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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I can’t sort this out can I?

129 replies

MustBeInthewater · 31/05/2022 19:03

Many many years ago I lived with someone (friend) We were the same age and they had a lot of MH issues. Some very specific things and there were some incidents that happened relating to MH.

I recently decided to get life insurance - pretty straightforward claim (I thought) until they requested a gp report. Documented in MY medical notes are presentations at a+e for things that never happened but the times dates and details are the exact medical history of my friend. I can only assume that my name and dob were given on arrival. This was such a long time ago and I’ve had no idea at all. It’s never been mentioned and seemingly was buried in my notes but the gp doing the form had gone through everything with a fine tooth comb and uncovered this .

my GP will not entertain the idea at all that this is not my history. Short of getting a confession from the person involved (which won’t happen) I’m now stuck with serious inaccuracies on my record.

I don’t know what to do. Repeatedly telling my gp has now resulted in a situation where they are saying that I’m in denial and that this is a potential issue as I am not dealing with things and they would have hoped I would say ‘yes this happened but I’ve worked through things and it was a long time ago and I’m in a better place now’ but WHY would anyone admit to something they didn’t do . For one element of it I said I could go in and show that I don’t have something that was in my notes as proof but they said no.

i don’t really know what the point of me posting this is but I feel so frustrated. It also made me think how on presentation at a and e obviously ID isn’t checked and this had gone unnoticed for so many years that it’s too late for me to rectify it. I’m feeling very angry and let down

OP posts:
catandcoffee · 31/05/2022 19:55

I am going to assume your friend is/ was a self harmer.

So therfore you have evidence on your body of no self harm.

Find your inner anger and use it to right this wrong. Tell your so called friend ,you will be taking it to the highest level, and the Police /Courts will be involved.

scare the shit out of her... to put it bluntly.. unless she comes clean.

IsabelHerna · 31/05/2022 19:55

I would take legal action, that's horrible

Original poster
MustBeInthewater · 31/05/2022 19:57

Thesefeetaremadeforwalking · 31/05/2022 19:45

but the times dates and details are the exact medical history of my friend.

How do you know this OP, did you go to the hospital with her? Did she confide these details to you?

I lived with her so I knew exactly what was happening and when. Obviously I’ve been talking about self harm and what’s documented in my notes is the exact type of harm she did . Plus something else that happened. It’s her exact MH history.
BUT there MUST have been follow up so I worry letters were addressed to me if she had given my name etc ? So she would have taken post that arrived ? Gone to appts ? This is why I need the SAR as there can’t have been no follow up

OP posts:
LIZS · 31/05/2022 19:57

The Trust have a legal duty to ensure your notes are accurate. A DSAR might be the place to begin.

Original poster
MustBeInthewater · 31/05/2022 19:58

catandcoffee · 31/05/2022 19:55

I am going to assume your friend is/ was a self harmer.

So therfore you have evidence on your body of no self harm.

Find your inner anger and use it to right this wrong. Tell your so called friend ,you will be taking it to the highest level, and the Police /Courts will be involved.

scare the shit out of her... to put it bluntly.. unless she comes clean.

Yes. I said to my gp let me come in and show you - I have NO scars, not one mark , nothing

OP posts:
EileenGC · 31/05/2022 19:59

Oh that sounds horrible. Those things shouldn't be allowed to happen.

I know Mumsnet is a very anti-ID site, but I'm so glad I live somewhere where a healthcare card or other form of ID is required before you're even admitted to triage. Minimises such a risk, massively.

Original poster
MustBeInthewater · 31/05/2022 20:02

EileenGC · 31/05/2022 19:59

Oh that sounds horrible. Those things shouldn't be allowed to happen.

I know Mumsnet is a very anti-ID site, but I'm so glad I live somewhere where a healthcare card or other form of ID is required before you're even admitted to triage. Minimises such a risk, massively.

My gp surgery cannot get their heads round that this is a possibility I am so frustrated and they keep saying ‘well it’s YOUR name and dob’ I could cry I’m that frustrated

OP posts:
Original poster
MustBeInthewater · 31/05/2022 20:03

I’m trying to be calm, the SAR has been requested and when I receive that I will go through it all and mark all inaccuracies.

I’ll get in touch with the ICO

I will have to think about the police and maybe take advice.

OP posts:
JenniferPlantain · 31/05/2022 20:04

You may have to consider legal action against your former friend. She is ultimately the one who committed the fraud/identity theft. Of course it is even worse because she was having an MH crisis, but that burden should not fall on you. She will need to resolve this and you may have to force her to - but you must be certain.

Absolute nightmare OP. So sorry.

