To wonder if I am autistic?

[Amautistic]

Reposted from Sen forum, as not received a single response

I've name changed for this as it's a sensitive topic. I haven't spoken to anyone at all about this.

I have one autistic child, and a second who is likely so too, undergoing assessment

Since receiving a diagnosis for my first child, I have done a lot of reading and am wondering whether I am autistic too.

I have read lots of experiences where parents themselves realise they are autistic following their children's diagnoses.

I'm wondering whether one of my parents is autistic too (they aren't diagnosed either, they are of a generation when few were).

My reasons for wondering is that I have always struggled socially. I had no friends on occasions as a child. I tried to make friends, and still do, but seem to not be able to solidify or maintain many friendships, despite my best efforts. I don't understand why I can't do so.

I personally struggle with unpredictably and noise too. I find even the noise of my children quite distressing often.

On the other hand, I am a reasonable communicator (I work in a job that requires this, and a lot of it). If I am autistic, I must be good at masking. I did very well academically at school, and was also well behaved at school.

I'm in my mid 30s. I imagine there would be little benefit in seeking a diagnosis currently, but it is something that is playing on my mind.

I'm autistic, found out in my late 40s. I now know why things are difficult for me but easy for others.

I wonder about this too. I haven’t pursued diagnosis, but I’ve found it helpful to quietly acknowledge to myself that my brain doesn’t seem to work in the same ways as a lot of other people’s. Sometimes the differences are useful, sometimes they’re not. For the times the differences aren’t useful, I’ve accepted that it’s okay to make allowances for myself and take actions that help to make things easier.
I have Flare Calmer ear things for when things get too loud (they don’t block out the sound, but they attenuate some of the tinnier frequencies which helps for me). Noise cancelling headphones might also be an option depending on your circumstances.

There's a bunch of us on the neurodiverse mumsnetters board, including many who have had a late diagnosis (I was 50). Come and talk to us!

Quite possibly!
Come over to the neurodiverse mumsnetters board. Loads of great women on there and lots of interesting posts.