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AIBU?

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VENT.... BREAKDOWN?

2 replies

3Sheetstothewind · 30/05/2022 20:55

I apologise in advance if I never reply on this thread but thank you for reading..... Its a long one! 💞💞💞💞I've nobody to talk to and I am so desperate to vent..... Slag me off....do what you like! I know I'm a fucking mug! ... OH is useless (away most of the working week (working!) ).... I love my little girl to pieces..... But...... I can't cope anymore..... . I've made a monster (she's genuinely lovely but i just cannot do it 24/7)....had a stillborn at 30 weeks in 2015 (I didnt want him until he had passed and I've never really admitted that to anyone......I'm a firm believer of everything happening for a reason..... Which I dont think I've ever really forgiven myself for)...... DD arrives....(now 6)... I love her, so so much and she wants for nothing but since first lockdown I'm not coping with anything, the house, with partner of 16 years (honestly... I need to leave but can't.... No abuse but just a fucking waste of oxygen, lazy etc )..... I have a suspicion that I'm on some sort of spectrum..... I can take or leave people/friends (HATE being hounded/socialising unless pissed....).....my idea of a perfect day is alone.... Not talking.... Doing what i feel like..... Anyway, since first lockdown my office haven't wanted me back, I've been working from home ever since (full time).... Partner thinks that because I'm home all day i can do everything (cooking, cleaning, washing, school runs every day)..... wouldn't mind but this assumption is carried on even at the weekend when he's at home..... Its his "day off"....when the fuck is my day off????...why doesn't he want to spend time with his DD.....when can I just be ALONE.... And god forbid.... Feel like i can sit alone in the front room with the remote control to watch what i would like to watch.... Without running commentary or hollars of "mummy" from the stairs....the response "let's go to your parents (5 hours away) , they can have DD whilst we go visit people (i hate visiting, having to make a fucking effort to pretend everything is amazing.....can't even moan about small person overload as they are all TTC and it makes me feel like an ungrateful C*) "..... OMG I've just read all this back to myself and i think I'm having a breakdown!!!!!! I will feel better in the morning but fuck me anyone else ever felt the same? (already on Sertraline before anyone mentions it!)

OP posts:
ENoeuf · 30/05/2022 20:58

You are not alone thinking this and you do need to talk to your dh to get some of the load taken off you. I recognise a lot from the early years. Talk to someone you trust even if it's toddler group for half a morning and you'll feel less alone. And if you feel maybe there's more going on have a look at neurodiversity and women.

BadWolf2022 · 30/05/2022 21:05

Book yourself a hotel tell your OH your nipping shop and be back soon LEAVE DD THERE.

And take the evening in hotel yourself.

He will have no choice but to cope and step up.

If that fails leave him.

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