I’ve got a friend and she’s being made to feel guilty, I believe unnecessarily, by her in-laws. I’d just like see if there’s something I’m not grasping so I thought I’d ask you lovely people for your opinion and try and bullet the relevant facts…
DF (friend) has been with her DH for 7 years, married for 3 and has known DSS since he was 2 years old.
DF is (in my opinion) a great step mum and treats her DSS very well and they have a good relationship.
DF and her husband have DSS 50% of the time and have a more stable home environment than DSS’s mum (various fiancés, house moves, school moves etc).
DF had a baby about a year ago.
DSS has been on 90% ish of DF’s holidays. Abroad, this country etc.
DSS has poor attendance at school through both illness and mum taking them out for holidays in term time currently running about 75% attendance.
DF has been away once last summer with DSS and the baby (UK holiday) and is now furiously saving up for a big abroad holiday next year which DSS will be going on.
DSS spent last week (yes in term time) abroad on a Greek island AI holiday with his mum and her fella.
DSS gets at least 1 abroad holiday with his Mum annually.
The thing I’m asking about is that DF saw a great deal for a UK Monday to Friday holiday in October. Ordinarily would not be able to afford it but because it would just be her, DH and the baby it’s a smaller place and in term time it’s much much cheaper. She’s booked it. Her parents have agreed to look after DSS for the two nights they are normally with DF and take them to and pick them up from school (they also have a great relationship with DSS and this isn’t unusual for them to spend time with him).
Her In Laws have royally kicked off saying it isn’t fair and they shouldn’t be going anywhere without DSS.
I’ve said to her that what they are then saying is that her baby should miss out on anything where his big brother isn’t invited. Despite DSS actually being abroad on another holiday when this happened.
I don’t think she should feel guilty. AIBU?