AIBU to consider going to Uni?

[FlybyNightlight]

Since lockdown I've been feeling like I'm stuck in a real rut. To give a bit of background I left school with just a few GCSEs and not at grades anyone would ever write home about. I don't think I'm stupid just think there was a lot going on at home at the time and maybe I wasn't mature enough to go any further with things. The thing is ever since thenI've always felt a bit like I'm missing out and recently started looking in to whether it would be an option to go to uni as a mature student.

I've found a course at my local uni that is one day a week to get you prepared for degree level (go higher at liverpool uni if anyone has heard of it and has any advice/experience of this??) and it seems affordable for the course and just is one day a week until you're a proper student. I'm really nervous about doing this. I might not be good enough but I know that if I don't I'll always wonder what if...? I've reached a point in my career (which I don't enjoy) where I can't progress any further without a degree. But it's not just because of that why I want to do it... it's also just for me. I know its geeky but I just want to learn stuff.

The thing is DH doesn't see why I'd want to go to uni and I don't know if he's got a point. He went when he was 18 and didn't enjoy it but I think we're just different about stuff like this. He says its stupid for us to take on extra debt at my age (I'm 35 for context), it won't guarantee me a better job, and we should be saving for if DS (15) and DD (12) want to go to uni. Part of me thinks he's probably right.

Anyone have any advice? Am I just being selfish wanting to do this for myself?

I think it's a great idea.
You're still young enough to do further education and financially benefit from the career boost.

Really not too late. Sounds like it might just be absolutely the right time for you.
Good luck OP

Do you have a particular degree and/or career path in mind? He might be more supportive if you present him with a concrete outcome.

It’s not selfish to want to learn. He’s being selfish trying to stop you.

i want to a brick uni in my early 30s and bailed (various personal reasons). Went with the OU a few years back, different subject, got a first, and now I’m finishing up my MFA with a brick uni with my eye on a PhD. Absolutely love it. Best thing I’ve done. And the benefits are way beyond just getting the qualification. Do it!

Why AIBU? There’s a whole Mature Study and Retraining board, here!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/mature_students

And no, of course you’re not BU.

(MNHQ will happily move your thread if you ask.)

So if I'm honest what I'd love to do would be either English or History and I've thought about maybe going into teaching after that if I'm any good at it. I've mentioned this to DH though and he's pointed out that our friend who's a teacher is always complaining about the job. This course would also let me do law I think which might have other options...

When its hard to make a decision, or to know what's best, it's usually because one doesn't have enough relevant information. And that is precisely the situation you are in now. You don't know if you are clever enough for uni, how much hard work it would be, whether you'd enjoy it. Do the 'go higher' course and find out. Then decide whether or not to go any further after you've done it.

That's really great to hear. I was thinking about the OU but don't know how I'd cope studying on my own. How did you find it?

Thanks for the link to that. I put it in AIBU because that's the main issue here at the moment. DH thinks it is unreasonable for me to do this and put us in debt by going to uni, and he might be right.

I was in the same position as you a couple of years ago, same age, same age kids and in a job I couldn’t go any further in without a degree. I got offered a degree apprenticeship to qualify in the area where I work.

like you I left school with a handful of fairly rubbish GCSEs and have just done a couple of vocational level 3 qualifications since. I wasn’t even sure they’d accept me due to my not great academic record, but they did. I’m just coming to the end of my second year, I won’t say it hasn’t been without its challenges. Going back to study as an adult was a bit of a shock. I’d never really tried hard with anything academic and it’s been a learning curve. But I’m doing well, I’ve passed everything with a good mark, some 1sts and some 2:1s and I’m looking forward to finally being qualified.

im honestly so pleased I did it. So I’d say go for it! You may well live to regret it if you don’t.

That's so good to hear! I'm really nervous about how hard it will be but glad its possible for other people.

Go for it, I got my degree young but have recently changed career (to teaching) and I love it. Having the holidays with the kids is a huge bonus too.

If you need to continue working could you look at the Open University too? You can do it all online part time.

I've thought about that, but don't know if I'd stay motivated if I was studying on my own. Think it would be too easy to start doubting myself. This course is just one day a week so I could work around that and then for the degree itself... who knows... But really good to hear someone say they enjoy teaching. Think that's what I want to do.

I would do the one year access course & see how it goes

Do it. I went back to college to take a 1 year intensive A level course, then went on to take an HND, which then counted as the first 2 years of a degree course. I finally got my degree at 35. Yes it would be nice for you to be able to afford to help your children through university, but it is more important for you to be able to improve your career prospects, and therefore your earning potential. Once you have done that then IF your children decide they want to go to university you can help them then. A word of warning though... you won't step straight into a well paid job. It took me several years to start earning what I consider to be a good salary, and it isn't a great one but quite frankly I don't want to be a high flyer. It is, however, a lot more than I would have been able to earn without it.

I’m studying with the OU at 35.

i love it. It’s really making my brain fizz ❤️

You deserve a partner that is supportive of you pursuing your dreams. If he can’t get with the programme then lose the dead weight.
What is even the point in being married if your partner keeps you down?

Surely the point is to help each other get the best out of life?

Thanks everyone! "Making my brain fizz" is exactly what I was looking for. Sometimes it feels like I'm stagnating at the moment.

But talked to DH again this evening about it and he said I'm being selfish, particularly doing it at the moment when money is so tight, so I think that's pretty much put an end to it. He's right, I can't be thinking about myself right now and I do need to consider how something like this affects the family as a whole. It's a lovely dream, but as people have pointed out, it would take years before it started paying for itself. DS is 15 so he may well be already starting uni before I finish mine. It's not really reasonable to want this for myself.