Teenagers!!

[aimslou]

Do your 13 year olds just decide where they are going and not ask? Am I being unreasonable to expect my 13 dd to ask me to go somewhere before she actually goes? Am I asking too much??

No, you aren't asking too much.
My 13 yr olds didn't go wherever they wanted whenever they wanted. They certainly didn't go anywhere without asking first.

No you’re not being unreasonable. My teenagers, older than yours, always come and ask. Just like if I go out, I tell everyone where I’m going. Just manners really? So no, you are not being unreasonable one bit.

Up to 15 they ask, from 16 upwards they check/inform.

I don't think you are asking too much - for safety sake if for no other reason. A parent should know where a 13 year old is and if plans change you should be informed. Imagine if they went missing and you had to say to the police oh no I have no idea what time they left the house or where they went.

My 13 yo dd tells me she’s going to x’s house just round the corner or the local shop with a friend. I usually tell her if it isn’t ok - this would generally be when it’s getting late and isn’t safe. She got cross recently as I has organised something on Sunday when she made plans to go to town with friends. I told her she would either be doing the planned and paid for activity or staying at home. Apparently I should ask her first. 🤬 As the child, she needs to learn to ask if something is ok rather than just expect it is.

My 15 year old will often go to a friends or the local mall after school and he just texts me to say "I'm at x's house" or "I'm at the mall". So long as he lets me know where he is I have no problem with that. If he is home he will say, "Is it ok if I go to..."
My youngest is 12 though and if he wants to go anywhere after school he knows he has to ring and ask first.