Is it intimate to give a colleague a jacket?

[doadeer]

Debate in my house tonight.

Work event, outside waiting for a taxi to arrive, it's taking a while. It's winter, cold, raining.

Male colleague gives female colleague his coat to wear, as he had a blazer on too and she had a thin dress and Cardigan.

Is this an intimate thing? To accept a coat from a male collegue? Or is this totally normal and you wouldn't feel weird in any way? And just a gentlemanly thing to do?

I wouldn't consider it intimate, just kind.

Gentlemanly.
I wouldn’t think my colleague was being intimate if he gave me his jacket & it’s the sort of thing DH would do for a colleague he was on friendly terms with. Obviously if I was there he would give it me, but I wouldn’t think anything of him giving it to a female colleague if it was a works night out.

I wouldn’t accept a colleague’s jacket unless I was laying unconscious on the pavement!

Agree. Not weird, just kind.

😂yes this, but old fashioned/gentlemanly I would be touched that they offered but wouldn't accept.

I don't think so. It's not the intimate gesture it once was. I quite often pinch my colleagues fleece when I go to drag the bins back down the yard. He nicks mine too occasionally but he doesn't really rock the stripey cardigan.

It's 100% something men do in films when they're in love.

If Bob in accounting said, "it's brass monkeys Terry, you're dressed like a twat, wear this" it would be a little different.

But life is never this simple. They work together. Probably see each other everyday. He would probably see her more than his wife. Depends if there was already some kind of unspoken relationship between them. I wouldn't be happy with my DP giving his jacket with his smell all over it to such a woman

No just a kind thing to do

Depends if the man takes his off and starts to wrap it round the female colleague without asking her. I’d find it quite creepy.

But if the male colleague notices the female shivering and says “You look freezing, do you want to shove this on while the taxi comes”? And passes it to her, so she can put it on herself - then definitely not intimate. Just a kind and thoughtful thing to do.

It can just be kind - my boss once lent me his jacket in a meeting, the room was freezing and I was feeling under the weather with only a thin cardigan to keep me warm. Honestly didn't think anything of it except him being nice.

Actually, to clarify, it was his suit jacket rather than his coat he lent me.

Suit jackets are definitely a no no. Look at the Obamas!!!!

Exactly this.

I think it’s an intimate gesture, yes.

Nope. I’ve borrowed fleeces from both male and female colleagues at work when it’s cold. Only intimate if it’s wrapped lovingly around someone else.

Yes, I would consider this quite intimate and I would probably only wear DH's jacket, no one else's TBH.

Depends on context. If it's like a scene from a romantic movie then yy inappropriate. If it's 'here you go, you numptie, it's baltic,' - not so romantic.

I gave a colleague a sunhat once (working overseas - very high temps and I could use my pashmina as a head covering) ... now I'm wondering if I inadvertently got engaged.

Would the man offer his jacket to a cold looking male colleague? That’s my test for whether something is appropriate. If you wouldn’t do it with your male colleagues you shouldn’t do it with your female colleagues.

Thanks everyone. Been reading all your replies out loud. DP feels vindicated haha.

It originated when I told DP I wouldn't accept a jacket from a colleague, as I find people's smells quite personal. He said it was an innocent gesture, I know it would have been by him but I would feel uncomfortable accepting if I had been the female colleague. I would only wear a jacket from a male family member myself.

I think it's kind but also intimate. I've only ever had this offer from interested men.

You know what, men are allowed to be kind to women without them wanting to shag each other!

It’s just kind!

This is a very good test IMO.

I've loaned jackets/hoodies to male and female colleagues over the years, don't want to sleep with them though.

My colleague gave me his coat recently, he was wearing a jumper, I was freezing, he chucked it at me, I definitely accepted.
It's a kind thing to do.
I would also give a colleague my coat if they were cold.