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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU? My mum.

8 replies

NoGoodUsernamee · 30/05/2022 20:44

When I was a teenager my mums then boyfriend was quite vile to me. He was well educated and came from money (although had none himself after a divorce), we were ‘poor.’ He moved into our council home.

He would always try to make me look stupid or common. He would refer to me as a ‘fat girl’ (I was chubby at most) especially when my friends were round and just tried to humiliate me generally.

Example - ‘You’re the only fat girl I know NoGood.’

I would always try and bite back but it crippled my self esteem. My mum would never say anything at all. However far he went not once did she ever say ‘that’s enough now.’

I have daughters of my own now and the thought of anyone talking to them like that makes me red with rage. Just imagining it happening to them breaks my heart.

I forget about it but when I remember I feel so angry. Me & my mum are quite close now. But AIBU to think she should of stuck up for me then?

OP posts:
FlissyPaps · 30/05/2022 20:47

Obviously YANBU OP.

What a vile man. Was he abusive in any way to your mother? (Not that it excuses it).

If any man spoke to me or my children like that and referred to as “fat” they’d be out. No questions asked.

NoGoodUsernamee · 30/05/2022 20:49

@FlissyPaps love your username 😂
No abuse what so ever. She left him quickly and without worry when she met someone else. So definitely no fear!

OP posts:
NoGoodUsernamee · 30/05/2022 20:50

He was vile. As an adult now I can see what a miserable bitter person he was.

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 30/05/2022 20:52

Yes, of course she should have stuck up for you. And he shouldn't have been such an arsehole in the first place.

40andlols · 30/05/2022 21:03

no man would survive calling my child names

NoGoodUsernamee · 30/05/2022 21:04

@40andlols good for you (& your children.) Genuinely!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 30/05/2022 21:05

Your mother failed you and I'm sorry that happened. All she had to do was tell him to leave, and she didn't.

Liz1tummypain · 20/11/2022 13:04

Aquamarine1029 · 30/05/2022 21:05

Your mother failed you and I'm sorry that happened. All she had to do was tell him to leave, and she didn't.

Exactly. Spot -on.
Sorry you've got these awful memories, OP.

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