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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is ditzy rather than old age?

33 replies

kidneybeans4u · 01/06/2022 10:29

My MIL lives with us and we want to help, but I dont know if it is age related or simply ditzy (i.e. she would have been the same back when she was 20).

She is perfectly capable of walking everywhere, remembering routes to new places, taking the bus, using smart TV, using smart phone apps, etc. However...

She forgets to close ground floor windows after leaving it open to air clothes. We discuss, she realises, then it inevitably happen again a few weeks later. It is such a security risk.

Similarly she would go to bed without locking doors that she had left open. I check every night but sometimes it is a side door that I dont even use so it gives me so much anxiety that I might miss something every night.

She waters the plants, then starts doing something else and forgets to switch off the tap.

We tell her not to pull too hard on the watering hose. She does it and it breaks. Twice.

She uses the same chopping board for raw meat and veg. Even though we have discussed many times.

She puts raw meat on the top shelf in the fridge next to edibles.

We have repeated conversations and reminders but each time she feels sorry, feels bad, and says her memory is so bad.

Am I crazy to think this is just ditzy? i.e. nothing to do with age?

OP posts:
elizabethdraper · 06/06/2022 13:27

Sometimes people get distracted and forget things

All those things you said I have always done

Personally I think you sound very dramatic

No dementia with me I am in my forties

kidneybeans4u · 06/06/2022 18:51

Update.

She has ulcers and just tried to kiss our kid. Luckily because of my paranoia, I was around and stopped it. As usual... she said she forgot.

I am at my wits end.

OP posts:
katrizia127 · 06/06/2022 19:48

That's ridiculous. Does she really need to live with you?

kidneybeans4u · 06/06/2022 20:10

katrizia127 · 06/06/2022 19:48

That's ridiculous. Does she really need to live with you?

Looks like you are the only one in agreement with me here. The votes suggests I am being unreasonable, which probably is fair.

Yes she wants to live with us to spend more time with us and kid etc... not permanently, just long stretches each time.

OP posts:
kidneybeans4u · 09/06/2022 03:45

I guess I am in the minority to be annoyed!

OP posts:
TheGetaway · 09/06/2022 03:56

She hasn’t got dementia and isn’t ditzy imo

She’s just done things differently to you all her life and it’s hard to break those habits. Her priorities are different to yours and she sounds quite chilled out.

AgentProvocateur · 09/06/2022 04:44

She’s just less neurotic than you. That’s all.

transformandriseup · 09/06/2022 04:48

She hasn’t got dementia and isn’t ditzy imo

She’s just done things differently to you all her life and it’s hard to break those habits. Her priorities are different to yours and she sounds quite chilled out.

Apart from not locking the door I would agree with this.

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