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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you give up your plane seat?

224 replies

Tinkerblonde1 · 30/05/2022 12:01

https://www.heart.co.uk/lifestyle/man-refuses-swap-plane-seats-mum-baby/?fbclid=IwAR1sZIyQoCtwBcGd5iCtn7U6YLstt_H9sPDd9UkiSej-6Qwq2qWvvB0xqL4

It has been done before but with holidays happening again this seems to keep appearing over the last few weeks.

To me it depends but if its an airline where you pay for seats and you choose not to. Then surely its on you if you are seated away from husband/wife while you have the kids.

OP posts:
JudgeJ · 30/05/2022 14:22

Alwayshoovering · 30/05/2022 13:52

Entitled parents again, there have been so many of these threads recently from both sides.
If they were so desperate to sit together they should either have paid for 2 leg room seats necr to each other or offered someone from the husbands row behind an upgrade to the mothers extra leg room seat and she should have gone into the cramped seat behind .

There does seem to be an attitude that the very simple act of giving birth makes someone very very special and the world should revolve around them.

ganesha · 30/05/2022 14:29

I had something opp happen to me. I didn’t book so got put in a middle seat between a couple who had a baby which they just passed over me constantly. When I offered them my seat they said no!!!!

Mariposista · 30/05/2022 14:31

No, I wouldn’t. They should have organized themselves better or taken it in turns to hold the baby in separate rows.

JudgeJ · 30/05/2022 14:33

Daenerys77 · 30/05/2022 12:30

No. I need a window seat. It is my job to watch the wing and make sure it dosen't fall off.

You sound like my late OH, he would sit before take off giving me a run down on crashes involving this airline and/or model of aircraft, he was very popular! We once sat on the runway watching workmen with big hammers, or so it seemed, doing stuff to the wing, that was a bit disconcerting.

Tallulasdancingshoes · 30/05/2022 14:33

No way would I swap if I’d paid extra. I’m not paying for a stranger to have a better seat. I always pre- book so the dc and dh can sit together.

ErrolTheDragon · 30/05/2022 14:34

ganesha · 30/05/2022 14:29

I had something opp happen to me. I didn’t book so got put in a middle seat between a couple who had a baby which they just passed over me constantly. When I offered them my seat they said no!!!!

That's weird. Maybe they were hoping you'd try to find a seat elsewhere and then didn't feel they could back down.Confused

The last time I flew back from California, my seat was between a couple who rather sheepishly admitted they'd hoped the flight wouldn't be full so they could have all three. Obviously (as they were only mildly CFs who didn't actually want to inconvenience anyone else) they gave me the choice of window or aisle.

ganesha · 30/05/2022 14:38

That is exactly why they did it and I ended up moving but it was incredibly rude of them!

Change123today · 30/05/2022 14:40

I’ve recently booked a flight and the space where a bassinet goes wasn’t allocated but I didn’t book that I chose the seats to the side. I don’t want the risk to be sat next to parents on a long flight with a baby - been there done that! In the past when we had a baby, we booked two seats together with the baby- I’m completely assuming here but I guess they only paid for the one seat in the hope they could ask someone to move! That seems to be the case people are only paying for 1 or 2 seats in the hope the rest of their party sits with them. It’s annoying and I don’t know why the airlines dont just lump everyone together. I guess it’s a mixture of people booking seats that may mean they get split up - that’s the risk you take.
But I’ve always just paid to ensure we sat together- I have to cost that element in to get what I need!
A couple of years ago if I’m solo flying I don’t usually pay the extra - I was sat in between a couple - awkward! They had paid for the two seats hoping no one got the middle one!! It was fine I was happy to move to aisle seat when asked - but people really do try to push it at times!

NotaDiva · 30/05/2022 14:41

I love to travel but I do get claustrophobic on flights and have previously suffered panic attacks. The window seat definitely helps - I've had people question why as it's less "open" than an aisle but I find that I need to see outside and particularly when we are coming into land, need to track where we are, how far from the ground etc. I don't have a specific seat in mind - the cheaper the better. Don't care if I'm near the front or not; don't want any extra legroom (especially if by the emergency exit - far too much responsibility) so I'm probably not a prime candidate for a move but it did happen once - cabin crew approached DH and me to say that a family were scattered around and as we were two grown adults, we could probably sit apart. DH is a complete people pleaser and jumped up to move before I could respond - it was only when he looked back and saw my reaction that the consequences dawned on him. Needless to say, I had a panic attack, ended up on oxygen and DH moved back, much to the displeasure of the family who spent the rest of the flight loudly complaining that I'd been faking it.

