I'm really struggling with my DH at the moment. I feel like I'm just communicating with him (or at least trying to) whereas he sees it as nagging and is ignoring me a lot.
The last few days, he's been struggling with his mood as he has a long term problem with anxiety and depression. I would say there are also elements of bipolar. However, I've seen him communicating fine with other people in the last few days, it's just me.
He's blanking me a lot of the time. He seems to be in his own head a lot and I am aware of this and of course, make allowances for the stress he's going through. But this mood has been going on for days now and it's hard. He's always engrossed in his phone as he wants to escape his own mind I think but this makes him even more detached. It's not like I'm even asking him to do anything always and I'm not talking to him all the time.
We both work in schools so have half term this week. I took the children out yesterday so he had time to himself (we have a 3 yo and 10 old). When I came back, I needed to do some jobs and asked him to pick up dd who was crying. DH said he'd do it but didn't, carried on gardening. So I asked again and he said he was just putting a plant in. Then he just ignored me. I then got annoyed and yes probably nagged because I thought, what's more important, the plant or the crying baby at this moment.
On another occasion the other day, I told him something really cute and articulate our 3 yo ds had said and DH didn't even acknowledge me at all and said something completely different and irrelevant.
Admittedly he's not like this all the time and our relationship is good on the whole but when his mood drops, the communication does too. But I just hate how he ignores and blanks me when he's like this. Is this unreasonable of me? If he was doing it to anyone else (which he doesn't) they'd think he was being rude quite likely. So why me? And it is targeted at me. I feel like he's taking his stress out on someone and I'm the closest person.
The problem is, I then get uptight and it creates more tension. I try to stay calm with it but I can't be totally silent around him when he's like this, we have a young family and need to function and that takes some communication. So now, because he won't talk to me and I'm getting frustrated, we're going our separate ways today with a child each when it really should be half term family time.