Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not want to be a taxi service

24 replies

Funkyslippers · 01/06/2022 12:12

DD has a very good friend who lives around a 10 min drive from us. I have no contact with her parents since her mum ghosted me for some unknown reason (I swear I've been racking my brains but can't think of a reason). We used to be good friends. Anyway they're 13 now so make their own arrangements for meeting up. Lately though it's always "mum can you collect friend?" Apparently her dad can't drive due to an injury and her mum sold her car a while ago and doesn't like driving the dad's car. How she gets about in that case I do not know. I want my DD to see her but I rarely get a thank you from the daughter and obviously never the parents for collecting her. WIBU to say I'm not collecting her every time? She has legs lol

OP posts:
orwellwasright · 01/06/2022 12:15

How many miles? Round here ten minutes drive would probably be about four miles. Seems a long way to walk to see your mate.

I get this is annoying but if this is the only way your daughter sees her friend then if you don't pick her up them presumably your own kid suffers.

Rogue1001MNer · 01/06/2022 12:15

You have to weigh up which is your priority -
your issue with the mum (or your stance on her issue with you)
or your daughter's social life.

I know it's annoying and not fair - these things should really be done in turns, but it isn't.

I say this as a driver with a non driving DH and DD's bff teen friend was the child of a single mum who didn't drive either (and her dad was dead) so I gave a lot of lifts and still do.

Rogue1001MNer · 01/06/2022 12:16

p.s. Do they have bikes?

WooNoodle · 01/06/2022 12:16

Is there a bus?

NerrSnerr · 01/06/2022 12:16

Where do they meet up? Near you or somewhere else? Could they get the bus?

Original poster
Funkyslippers · 01/06/2022 12:22

She always comes here as apparently they get bored at friend's house (plus DD is rarely invited!). It would take around 25 mins to walk

OP posts:
Topseyt123 · 01/06/2022 12:23

Is there any public transport where you live? Could the girls use that instead?

I know that might not be an option if you don't live in a city or large town.

Tell DD that you would love her to see her friend regularly but you are currently feeling rather put upon being expected to provide a free taxi service for someone else's child. Without even a word of thanks.

Topseyt123 · 01/06/2022 12:24

Funkyslippers · 01/06/2022 12:22

She always comes here as apparently they get bored at friend's house (plus DD is rarely invited!). It would take around 25 mins to walk

Then why can't they walk sometimes rather than expecting you to provide a service?

Noisyprat · 01/06/2022 12:26

So the friend would prefer to come to your house because at her house it's boring? Then the friend needs to find a solution herself. This is a good opportunity to demonstrate to your DD how (some) people are very good at making problems they have the responsibility of others. Your DD could offer to help her friend find a solution but expecting you to give your time to become part of the solution is not on. She cannot offer your time for free.

rahjama · 01/06/2022 12:32

25 minutes isn't a long walk.

BrioNotBiro · 01/06/2022 12:32

25 mins walk? I'm in my 60s and walk that to the shops/work everyday. Why won't she walk, that's nothing at 13.

LouisRenault · 01/06/2022 12:33

It would take around 25 mins to walk

Then they walk, or get a bus if there is one. Suggest your DD walks from her end so they meet half way and walk back together to your house.

A 13 yo is perfectly capable of walking for 25 minutes, and 25 minutes back, assuming no disability and we're not talking narrow country lanes with no pavements.

ImAvingOops · 01/06/2022 12:34

Yanbu. There are some real cheeky fucker parents out there who will just sit back and let you ferry their kids around like a bloody taxi service unless you kick back

orwellwasright · 01/06/2022 12:37

Funkyslippers · 01/06/2022 12:22

She always comes here as apparently they get bored at friend's house (plus DD is rarely invited!). It would take around 25 mins to walk

That's doable then. Mile and a half?

WooNoodle · 01/06/2022 12:38

Funkyslippers · 01/06/2022 12:22

She always comes here as apparently they get bored at friend's house (plus DD is rarely invited!). It would take around 25 mins to walk

Assuming there are no disabilities or limits on walking such as if you walk through that area by yourself you might get stabbed/mugged then I would suggest she walks to yours and you're happy to drive back maybe?

Nap1983 · 01/06/2022 12:43

I must be a mug but I’m happy to pick up drop off my DD and her mates if it means I know they are safe.

Sally872 · 01/06/2022 12:48

25 mins is not a big walk. Leave them to it. I would be helpful with lifts if bad weather or dark but routine should be they walk.

LakeTiticaca · 01/06/2022 12:51

So you are using your time and your fuel to ferry around a kid whose mum has not only ghosted you but has a car sitting idle on the drive because she "doesn't like driving it"
You are being taken for a mug in more ways than one. Tell the girls to look up the local bus timetable

WallaceinAnderland · 01/06/2022 13:07

I would probably say if she can get herself there, I will drop her home.

That's a compromise and if she can't/won't then it's not you saying no.

AskingforaBaskin · 01/06/2022 13:12

I would just tell your daughter that if her friend wants to come to your house then she better start walking and that you are no longer an option

EatYourVegetables · 01/06/2022 13:57

A 13 yo can walk for 25 minutes each way!! Have we all got to the point where we can’t get to the toilet without getting into a an SUV?

pumpkinpie01 · 01/06/2022 14:11

That's ridiculously lazy - she can walk ! Your dd could start walking to meet her if she wanted , but a 25 minute walk is nothing anyway !

FixTheBone · 01/06/2022 14:17

They can walk.

I used to cycle over an hour to my best mate's house at that age.

Original poster
Funkyslippers · 01/06/2022 14:25

Thanks all. Apparently just found out the mum doesn't like her DD walking on her own incase something happens! Maybe she should have sorted her own insecurities before she decided to have 3 children.....

I picked her up today but only because we're already going on a walk this afternoon. In future they will have to meet halfway or not at all. She did thank me as soon as she got in the car and she's generally a nice girl who DD adores

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread