To be pissed off with my ex

[HerRoyalHappiness]

Quick back story, was with ex for 12 years 3 kids, I'm now disabled and severely mentally ill, I had an abortion of twins based on medical advice at 6 weeks and 3 days as my conditions would worsen and I'd have to come off my meds.

He had the youngest two DC over to sleep last night (8 and 6, the oldest refuses to see him due to abuse of me that he witnessed) well he's dropped them home and DD (8) pipes up "why didn't you have the twins mummy?"

I asked her what she meant and she told me "daddy said you had twins in your tummy but you didn't want them so they died"

So now I've had to try and explain to an 8 year old and a 6 year old that it wasn't that I didn't want them but the doctors told me I wasn't allowed them. Fucking prick telling them. They're far too young to understand what abortion is or why I chose it. I'm so angry with him right now.

I've asked him what he was playing at and he told me that she had asked about the two little cherub ornaments he has to remember them by...

Sorry, posted too soon. So AIBU to call him a selfish bastard and tell him now was not the right time to tell the children something that I found so traumatic I have CPTSD from?

He should have been far more tactful.

Unfortunately he's an abusive twat. I wouldn't bother speaking to him at all as he clearly doesn't give a damn about you or the kids - and will probably delight in the fact that he has added to your trauma.
I'd take detailed notes of the incident and any others that happen so you have some evidence to stop him seeing them when he takes it too far.

What an absute cunt. I hate that word but god he is one. Is he usually emotionaly abusive? My stupid ex reappeared after years of being absent and told our then 12 year old how I was originally going to abort him! In his head I think it made him feel less of shit dad. Hope you are OK x

Absolute*

Don’t engage with him at all.

but I’d certainly keep a diary of events and inform any relevant parties should matters deteriorate further.

I am keeping notes on everything with times and dates of when I'm told, who by and what he's said about it when asked. Like when he took the children on a first date... luckily she was a no show but he'd told them to be on best behaviour so that she thought daddy was nice. 🙄 I'm just waiting for him to fuck up majorly. Then I can tell him to get fucked and take me to court.