To commit murder?

[EBathory]

Single, mid 40's, rent, 2 adult children.
25 years behind bars, no worries about energy price increases or any bills, no deciding what's for tea etc then be released at pension age to whatever may come?

To avoid the drip feed it's my daughter's abusive boyfriend I would kill so the murder has purpose

Step 1 of commiting a crime: don’t post about it on mumsnet 😂😂

I'm happy to get caught thou

That’s not an issue, she needs to be caught for her cunning plan to work.

I can see why you’d be tempted but have a feeling it would cause you a lot more pain than its worth.

what if you daughter finds another abusive boyfriend whilst you’re in prison? You could do nothing.

im Sorry you’ve going through this

Shit. That must be hard as we are hardwired to protect and do anything to protect our kids.
Can you discuss with her how you feel? Does she want to be with him? Could she move in with you?
The scum isn't worth buggering up your life, though I completely see where you're coming from OP.

And if the next one is abusive, who will help her then?

It must be so, so hard to watch your child make poor choices (and see some predator take advantage of them) but she needs you in her life to remind her of her worth and to help her to escape when she's ready.

YABU to think that prison is ok. As a society we seem to have decided to treat prisoners as refuse, and to deny them basic dignity, safety, welfare and rehabilitation.

You poor thing. That horrible powerlessness when you can't do anything. I can see why you'd think/joke about it.

Best thing is constant open door. Just let her know you are always there.

Although going full Liam Neeson would be better.

I can't help her any more I'm broken by it, so this is a little fantasy that doesn't seem so far fetched at times

Is there a possibility to frame him for something and sue him for money to pay the rent. That’ll solve 2 of your problems.

Can't sue a cocklodger for shit - do you know how long they take to do one?

YABU to kill a human being to literally avoid paying rent and bills.

So sorry. Maybe there is a less drastic solution that doesn't leave you cut off from your daughter? Like put her in your car and go away somewhere? The effects can't be that much worse than being convicted of murder.

Make sure he has decent life insurance naming your DD as next of kin first!

Although I'd prefer to disappear into the sunset and frame him for my murder...

Do it with my blessing. If anyone abused my daughter, their life would not be worth living.

I’m sorry to hear that OP.

My friends DD is with an abusive partner and no matter how many times he puts her in hospital, she always ends up taking him back.
It breaks my friends heart and I believe it will put her in an early grave.

There is not much you can do apart from let her know you support her and pray that she’ll come to her senses sooner rather than later.

@EBathory

then be released at pension age to whatever may come?

How could you ensure all your NI contributions were up to date so you could claim the full State pension? 🌹

Aah, good point about the NI credits, must check, but as I've worked since a teen I must be close to 30 years worth.

I hope your daughter manages to leave

Not sure I'd agree with that. I've been in a prison and it's not that bad, I expected worse to be honest. Clean facilities, some had single cells with decent stuff in it to keep them entertained and they get jobs to do. The ones in for short term had it worse, lots of shouting in there, more than one to a room and less stuff obviously but still clean. Don't know about the food of course, but I wouldn't say it was bad, and you get zero dignity in hospital either from my experience. Sometimes the food in hospital is awful too, yet those people haven't committed a crime and they are sometimes treated worse than prisoners.

Rehabilitation though I agree, that does not happen at all.

Maybe women's prisons are better than men's then @PurassicJark I was truly horrified at what my brother told me about life inside his category B prison (and not because he was such a loverly person and I thought he didn't deserve to be there because he wasn't and he did). He said the food was largely inedible and there wasn't enough of it and he came out severely underweight. That's never happened when he's been in hospital (he's an addict and has quite a bit of experience with hospitals too). And the lack of treatment for mental illness in prison is criminal (or at least it should be).

Dixie Chicks: Earl. Inspiring at times.

It was a man's prison I was in (only visiting of course). The cat b ones are worse though, but generally are a 'holding' prison and don't stay there long term. If you are there long term, you've done something pretty bad and are not trusted not to try and escape a c or d prison. Some are worse than others, but they are there to be punished as well. When we have bad hospitals out there with bad care for patients, I'd rather spend the money on them than prisons if it was a choice. Shouldn't be a choice, but often is with budget cuts. They do need better rehab, mental health help, but it's never going to happen. They think their current way works and don't listen to the staff or actually look closely at statistics. So it will never change.