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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give up.

8 replies

Happyhippo87 · 01/06/2022 17:04

After years of trying to get into a decent relationship - I have once again been dumped.

I am 34, nearly 35 and feel it is the same hopeless shit over and over again with any guy I meet. I am numb to it. Nothing surprises me. I feel I am always good enough for a shag, one night thing. If I am lucky I get a six to eight week situationship - but theres something about me that never quite get girlfriend status. It is humiliating. I feel the chance to have had a family is gone. Seeing my 35th birthday approaching is killing me.

Thats it really.

OP posts:
worriedparent12 · 01/06/2022 17:19

You can still have children.

There's men that desperately want kids as well.

Just make clear that you want kids while dating to make sure you're both on the same page.

Don't give up xx

Oysterbabe · 01/06/2022 17:24

It's very hard work. You need to make it very clear what you're looking for and keep plugging away, it's a numbers game.

Starbeach · 01/06/2022 17:25

Are you meeting men online? How long have you been single or in and out of these situationships for? Are you coming on too strong or giving the the wrong ones what they want too soon and so they use you and then you end up getting hurt so you rebound? I'm 39 and just about to have my first baby so your not too old xx

Original poster
Happyhippo87 · 01/06/2022 17:26

Starbeach · 01/06/2022 17:25

Are you meeting men online? How long have you been single or in and out of these situationships for? Are you coming on too strong or giving the the wrong ones what they want too soon and so they use you and then you end up getting hurt so you rebound? I'm 39 and just about to have my first baby so your not too old xx

Nope have asked friends - do not come too strong, tend towards other way.

Meet online - tried real life same story. Paid over 5k for dating agency - same story.

OP posts:
Original poster
Happyhippo87 · 01/06/2022 17:27

Starbeach · 01/06/2022 17:25

Are you meeting men online? How long have you been single or in and out of these situationships for? Are you coming on too strong or giving the the wrong ones what they want too soon and so they use you and then you end up getting hurt so you rebound? I'm 39 and just about to have my first baby so your not too old xx

Intercourse tends to vary for when I feel it is right - sometimes first date / sometimes not at all. Either way I still get ghosted or dumped.

OP posts:
Original poster
Happyhippo87 · 01/06/2022 17:27

worriedparent12 · 01/06/2022 17:19

You can still have children.

There's men that desperately want kids as well.

Just make clear that you want kids while dating to make sure you're both on the same page.

Don't give up xx

Thanks

OP posts:
NerdyBird · 01/06/2022 18:20

I met my DH when I was nearly 35. We met in real life rather than online, it was a bit random and he wasn't the type I'd usually go for but it's worked well so far. We have a dd together and I have 2 stepchildren.

I'd never previously considered dating anyone who was really sporty or had children so it was a big change for me.

Hope you have better luck soon.

Bywayofanupdate · 01/06/2022 18:25

Like NerdyBird, my husband wasn't my usual type physically and we didn't have many interests in common. I was at a point where I just thought give it a go! Here we are, 15 years later. Don't give up, it will probably happen when you least expect it!

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