AIBU to think it sucks to be a woman sometimes

[JackFellDown]

I have a just turned 2 year old who has additional needs. I have a husband who works nights and I currently have a broken, yes broken, coccyx. Child doesn’t sleep much nor does she let me sleep. I can’t take my pain meds because I won’t wake up for DD during the night. I can’t sleep even when she is because the pain is so intense. Currently in bed crying at 12:15am because I feel like I can’t take this pain anymore. Sometimes it really sucks to be the mother in the house because it means I have to put myself last. I know some dads to the same but obviously I don’t have any experience of being a dad so 🤷🏻‍♀️ I really don’t know how I’ve been running the house for the last week but I think it’s catching up on me. I feel done

Oh and to top it off I’m due to start my period so I’ll have cramps to deal with too. Fantastic.

Can your DP give you a break when he's not working? And to answer your question, yes it does.

He’s been trying but as he works 12 -14 hour shifts he comes home, gives me an hour, eats and gets some sleep before his next shift again. He said he will see if his mum can have DD tomorrow night. We can’t afford for him to take unpaid time off either as I’m unable to go to work right now.

Can you afford nursery or a child minder for a couple of days/ half days per week?

In a nutshell, yes. I really feel for you, OP. Women, across millennia and all continents, would agree. As a class, under patriarchy, women have it rough. Individual women may be fine, but as a cohort not so much.

That sucks. I feel for you. Could paracetamol or an over the counter painkiller take some of the pain off for now?

Can you ring your Mum, sister or a close female friend tomorrow for a chat/ cry and some emotional support? Could you call the GP tomorrow for some pain relief that doesn't knock you out? And yes, life gets way harder with kids. Kids, no sleep and pain is off the scale.

We spoke to a local nursery who said she can only start the new term after her birthday which will be September. . I think I’ll try calling around to cleaners and babysitters tomorrow to see if I can get anyone in to help with housework and DD for now x

I’ll have to ring someone for a chat tomorrow. My parents are one of those “prayer is the answer to everything” kind of people so they’re out of the question. To be honest I didn’t even think about an OTC. I’m currently on diazies, cocodomol and neproxen so tbh I get why it knocks me out. Lol

Broken coccyx pain is awful, op, I've been there

If you've not already dosed with painkillers and these aren't otherwise contraindicated for you, can you take both paracetamol and ibuprofen?

You need to space the doses 6 hours apart iirc, doing this, but taken together they make a super painkiller- so much more effective than just paracetamol or just ibuprofen. Should take the edge of your period pain too.

Also, have a cup of tea if taking paracetamol as caffeine helps speed up its absorption.

Obviously don't know your own medical circumstances/history etc and check patient leaflet etc etc but doubling up paracetamol and ibuprofen really helps me when I'm in severe pain.

Then tomorrow, either see if you can get a prescription for something stronger (i used codeine) or look at solpadine from chemist (includes codeine) if youre ok to take it. Codeine also helped me sleep when id broken my coccyx.

A rolled up towel/jacket/jumper/blanket tucked under upper thighs can help relieve the pressure on your coccyx too. When sitting, you can also shape them into a horseshoe shape with the opening at your spine.

Oh and see a woman's physio who specialises in pelvic injury - they'll put together a programme specifically designed to repair the damage and is the only thing that helped me in the long term.

It'll get better, I promise x

This isn’t helpful in the slightest, but I’m sending you a lot of love. Wish I could come and help with your two year old and clean a bit for ya. Take care of yourself

It's the thing no one told me. The unrelenting nature of motherhood. You never get time off, not really. And not ever again. You always might be needed. I have no family support and although DH is great, it is constant.

All the sympathy to you. I hope you feel better soon.

for now they have me on cocodomol, diazepam and naproxen. I called GP yesterday and after an hour of trying to get through all appointments had gone so I need to try again today. They said naproxen is stronger than ibuprofen but obviously once the bone starts to heal I can move onto ibuprofen and paracetamol. I fell from the top of the stairs so it was really quite the fall. I’ll definitely try the blanket method as it’s extremely painful trying to get up, sit down or lay down. How long was it til you recovered? It’s only been a week but I feel like it’s been forever x

Thank you. It’s definitely the one thing no one prepared me for.

Thank you. You’re very kind x

Naproxen and co codamol shouldn't make you too sleepy. It's the diazepam that's doing that. So I'd only cut that one down. And ask of you can go onto dihydrocodeine instead of co codamol as its stronger. You can buy it as paramol OTC if necessary but the prescription one is higher dose.
Good luck. Ir sounds awful. 💐

Don't take ibuprofen as you've got naproxen. That definitely shouldn't make you sleepy and you should keep taking it regularly so it works properly.

Cocodamol makes me sleep deeper, I would struggle to get up too. You could try just one and one paracetamol? Make sure you aren't taking too much paracetamol.