Clarinet1 · 31/05/2022 20:11

Sounds like a nightmare, OP. I suggest contacting either a solicitor or maybe even PALS at the hospital. It occurs to me, though, that if your friend was in an MH crisis all those years ago she may actually not remember what she did. She may have blanked it out or something. That doesn’t get you very far but it could be an explanation.

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 31/05/2022 20:11

I know it's 15 years ago, but you should be able to order bank statements for the months the appointments fell in. There might be a charge on your card made somewhere else on the date and time of any of the appointments.

What is he hospital parking like? Did they have number plate recognition? I wonder how long they store that data and if they can confirm that your car wasnt there. Perhaps a solicitor/private investigator could find out if her car was there.

Just... as much stuff as you can get your hands on to show you weren't there and she could have been.

Twizbe · 31/05/2022 20:13

This sounds awful.

I suppose you can't do much until your see your records in full.

Do you and your friend look similar? They won't have CCTV data that far back, but consultant letters do sometimes include some personal descriptors that might prove it wasn't you seen.

PriestessofPing · 31/05/2022 20:18

When you asked your friend did you do it in writing (like text etc) or did you do it in person. At this stage, i’d exhaust your other options first bit you may want her response to this in writing should you need it in the future.

Suzi888 · 31/05/2022 20:19

Bizarre! Has your friend given your name over?

Find out the dates and times of the incidences and then try to recall if you can prove where you were? In work? Etc

tootiredtoocare · 31/05/2022 20:20

Unfortunately, the GP practice can't do this. They just have the details, they didn't create the event, that came from the A&E department. That is who is at fault, but, again, they won't be able to do this now, because as far as they're concerned, what is on the record is what happened. They can't just remove events from your record. I don't know what the answer is, but it doesn't lie with your GP initially.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 31/05/2022 20:20

Your bank statements is quite a good idea in terms of demonstrating where you were, although not all transactions are timed.

TempName01 · 31/05/2022 20:21

You GPs attitude to it is really weird, why would they assume you are in denial?

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 31/05/2022 20:26

tootiredtoocare · 31/05/2022 20:20

Unfortunately, the GP practice can't do this. They just have the details, they didn't create the event, that came from the A&E department. That is who is at fault, but, again, they won't be able to do this now, because as far as they're concerned, what is on the record is what happened. They can't just remove events from your record. I don't know what the answer is, but it doesn't lie with your GP initially.

But they could have actually been helpful. The GP could have examined her to confirm or deny any physical conditions the notes say she should have. They could have gone through to check for any outpatient appointments/results which dont match the OP. They could have given her guidance for how to start fixing this.

Instead, they've accused her of being in denial refused an exam and insinuated that they are now concerned about her behaviour and worried the OP that they are going to start taking actions regarding her mental state.

TheFoxAndTheStar · 31/05/2022 20:29

Unfortunately I don’t think this is unusual. It is in my records that I had hypnotherapy (I didn’t), that I am allergic to penicillin (I’m not), and that I broke my collarbone (nope), all in the same 2 year period as a teenager. I have to assume records were messed up at some point. Everything since is accurate and fortunately the errors in mine don’t really affect me.

godmum56 · 31/05/2022 20:30

you might try pals (patient advice and liaison service. If they can't help directly they could signpost? Are the areas where there should be scarring personal or are they eg an arm or leg? You might try sending a photo of the unscarred area to your GP...no they can't change the record but it might help to get them onside?

beastlyslumber · 31/05/2022 20:31

How awful, OP. I'm not surprised you're anxious about it. I think as well as the advice others have given, I would go to the police about your friend. I guess she's broken the law.

inappropriateraspberry · 31/05/2022 20:31

Can you prove you were elsewhere on the dates? Like photos, holidays, even SM posts may show it wasn't you on those dates/times.
It's a shame it was so long ago, or you may have been able to find CCTV records of your friend at the hospital.

abblie · 31/05/2022 20:34

The only way I can see this figuring itself out is threatening legal action to both friend and gp. This is the problem with medical care you can say whoever you are and not have to prove it. I'm sorry your going through this and hope you get sorted x

SoloIVFer · 31/05/2022 20:37

Get the SAR. Document the dates and records of everything that isn't you and you believe to be your friend. Share it with your friend and tell her it was a long time ago and you understand she might not have realised the implications of using your identity. Ask her to send over a signed confession that says due to mental health concerns 15 years ago, she was in fact the person in all of these records and she impersonated you without understanding the implications. Then do what you need to do with that signed confession to get it all amended. Tell her if you don't get a signed and dated confession by dd/mm (maybe a month in the future), you'll have no choice but to go to take serious legal action against her because as much as you'd rather sort it amicably, having this on your record is causing major issues. And then follow through if she doesn't get what you need to you on time.

SevernEleven · 31/05/2022 20:39

Another one saying try PALS as a starting point.

Hope you get it resolved.

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