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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be mad about false allegations?

29 replies

cloverpie · 01/06/2022 17:43

My partner says I'm getting mad for no reason, but our neighbours have apparently mass reported us for littering and in general dirty behaviour in a communal area.

We live in a flat, with about 6 other people, which has a communal bin area. Last week, apparently ALL our neighbours messaged our housing agent and complained that our bin was 'over flowing and covered with maggots and mice' and that we don't tie up our bags and use other peoples bins.
Obviously i was both upset and confused when i heard this, and i went down to check right after i got the email, that our bins were both totally clean and empty! We are a small family, two adults and one toddler, and we have 3 bins. We only put out two ish bags a week, and the are always either tied, or covered over by another bin bag, if the bag didn't come with those yellow draw string thingies.

I have a a huge phobia towards things like maggots and dirt, so i would know if we had a pest problem by our bins.

I took photos of the bins the same day i got an email and sent them back to the housing officer, and they were totally ignored. She replied a week later with stating that everyone in my block has a problem, and Environmental Health will be investigating us.

Now, i want to add, that this is the same housing officer that has lied about contacting us and visiting us to her management many times, and is currently under investigation for her last lie of 'waiting outside our door for hours.' Jokes on her the camera door bell said otherwise. :'}

Am i being unreasonable to get angry over this? Its making me so stressed and upset, because i go out of my way to be a good, clean and quiet neighbour. I am even friends with a few and they have said they don't have an issue with our bins at all.

My anxiety is so bad i cant relax or sleep. Please help.

OP posts:
WooNoodle · 01/06/2022 17:46

Can you think why they might be targeting you? I think you're doing the right thing, keep taking photos of your bins. Sorry you're dealing with this.

cloverpie · 01/06/2022 17:49

Well, we are the newest family in the block... But other than that, no.

Thankyou for the kindness. It is really needed rn x

OP posts:
ElfAndSafetyBored · 01/06/2022 17:53

I’m sorry you are going through this too, but if you are as clean as you say you are, try not to worry about the investigation, they shouldn’t find anything. I agree with PP, I would take regular photos of the area though, document it.

it really hurts to be accused of something you haven’t done though. My husband was harping back recently to an incident over 15 years ago when he was falsely accused of taking his own drinks into a hotel (we’d spent 100s in their bar as well).

cloverpie · 01/06/2022 17:56

Jeez.. That sucks. I'm sorry that happened to you, too. I will keep taking pics. I thought our neighbours were trustworthy. Its horrid to know they live within feet of you, and think these horrid things..

Thanks for the reply x

OP posts:
Campervangirl · 01/06/2022 18:02

Are you sure it's the neighbours and not the housing officer trying to get you in trouble after you proved she was lying and she's now under investigation?
Is there a nice neighbour that you could politely ask if they've heard of any complaints against you as you'd be keen to rectify any issues in the spirit of neighbor relations

Isaidnoalready · 01/06/2022 18:03

Take daily pictures time/date stamped

I was accused of burning a wardrobe in my garden I literally hadn't burned anything I was also told I was having drunken arguments with my boyfriend in my garden it was two houses down not me the housing officer was adamant it was me the girl left the abusive relationship rang the housing officer called her a fucking idiot and said it was her boyfriend doing the burning and yelling we ended up moving in the end to get away from the housing officer sadly my new housing officer thinks I'm building a driveway in my back garden I can only access the garden by foot im not sure she believed me 🤦

cloverpie · 01/06/2022 18:06

Yeah, i sort of speculated this, but she is reiterating it after she has been reported.. So I'm inclined to believe its true, sadly. I asked my nearest neighbour and she said she hasn't heard or seen anyone complain, and she said our bins are fine... This is why i am concerned. I don't know who's reporting it.😥

OP posts:
cloverpie · 01/06/2022 18:08

I'll keep taking pictures. I don't know why we have been reported at all. It's funny though, no one reports the violent drug den across the road, though...🙄😂

OP posts:
mumofmany81 · 01/06/2022 18:09

cloverpie · 01/06/2022 17:56

Jeez.. That sucks. I'm sorry that happened to you, too. I will keep taking pics. I thought our neighbours were trustworthy. Its horrid to know they live within feet of you, and think these horrid things..

Thanks for the reply x

Try to not let it get into your head that your neighbours were complaining about you. If it was me I would be willing to bet that it’s the housing officer who is making the complaints up or writing them and sending them to herself as if it was from your neighbours. She sounds like she’s not very nice given that she lied about you before and she’s probably kind of miffed still about getting caught out. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable to be upset by this - I’m autistic and I go over and over things like this in my head and get really anxious about it. I would go over her head with photos etc though and make sure you’ve documented everything with them.

cloverpie · 01/06/2022 18:12

I have ADHD and severe anxiety. I am also a chronic over thinker.. So yeah it is getting to me waaaay to much. The housing woman has been ignoring our repairs for over a year, aswell.. So honestly i would not be surprised.😞

Ill be taking pics daily

OP posts:
2bazookas · 01/06/2022 18:18

When the bin men come, ask them if they have ever had any problem with your bins.
Record on phone.

cloverpie · 01/06/2022 18:18

That is a really good idea! If i can get downstairs in time then i will do that x

OP posts:
SchoolThing · 01/06/2022 18:25

This sounds very strange. If it is your housing officer, wow that is crazy!!

