I made a total fool of myself didn't I?

[turquisie]

Two years ago I was so so so desperate with my ex.
I allowed him to pick me up and throw me back,hurt me repeatedly,rub my nose in who he was chatting too and sleeping with.
He broke my heart and I was practically begging him to pick me.
Anyway fast forward and I'm in a good relationship and have been for a year and I'm happy.
I just seen him today in the supermarket and my heart sunk ..I'm so embarrassed how I let him treat me ..well I actually I was a Willing participant.
Did I totally make a fool of myself?

We all do things we regret. Especially when we are vulnerable.

you sound like you’ve moved on. Don’t give your creep of an ex anymore head space.

It was 2 years ago, you’ve been happy with someone else for a year, you’ve moved on. I can’t see what good this post will do you, just put it behind you were it belongs. Everyone has regrets in life, you didn’t do anything wrong, leave it in the past.

Its difficult to under-estimate the powers of practised manipulators. They can make otherwise sensible people do silly things. Some of them are really skilled in it. Its him who has made a fool of himself through his behaviour I'd say.

We all have our battlefields. How quickly you learn your self worth is of no matter. Only that you did in the end.
Be proud of life's lessons which you successfully learned

I have been in similar situations . Sometimes I get angry with myself at being a doormat but mostly just get on with life, oh and learn from experience!!

Doesn’t really matter now it’s in the past I would forget it

I haven't thought about it for ages until I bumped into him (and quickly legged it down the meat aisle ) I'm a vegetarian!

Please don't give this anymore thought, you can't change it so don't worry about it.

Most people have done the pick me dance at sometime in their life. Sometimes you have to go through these things to learn, you look back now and realise what you did was wrong so just see it as a life lesson that you know not to repeat. Remember he was the one who treated you badly, not the other way around.

I've been there, most people I know have to some degree. I look back now and I cringe at how desperately I wanted my ex to love me that way I loved him. I have to remind myself to not feel embarrassed, the other party who treated you so horribly should be embarrassed. I also think we gross how did I get so sucked in by such a loser!

I’ve had that before but after the internalised embarrassment wears off you realise how vulnerable you were then, how you have become so much stronger and you swear to yourself you will not allow yourself to be like that again. It’s so easy to see with hindsight but when you’re in it it is so difficult to see. Be proud - not embarrassed.

How many times have we all said to ourselves, if only I knew then what I know now. All you can do is learn from the experience. I know I look back at a long term boyfriend and cringe - he was a definite emotional gaslighter and displayed other rather unpleasant behaviours that I assumed was all my fault until I got a bit older and wiser.

You're not the one who should feel shame, are you?

I am glad you are in a much better place now x

If I told you the amount of shit two of my exes put me through (teens and early 20s) you'd be mortified for me. Even their friends used to laugh at me, I was such an unbelievable doormat. Especially with the first. I still can't believe it was me who allowed myself to be treated like that, fast forward to now (late 30s) I don't take one bit of shit from anyone and am a strong, independent woman. I would wipe the floor with either of those fuckers now. Ironically they both begged me back years down the line after I'd spent the best part of a decade in total wanting them to love me. Don't worry about it mate you have learned and you are stronger - we are what people make us x