Dh/ DD Apple Watch fiasco- aibu?

[nationalvelvet]

Dd (17) recently left school and now has a full time job until she starts uni in September. She gets paid well and has no overheads other than travel.

Dh and I both work full time but are skint atm for various reasons, including petrol costs (long daily commute) and DS being at uni in an expensive city. (He doesn’t qualify for full loan).

This month, due to a couple of unforeseen expenses, after food/ petrol/ bills we have nothing spare- and I’m not convinced we’ve got enough even for that. Dd needed some new work clothes and I had to put this on cc and ask her to pay me back when she gets paid.

Dh announced yesterday that he’d sold his own watch to buy an Apple Watch for DD to say well done on getting through exams and getting a new job.

While this is a nice sentiment, Aibu to think she could buy her own Apple Watch, and this isn’t an appropriate thing to be spending on when we can barely afford to cover basic costs? We’re not badly in debt but have about £500 on credit cards with no realistic means of paying off in the near future. He could have sold the watch to pay this off and saved some interest!

If he sold his own watch and it didn't come from family budget YABU.
Ask him what else he can flog for the cc, DD gift was a one off event.

It's not a fiasco though. He hasn't taken money out of the family coffers, he has sold his own property to buy something for your DD. His stuff, his choice what to do with it.

I mean I guess as it's his he can do what he wants with it but it seems a bit of an excessive gift.

Thanks all.
By way of context I do all the monthly budgeting and it’s been pretty wearing recently what with not having quite enough to make do. I would have loved to get DD a present, and would have loved to pay for her new work clothes - I felt like a pretty useless parent for not being able to do so.
DH is crap with money generally and I just felt like he doesn’t fully get how much we’re struggling financially.
I really hope he does have something else to flog @MindPrison but I doubt it!

Your husband sounds lovely. What a nice gesture to show your daughter how proud he is of her. My ex would have sold his children's possessions to buy himself what he wanted. You chose well. The credit card will wait a bit, be proud of having a man who can demonstrate how much he loves his family.

He wanted to do something nice for your daughter, possibly because you spend a lot on your son. He didn't put it on a credit card but sold something that will only affect him. YABU

It’s weird not to have discussed it with you first. Even if that wasn’t a “permission” discussion, just a “chit chat” discussion. Who buys a big celebration present for a child without involving the other parent?

On it’s own, not unreasonable to sell his watch to do this, it’s his and you’re not massively in debt.

But not telling you of the idea coupled with the general uselessness with money? I’d be seriously pissed off.

Why do you need to pay for her clothes if she has a full time job until September?

The watch is kind of up to him though he probably could have discussed it with you.

I can see why this is frustrating for you, but try to see it for what it is. He did something kind that only negatively impacted him, but was lovely for your daughter. It hasn’t impacted the family money, you’re no worse off than you were before. Maybe when things settle get a proper discussion with him about how things are money wise and help him understand how worrying it is.

If she’s working and is paid well why are you going into debt to pay for her clothes? At 17 I was working and paying for my own clothes.

If the watch was his then he’s entitled to sell it and use the money how he wishes.

Oh I know it's frustrating but that is such a lovely gesture , selling his own watch to get her something she wants to say well done for working hard. In the grand scheme of things £500 on CCs isn't much, could you balance transfer to an interest free one?

Ah @bluedomino that made me well up a bit!
I know he means well and just wanted to spoil DD a bit- she’s had a tough few months.
I was also annoyed that he didn’t discuss it with me first though- this was 100% because he knew I’d not be keen. I’m fed up of always being the one saying we can’t afford things!
@LittleBearPad I didn’t need to get her clothes but she hasn’t been paid yet and had no money herself, so it would have been a nice gesture (if not quite as spectacular as an Apple watch)

If your skint why doesn’t DD pay rent to you if she’s still home. And if you’re entitled to tax credits and child benefit for her they will stop in August. You and your dh need a serious finances discussion as soon as poss

@PatAndFrank I know
The idea is she saves up now for uni so I don’t want to charge her rent.
We can get by, but only just- it’s all a bit depressing. I just keep thinking it’s not forever and once they both graduate we can live like kings (if we don’t kill each other first)

Why would he say it's only from him. Not very nice of him.

He hasn’t actually given it to her yet, it only arrived last night. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t say it’s only from him- but it would be obvious! DD knows fine well I wouldn’t buy such a thing