Unfortunately no one in here can reduce your anxiety, I imagine it is very tough for you.

But the advice to take time stamped photos is good. Maybe a little video of you taking it out. And keep in touch with your neighbours.

Perhaps not the time for it but as an aside that seems like a lot of rubbish to put out. Do you recycle and compost? You can get very compact food scrap compost systems.

Whitehorsegirl · 01/06/2022 19:00

What you need to do is go above the housing officer's head. You find out who their manager are (ring if needed) and you lodge an official complaint against them. You explain that you are being victimised that this person and that false allegations are being made against you. that should make them think twice, especially if they are already being investigated for dodgy behaviour.

cloverpie · 01/06/2022 22:08

We only put out two bags a week into one bin. We have 3 bins but only use them if we have overhaul. We recycle and have a normal bin.

OP posts:
cloverpie · 01/06/2022 22:09

I did that, but she is continuing. I am calling her manager again tomorrow for good measure!

OP posts:
cloverpie · 01/06/2022 23:55

I am realising now that i mostly have nothing to worry about as the allegations aren't true.. I was overthinking it (as per usual..)😅

OP posts:
Valeriekat · 02/06/2022 06:31

ElfAndSafetyBored · 01/06/2022 17:53

I’m sorry you are going through this too, but if you are as clean as you say you are, try not to worry about the investigation, they shouldn’t find anything. I agree with PP, I would take regular photos of the area though, document it.

it really hurts to be accused of something you haven’t done though. My husband was harping back recently to an incident over 15 years ago when he was falsely accused of taking his own drinks into a hotel (we’d spent 100s in their bar as well).

What business is it of theirs if you did take your own drinks to the hotel?

cloverpie · 18/07/2022 01:53

I actually have an update on the situation. Because her fake complaints were investigated and found to be false, she changed her story to be that we stole a bin that isnt ours.

She actually verbally assaulted me outside my front door over this, screaming like a mad woman about it. She wouldnt let me or my partner speak, so we went inside and phoned the police. (She was acting a certain way that gave me the impression she wanted to start a fight, and had her dog off a leash and was letting it come near us with our one year old, otherwise i wouldnt have called the police.)
That was about a month ago, and now she has vandalised our bin with paint 🙃and hangs around outside our windows, smoking on the green everyday, despite having a garden she can use. Due to my severe social anxiety, if she is out there im literally too scared to leave the house. Im currently waiting for the police to investigate, and to hear whether or not we will be moving home.

Also, the friendly neighbour who was saying i was in the right turned out to be a little spy for the crazy lady next door! She admitted to pot stirring and sharing info, and even made fake complaints about us herself!

We havent spoken to any of them since, to protect ourselves, as they all seem off the rocker entirely, lol.😭

OP posts:
ClumpingBambooIsALie · 18/07/2022 02:03

Holy shit they all sound bizarre.

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 18/07/2022 02:05

Unpleasantly bizarre.

And bizarrely unpleasant.

cloverpie · 18/07/2022 02:45

Part of me wants to hope they are mentally well, and perhaps they have some sort of issue and maybe they need help..

Then i remember that these people are just genuinely mean spirited 👁

OP posts:
marvellousmaple · 18/07/2022 03:27

All very odd. Can you move?

Gingerkittykat · 18/07/2022 05:24

cloverpie · 18/07/2022 01:53

I actually have an update on the situation. Because her fake complaints were investigated and found to be false, she changed her story to be that we stole a bin that isnt ours.

She actually verbally assaulted me outside my front door over this, screaming like a mad woman about it. She wouldnt let me or my partner speak, so we went inside and phoned the police. (She was acting a certain way that gave me the impression she wanted to start a fight, and had her dog off a leash and was letting it come near us with our one year old, otherwise i wouldnt have called the police.)
That was about a month ago, and now she has vandalised our bin with paint 🙃and hangs around outside our windows, smoking on the green everyday, despite having a garden she can use. Due to my severe social anxiety, if she is out there im literally too scared to leave the house. Im currently waiting for the police to investigate, and to hear whether or not we will be moving home.

Also, the friendly neighbour who was saying i was in the right turned out to be a little spy for the crazy lady next door! She admitted to pot stirring and sharing info, and even made fake complaints about us herself!

We havent spoken to any of them since, to protect ourselves, as they all seem off the rocker entirely, lol.😭

Is it the housing officer hanging around smoking with her dog?

Are the crazy and spy neighbours making complaints are well as false complaints by the housing officer?

This has confused me.

Isaidnoalready · 18/07/2022 13:44

Ummm your housing officer lives in your block? Or crazy lady lives in your block?

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