obviously when you show them to the doctor give them a warning first don't just shove the photos in their faces.

SeenCanary · 01/06/2022 20:53

Please keep going back and insisting on a gynae referral - it wasn’t until I bled buckets in the waiting room at A&E that anyone took me remotely seriously. The fact it was happening at home didn’t bother anyone!! Only when it was in front of their eyes did the scale of it seem to register. So do it!

Hallyup89 · 01/06/2022 20:55

Yes it's fine. Doctors are used to seeing much worse than that and it'll give them a better understanding of what's actually going on. As for people saying it's inappropriate or it's polite to ask, screw that. This is what GPs are for and a GP that is shocked by a photo of a sanitary towel needs to re-evaluate their career choice.

Kreature69 · 01/06/2022 20:57

At 39 I had periods just like yours. Take photos....its awful to live with.

DreamingofGinoclock · 01/06/2022 20:58

It won't help with the doctors taking you seriously issue.

However, while you are still fighting to be taken seriously have you considered wearing period pants with a pad on top ...then if you flood the pad there is an extra layer of protection?

Really hope you manage to get doctors to take you seriously soon x

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 01/06/2022 20:59

Also the number of pads you use in a day. Like you, when I had my period sometimes I would flood and go from my desk to the toilet, back to my desk and straight back again because I had passed a massive clot. I am not post menopause, recently had problems with my HRT and started passing clots again, took photos with my hand next to them for reference for size. I had been offered a hot water ablation in the past which takes out the womb lining and stops this - but you have be sure not to get pregnant after. So may be worth asking about?

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