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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel weird about workmen in house?

22 replies

lalaland22 · 30/05/2022 11:23

Partner and I are both at work today. We live in a private rental property. The shower in the main bathroom is being refitted today and the workmen will be there all day, landlord is letting them in. I feel weird that there are strange men in the house while no one is home. I don't know why. Do other people find this weird? Also when I get home from work do I need to talk to them or offer them a cup of tea or anything if they're still there? Or is it OK to just let myself in as normal and pretend they're not there...? I just feel a bit anxious about it all and probably overthinking it 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
lalaland22 · 30/05/2022 12:03

Just me then 🤣

OP posts:
Beautifulmonster87 · 30/05/2022 12:05

just be polite and offer them a cuppa then carry on what you were doing! My mum is abnormally anxious about this and makes it so awkward! Put yourself in their shoes!

Magenta82 · 30/05/2022 12:05

You are over thinking it, but I understand how you feel.

Offer a cup of tea if they are still there, it will make things less awkward.

In future you don't have to agree to have workmen in, the landlord can ask but you can refuse.

boatahoy · 30/05/2022 12:12

I hate having workmen in the house too but it's necessary. I find it so stressful. It's great when you find local workmen that you use time and time again so it feels more like leaving friends in your house rather than strangers.

Original poster
lalaland22 · 30/05/2022 12:37

Cup of tea it is then! 😃

Does anyone ever think workmen might be snooping through drawers etc? Or is that just my anxiety / paranoia? 🤣

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 30/05/2022 12:39

I’m sure no one will go through your drawers!

It is strange having people in your house both when you’re there and when you’re not. But it’s a means to an end!

im an introvert and hate having people there when I’m home but just have to get on with it if I want the job done. I prefer to be out tbh!

10HailMarys · 30/05/2022 12:40

Does anyone ever think workmen might be snooping through drawers etc?

They will not be remotely interested in snooping. They work in other people's houses every day of their lives; it's not new or exciting for them. They just want to get the job done as quickly as possible so they can go home. Don't worry about it!

TheOccupier · 30/05/2022 12:44

My work involves management of trades working in residential properties and I would never allow them to work unsupervised in my home or anyone else's! One of you should have arranged to work from home if possible or taken time off if not, or asked for the work to be done at a time when you could be there.

Original poster
lalaland22 · 30/05/2022 12:46

@TheOccupier

Can I ask why you wouldn't allow this? I'm worried now.

I can try to wfh tomorrow. The job will take a few days to complete apparently. My partner isn't able to do his job from home so it would have to be me. I don't even know if work will agree it.

OP posts:
Begoniasforever · 30/05/2022 12:48

Honestly they just want to get the job done and fuck off home. They have no desire to spend time snooping through your drawers.

PurpleButterflyWings · 30/05/2022 12:49

@lalaland22

You are definitely overthinking this. The vast majority of workmen just want to come into your house and do their job to the best of their ability in the shortest time possible, and then they just want to leave to get onto the next job. A lot of workmen are on time limits these days - by their employers - or if they're self employed they'll still be on time limits, because time is money for them.

What they want is for the person they're doing the work for to keep out of their way 90% of the time and let them get on with what they're doing. Be polite when they come in say 'hello nice weather blah blah blah,' offer them a cup of tea and maybe a couple of biscuits and then move away after three or four minutes and let them get on with their job. Maybe just touch base with them every half hour to 40 minutes or so to see how they're getting on and if they want another drink.

But yeah basically as I said - they just want to come in do their job and then just leave. They're certainly not going to be rummaging around in your knicker drawers, snooping in your kitchen draws. or looking in your wardrobe, or looking through your private paperwork.

LOL you don't have many work men in do you? Grin We've had quite a number of them over the years, and they are for the most part quite pleasant, and as I said quite happy to just get on with the job and be left alone 90 to 95% of the time. But do offer them a drink maybe every half an hour to 40 minutes depending on how long those are of course

PurpleButterflyWings · 30/05/2022 12:51

Sorry, last sentence should read...

'But do offer them a drink maybe every half an hour to 40 minutes depending on how long they're there of course...'

prettyteapotsplease · 30/05/2022 12:56

I find it unsettling and feel relieved when the job is done and they've left. I offer a cuppa and prefer to leave them to it unless I'm needed to answer a query. DH always went to work and muggins here was left to deal with it. The one time he was at home he suggested that we go out for the day so obviously he wasn't happy about it either. Your home is your castle after all and it feels like an intrusion.

StrangeCondition · 30/05/2022 13:13

PurpleButterflyWings · 30/05/2022 12:51

Sorry, last sentence should read...

'But do offer them a drink maybe every half an hour to 40 minutes depending on how long they're there of course...'

Every half hour/40 mins, really? I would have said once mid morning and once mid afternoon!

Helenahandkart · 30/05/2022 13:15

I work in other people’s homes (building trades-related). I’ve never seen anyone looking through drawers or snooping. All we ever want to do is crack on with the job and get on to the next one as soon as possible.
It’s great to be offered a cuppa, or shown where the kettle is, but then we just need to be left to get on with things.
Honestly, no one has the time to nose round your house.

BiscoffSundae · 30/05/2022 13:20

You do sound overly paranoid, I’m single so no oh to be around when work men come; I don’t think anyone actually enjoys having them in but I think it’s quite sad to only arrange to have them there if your oh is home, it’s fine, they are not going to do anything to you, you are in no danger and no they won’t be snooping through your drawers.

Mindymomo · 30/05/2022 13:21

My DH is a bathroom installer and usually doesn’t have time to do anything but work. It would have been best to be there when they started, just to let them know when you are going to be in, so that they know when they can turn off water and electrics. I would tell them where tea and kettle is, possibly biscuits, but not essential. If you don’t want them snooping, make sure you put stuff away, as people are only human and will look at things if left out. My DH has just about seen everything, some people even have cameras in their houses to check on tradespeople. I would also give them your phone number, if they cannot get hold of the owner.

Igmum · 30/05/2022 13:27

Yes it absolutely makes me feel uncomfortable but it's not their fault and the vast majority of the time they are very nice. I wouldn't arrange to work from home specifically - it's less stressful if you're not in!

Igmum · 30/05/2022 13:27

And on the bright side, after a few days of hassle you get a lovely new shower

TheOccupier · 30/05/2022 13:44

lalaland22 · 30/05/2022 12:46

@TheOccupier

Can I ask why you wouldn't allow this? I'm worried now.

I can try to wfh tomorrow. The job will take a few days to complete apparently. My partner isn't able to do his job from home so it would have to be me. I don't even know if work will agree it.

They may snoop. They may break/damage/nick things and you'll have no proof. They may dawdle or slack off and the whole job will take twice as long to be finished. They may slope off leaving a mess at the end of the day if they leave before you get home. Most workmen won't do any of this but some will if they think they can get away with it. On one occasion I inherited an almost-completed project where the builder already had a key, let myself in one day without telling anyone I was coming and found the builder's apprentice cuddled up on my client's furniture watching their TV with his girlfriend and a very large hairy dog, for whom they'd put down bowls of wet food and water.

Be at home!

Beachsidesunset · 30/05/2022 13:45

They're definitely not weeing in the sink.

Purrpurrpurr · 30/05/2022 16:41

I'm a gardener and other half is a decorator. We have both noticed over the years that people renting a home often feel 'invaded' by the presence of tradespeople, as though we are coming round to do the work against their will! Perhaps because boundaries feel invaded with landlord arranging things etc. Most trades want to do a good job, it can feel just as awkward for us too if someone plainly doesn't want us in their space

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