to want to feel like I deserve to work less hours

[toogoodforthisworld]

I'm 51, I've been working full time since I was 16 - basically 35 years with a 2 year break when DD2 was born). The last 4 years have been full time WFH. which means I am basically available 18 hours a day... which doesn't mean I work more than 40 hours - it just means that I work at times when the people I work with are available (US, Singapore etc) and I am Europe based.
I'm going to suggest to my boss that I start working 36 instead of the official 40 hours a week, but move to 4 x 9 hours a day. I also fancy 2 long weekends a month (so take the Friday off one week and the following week take the Monday off) or does anyone have any better suggestions?

I've worked out it will only cost me about 250 pounds a month in take home pay. It will also affect my bonus slightly. Not too worried about my pension as it looks like I will continue to contribute the same amount.

I'm peri menopausal and I feel like it's all a bit much at the moment - (Also my previous boss left recently which has sucked the fun out a lot of what I do).

And I want time to really switch off, also my grandkids live 4 hours drive away so this will a great opportunity to go and stay once a month without taking my work with me or having to use all my holidays up. I live with my partner and his kids and do the main share of chores there. He works as a freelancer. we do not have joint bank accounts. At the moment I am earning more than him but I do pay more than my fair share towards his house.
Does anyone have any golden tips to handle this with my boss ? HR have already said it's possible but that I need to get permission off her first.
I think in reality I am actually trying to convince myself I deserve some days off...

The Protestant work ethic is difficult to shake off, I feel the same. I'm exhausted and currently taking some time off and only feel justified in doing so because I've had an operation! I'm 53 and don't feel I can cope with full time work anymore, partly because of my own health, partly caring responsibilities, and like you I've worked full time for many years only taking 5 months off to have my daughter and I want some time to do things that make me happy.

In relation to your boss though, you need to think more about how it might benefit the business or at least how to ameliorate any detriment. I'd avoid bringing your personal situation into it as much as possible, though you might want to emphasise the health issues to you of having to be at least nominally on duty for such a wine time period in each day (how do you get a regular 8 hours of sleep?)

@SierraSapphire
God you are so right about the Protestant work ethic!!! My parents always compliment me and my sister on it and we are always trying to explain at its not a good thing - And that millennials are doing it way better than us w.r.t. quality of life!

I used to be much better at enjoying myself when I was younger, I even used to skive work sometimes (I did also work hard though) I think I've just got caught up in the stress of having so much to do I've forgotten how to have fun. It has actually made me ill though.

What objections, if any, do you think your boss might have?

@SierraSapphire I know what you mean about forgetting how to be carefree. And I am so sorry it has made you ill. We are our own worst enemies for prioritizing everyone above ourselves. DH has actually opened my eyes in a positive way to this. I hope you feel and get better soon X
I honestly have no idea what objections my boss may have as I don't know her very well. I just know she is married to her job. I don't want to put my foot in it- I am in full agreement that I shouldn't mention personal issues but focus on the business...
W.r.t. sleep etc - I take time out in the day - I go for walks and take naps etc. Its actually fine as DH works evenings as well. I like my job I just want more freedom to get away.
During the discussion I think I should focus on my changing responsibilities- or rather who I should assist less- and offer to do a trial period of approx 3 months to see if it works?
Do you have any suggestions?

You do deserve it. The stress of work for women after the menopause, and for men post-40, has been documented. You need to manage it or you'll burn out. Plus, what you're suggesting isn't exactly a sinecure!

I would frame this as being about productivity - having come to a new understanding of how you work best and wanting to capitalise on that.

You may not want to mention personal issues but it may be worth adding some of the issues around working through the menopause. It is more exhausting and stressful for many women and the workplace does need to take account of this.

you are only asking for a tiny adjustment. Go for it and don’t be apologetic.

committees.parliament.uk/work/1416/menopause-and-the-workplace/