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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think women should have more help with periods by now - it's 2022

22 replies

concernedrepurplehouse · 31/05/2022 11:38

I have a young colleague off sick with cramps and vomiting and unable to come into work. I'm grateful that she has told us what's going on as it explains an absence pattern.

However, it seems crazy that in 2022 there's no medical help available for her. Surely she shouldn't have to suffer like this every month.

It will inevitably make her career path harder as well given the demands of our profession/of clients,etc. So there's that.

AIBU to think there must be specialists who could help her with this? Is it a question of shouting louder? Or is this just an inevitable part of some women's lives?

OP posts:

Onlyhuman123 · 31/05/2022 11:40

She needs to speak with her doctor to see what options she has; is she prepared to go on the pill to help reduce the amount of periods she has? the pill would help but I know not all women are happy or able to take it.

Imaginary · 31/05/2022 11:40

Oh it's just women's problems, so who cares.
/sarcasm.

bridgetreilly · 31/05/2022 11:45

She could also ask about tranexamic acid.

Original poster

concernedrepurplehouse · 31/05/2022 11:54

I was thinking there must be solutions.... but it's not my place to say. And I'm not sure if she realises she is important enough/her job is important enough that this needs addressing iyswim.

OP posts:

BigWoollyJumpers · 31/05/2022 11:54

There are a lot of treatment options, but as a pp says, and posters have mentioned on other threads, they don't want to take them!

For some women, of course, the cause is more serious, needing more investigation and treatment, like Endometriosis, which does need your GP to take seriously, and refer to consultants. That can be very difficult to access, but shouldn't be, and needs to be taken seriously.

lanthanum · 31/05/2022 11:59

Definitely worth checking whether she has talked to her doctor, and whether they have been helpful or dismissive. I wouldn't guarantee that everyone realises that there may be medication that can help - I think often what they hear is "lots of people get period pain - take some painkillers". If her doctor isn't helpful, I wonder whether occupational health can advise?

BiscoffSundae · 31/05/2022 12:16

When I went to the gp they only suggested the coil which no I am not happy to have!

DifficultBloodyWoman · 31/05/2022 12:34

You describe her as a ‘young colleague’.

Would you be able to speak to her from the position of an older woman who has been there and done that and understands the Kay of the land? Can you strongly encourage her to go to the doctor and advocate (also strongly) for herself?

It is shit that women have to put up with being dismissed repeatedly, accept pain, and only access treatment after years (literally years) of begging for help.

Diagnoses are hard to get but treatments exist. Please, try to support her through this and help her find treatment.

Footgoose · 31/05/2022 13:53

My first year med student DD and her friend told me they are not concentrating on the menstrual cycle as part of exam revision. It’s way to complicated to to get grips when there is so much else to learn and it’s only worth 5 marks. Apparently, this is fairly standard approach to revision by year one students . I remarked it’s probably part of the problem women face getting reasonable medical attention. for menstrual problems!

Whatwouldscullydo · 31/05/2022 14:02

How do you know she hasn't spoken to the drs already?

She maybe unable to take the pill. I certainly didn't get on with it I was bleeding all the time while taking it. She may also be unable to have a coil. I was advised against that also.

I wouldn't blame her for not wanting to go the coil route given how difficult it is fir women to be able to get coils and implants removed once they have been put in.

She may already be part way through investigations. Doesn't endo on average take 7 years to get diagnosed?

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 31/05/2022 14:06

Onlyhuman123 · 31/05/2022 11:40

The pill did the opposite for me, I was bleeding every day for 9 months until I came off it

PurpleButterflyWings · 31/05/2022 14:13

100% agree. It's not called 'The Curse' for nothing. Periods are fucking vile, and I know a number of women whose lives are badly impacted by them. Painkillers, the coil, and the pill is all women are ever offered. If none of the above works for you, tough shit sugar tits.

pinkpirlie · 31/05/2022 16:25

As well has having better access to medical advice, workplaces should be more accepting and flexible to the fact that many women have to go through this monthly and it shouldn't impact her career.
If they need to say, work from home under a duvet for a day once a month, work fewer hours whilst feeling particularly poorly, insert other options, this should be facilitated with no detrimental impact on someone's reputation.
There are so many ways women are disadvantaged, this shouldn't be one of them.