These days, I board the aircraft ready to stand my ground. I'll happily move if DH and I can move and remain together and retain a window seat. At a push, if it's a visibly desperate situation involving an emergency, disabilities or a very young child with no other options, I'll forgo the window seat but absolutely need to stay with DH. For that reason, I wouldn't even consider taking a flight without prebooked seats and, emergencies aside, resent those who try to save a few bob at the expense of other travelers. My DSis is one of those - never pays to book seats because she knows that the crew won't separate her from her young child and "it will all work out".

AnnHedonia · 30/05/2022 14:41

From the article:

"Having a baby doesn’t automatically entitle you to whatever you want, especially because booking is in advance and they had ample time to do the same amount of planning as you."

Exactly this. The couple were CFs to even ask.

Iamclearlyamug · 30/05/2022 14:42

I absolutely wouldn't no matter what the situation - I have an extreme fear of flying and there are only 4 seats on a whole plan I'll sit in, so naturally I happily pay (sometimes a lot of money) to sit where I'm comfortable. People expecting others to swap because they were too stingy to pay the extra are so bloody entitled!

HeadOnShoulders · 30/05/2022 14:50

ErrolTheDragon · 30/05/2022 14:34

That's weird. Maybe they were hoping you'd try to find a seat elsewhere and then didn't feel they could back down.Confused

The last time I flew back from California, my seat was between a couple who rather sheepishly admitted they'd hoped the flight wouldn't be full so they could have all three. Obviously (as they were only mildly CFs who didn't actually want to inconvenience anyone else) they gave me the choice of window or aisle.

This is normally how it's done. I've done the same plenty of times. You book both ends, hoping the flight isn't full, and nobody wants to take the middle seats.

However, in case of a couple, it's only reasonable they offer to swap window or aisle with the middle. Passing stuff or holding a conversation over the middle seat is not on.

Awalkintime · 30/05/2022 14:50

Nope, one person's bad planning is not my crisis.

ProclivityForPyrotechnics · 30/05/2022 14:54

No. You pay for extra leg room seats. Having a child doesn't entitle you to anything. Pay for your own extra legroom seats if you want them..

Justmuddlingalong · 30/05/2022 14:55

Maybe when CF's ask, the correct reply should be "I'm open to offers, I'll let you start 1st with the negotiations."

Movinghouseatlast · 30/05/2022 14:58

No! If I've paid extra for a specific seat I will sit on it.

I used to fly twice a week for work and flying seems to change some people into absolute selfish cunts. The things I saw...

Penners99 · 30/05/2022 14:59

No chance. I have been asked in the past and said no. Unless there was an upgrade to Business or First Class on offer.

CantStartaFireWithoutaSpark · 30/05/2022 15:03

If I paid for the seat I was sitting in, absolutely not.
if it involves me being split from my friend/family, absolutely not.
Ryan air flight, nope! Either you pay extra or tough shit.
note I have a 1 year old and frequently fly with her and I still feel this way.

Glitterspy · 30/05/2022 15:04

No way.

Its actually better for the parents to be able to tag team and one of them (at any given time) be able to sleep away from the baby, if long haul.

Hadalifeonce · 30/05/2022 15:08

I don't believe cabin crew should ask, if the question has been posed and answered.

C152 · 30/05/2022 15:12

No, especially if I'd paid extra to sit in a particular seat. If the other family wanted to sit together, they should have paid, like everyone else.

Chocoqueen · 30/05/2022 15:14

If I was in a bog standard (non-aisle) seat, and DH was sat elsewhere, I would. But this is because we don't tend to pay to pick our seats and just sit wherever we're allocated (to be clear, we happily sit apart on flights - we're not cf who then ask others to move to accommodate us!).

However, in his position I absolutely wouldn't! They should have asked the the people sat on the row with her husband to move. I mean I might offer to sell it to them for an inflated price...

noirchatsdeux · 30/05/2022 15:14

God no.

As they saying goes "Your lack of planning is not my emergency"

I hate children on flights and if I had my way there would either be adult only flights or kids under 10 would be banned from flying. I fly regularly for work and had the rare occasion just this Sunday gone of being on a flight with no screaming babies. It was bliss.

ChocolateHippo · 30/05/2022 15:22

Everyone is ignoring the fact that, by not moving, he has to sit next to the baby.

I'm amazed so many people would pick sitting next to a baby over moving.

Yolojo · 30/05/2022 15:24

I'm a single woman and remember flying once and there was a group of middle aged-elderly adults sitting in a few rows around me. They kept loudly discussing the seating together "she's sitting on her own there, we could sit together" etc but they didn't actually ask me if I wouldn't mind moving, so I didn't. Tbh I get kind of fed up of being asked to move just because I'm on my own - I still have a right to sit where I want and not be shunted around by the whims of others. In this case, if I'd paid for extra legroom, on a long haul flight and sitting next to my partner there's no way I'd move.

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