To have no idea how to heal from CPTD/childhood emotional neglect?

[hytrgfbht]

I have done a lot of reflection and journaling into my past. I understand myself a lot more as a product on my upbringing, and I can trace back things like my tendency to people please back to specific events in my childhood that I believe triggered the behaviour I have in the present day. My issue is I'm now like - now what? How are you supposed to use this knowledge and understanding to help improve your life?

AIBU to feel lost?

Most people will tell you that talking therapy is the best way forward and it might well be. You should absolutely try it.
For me, talking therapy actually made me feel worse as it seemed like too much dwelling on things and giving myself permission to feel sorry for myself, for me that didn't feel like a good thing.

Are there any particular behaviours you want to change?

Im sbout to start theraoy again...

Theres a book I want to work through to do s
With cptsd too.

Therapy. But it needs to be the right sort. Talking is important to process, but you also need somebody who will help you take practical action and teach skills, such as how to regulate your nervous system.

Talking alone won't be enough. Practical tools alone (CBT) won't be enough. You need someone integrative who will cover the right bases.

I empathise with you on this - and also that feeling of looking back sometimes and realising how things might have been if I had even just been aware of the childhood wounds I was carrying (we were raised to think even acknowledging events was being ‘over-sensitive’ … denial, minimising, all the usual).

This might sound a strange recommendation but I’ve had quite a few lightbulb moments while watching Anna Runkle, The Crappy Childhood Fairy, on YouTube. She also suffered childhood trauma and just ‘gets it’, but in a practical and helpful way re moving forward. I particularly like her idea of ‘crap fitting’ which is what we tend to do as people pleasers who will bend over backwards to accommodate all sorts of crap in our lives! She also thinks talking about it too much, so potentially remaining stuck in the past, makes it worse (that’s just me paraphrasing, though).

Hope you find what you need and YANBU of course.

Therapy did not work for me because it brought out things which made me feel worse. All of my life I have wondered why I was treated this way and it has eaten away at me. When I was younger I really thought I was different to other people. I had a hard time talking to adults and always felt as if anything I ever did was not good enough.
When I got older, relationships at work were sometimes strained because of self doubt.
Then I had children and knew I would not treat them the way I was treated. I relaxed. These days I look back at my younger self and wish I had not felt so uncomfortable. I had to teach myself to open up and stop being so serious.
I'm OK these days because i know I am OK.
I think you have to learn to love yourself and then the rest will fall into place

This is why I’m scared to start therapy when my life is in bits. Could I pm you

I was having therapy but I was just going round in expensive circles.

Then somebody on here mentioned this book and it's frankly amazing and Ives you practical things to do to change.

I'm also doing EFT tapping therapy and feeling more positive that can move on having been stuck for years.

This book!

The right sort of therapy...DBT and EMDR both very good for complex trauma.

Absolutely you can!
I'm working funny hours and it's half term so if I'm slow to reply please bear with me x

I'm having in depth psychoanalytic therapy. It made me feel worse initially, but sometimes that needs to happen in order to heal. That might not be always though but it is very common.
There are loads of good books.
'Doctor Snipes' on YouTube and similar like the aforementioned crappy childhood fairy are brilliant.
I'm actually surprised that YouTube has been so useful.
'Ask Kati' Kati Morton on YouTube is fantastic and very gentle.
'I am enough' book available on amazon is very good. It is by an incredible woman called Marisa Peer.
I hope you find what you want xxxx