Sceptre86 · 31/05/2022 16:34

There is treatment for the nausea, treatment for pain but this can vary hugely. Stronger painkillers have unpleasant side effects, she might not suffer any side effects, she might suffer many. Tramexamix acid is unlikely to be prescribed if you suffer migraines or have a history of blood clots in the family. Being on the mini pill doesn't mean your periods will stop, mine haven't. Many stronger painkillers cause drowsiness so can't be used if you are driving, they can cause sickness so you would need an anti-emetic. That is if you are able to find a sympathetic Gp who understands how debilitating it is for you and agrees to prescribe. This is unfortunately not very common in some areas and endo diagnosis takes time.

turningpoint · 31/05/2022 16:52

She could also be trying to conceive so unable to take the pill, and possibly unable to take certain painkillers.

LemonLymanDotCom · 31/05/2022 17:11

She needs to keep at the doctors, persistence and not taking the brush off is key. Also, might be worth her trying acupuncture, it has been incredibly helpful in getting my endo symptoms under control.

neverbeenskiing · 31/05/2022 17:16

She may well have already seen a doctor. In fact she may have seen several. I say this because started telling GP's about my periods (extremely heavy, lasting 10-14 days and so painful I pass out, vomit and can barely stand at times) when I was a teenager. I'm now 37 and only got a GP to take me seriously and make a specialist referral two years ago.

Prior to this I was prescribed meds that were supposed to reduce the flow and painkillers but they didn't help much unfortunately. I also tried various forms of contraception that I was told should stop my periods but continued to bleed through them all.

The outcome of the GP referral was that I had some investigations and now have a confirmed diagnosis of endometriosis that was over a year ago and still no sign of any effective treatment.
I have been waiting 7 months now to be reviewed by a consultant, they keep sending me appointment letters and then cancelling with "backlog due to covid" given as the reason. Meanwhile my symptoms, and their impact on my work and relationships get worse and worse. As I write this I have been bleeding continuously for almost 3 months and am in pain a lot of the time. I am desperately trying not to let it interfere with my job but its becoming impossible. I had to take a few days off last month because I was in so much pain I could barely walk and was unable to eat or sleep.

By all means, OP, have a conversation with your colleague. She may be really grateful for the opportunity to talk about it. Just keep in mind she may already be doing everything she can to avoid taking time off work.

GodspeedJune · 31/05/2022 17:18

Yanbu, periods that are painful enough to interfere with normal life are not normal. That being said, it took 15 years for me to be diagnosed with endometriosis despite repeated GP & hospital appts about my heavy, painful periods.

Calafsidentity · 31/05/2022 17:26

Get yourself a copy of 'Period' by Emma Barnett op.

www.endometriosis-uk.org/endometriosis-facts-and-figures

Original poster

concernedrepurplehouse · 01/06/2022 15:14

Sounds like the consensus is that it’s ok for me to open the conversation so long as I don’t make prior assumptions that she hasn’t tried.

it will affect her career.

shocked by that endometriosis link!

OP posts:

Toottooot · 01/06/2022 15:17

Out of interest - what job does she do that periods are having an impact on being so important.

BotCrossHuns · 01/06/2022 15:35

Just be sympathetic and assume that she has tried everything when/if you have conversation with her. Then if she hasn't, you can hope she might then seek more help.

I had terrible pain that caused vomiting, migraines, dizziness/room spinning, went dead white, shaky legs etc, but only about every 3-4 months - it would build up in the months before, so I never knew when the awful one would be. It was about 8 hours of hell, really severe pain, a bit like contractions on a cyclical basis. Painkillers made little difference, and tranexamic acid/mefanamic acid both made me vomit more in reaction. Migraine tablets sometimes helped the pain/dizziness, the ones that go under the tongue, but there's still no way I could have worked when 'spaced out' like that. I'd tried the pill, but didn't really get on without other side effects, and with migraine-type pain, you can't take all of them. Nobody ever offered the coil or anything, but again I don't think that would have been a good solution knowing how hard it is to get them taken out. And when it was only every 3-4 months, it would have been a bit extreme.

Eventually improved as I got into my late 20s.

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