What is success to you?

2pinkginsplease · 29/05/2022 23:01

Success to me is happiness and contentment ,

my husband and children being happy makes me happy.

AyeUpMeDuck · 29/05/2022 23:02

My daughter growing to be a strong no shit taking kick ass woman.
Nothing else matters.

Codswallop20 · 29/05/2022 23:05

I don't know. Because I suppose there will always be something else to aim for. I feel successful in my career. I feel successful as a mum (sometimes). I went from dirt poor to fairly comfortable but I never trust it will continue. I always have a back up plan and I know I can look after myself when the shit hits the fan.

I am really proud of what I have achieved but there is always better and more

FoiledByTheInsect · 29/05/2022 23:05

Paying the rent on time and staying out of hospital. Bar's dropped a bit since covid.

Aussiegirl123456 · 29/05/2022 23:11

Being happy. Happy with yourself and the decisions you make.

I was conditioned from an early age to believe success was determined by career and wealth. I worked hard and had an amazing career and plenty of money. It didn’t bring happiness and just turned me into a consumer. I bought things for our children to make up for the fact that I spent less time with them. Bought a big house to buy lots of things to put in it.

6yrs ago we sold everything, moved to Australia and spent a year travelling around in a caravan with our kids. Had very little possession wise due to weight restrictions while towing. Can hand on heart say that was the year that changed our lives and made me realise that material possessions are so irrelevant. We come with nothing and leave with nothing.

We ended up staying here but now we work to live. Our kids are teenagers and we are all so close. We explore lots and we all feel happy. As long as we’re happy and healthy, have food in our bellies etc then I think we are successful.

I appreciate that success is a different concept for everyone though. My father in England feels I’m a failure for selling a huge house and giving up a career but he’s worked his entire life to spent his time at home watching numbers on a screen get bigger (bank balance) or the tv. I’m sad for him really.

Antarcticant · 29/05/2022 23:14

It's a very specific but difficult ambition I want to achieve and haven't. If I achieve it before I die I will die content.

whiteroseredrose · 29/05/2022 23:21

For me, the most important thing is a happy marriage and happy family.

No amount of career success can make up for a miserable home life.

I feel sad for people who are always focused on the next rung up the ladder and don't appreciate what they have now.

JenniferBarkley · 29/05/2022 23:22

I suppose I would define success in terms of career, finances etc.

But happiness I think of in terms of family, friends etc and that is more important to me.

I try to prioritise each of your three things but it's not possible IME, so the career is stalling a little for the time being.

EllaPaella · 29/05/2022 23:25

Doing a job I enjoy that doesn't make me dread going into work each day; doing something meaningful that gives back to society.

If the worst happened and I didn't see tomorrow then knowing that I had enjoyed my life, had no regrets, had shown kindness to others and my children knowing I loved them more than anything in the world - that would be my measure of a successful life.

Pinkishpurple · 29/05/2022 23:27

Freedom and happiness

Sarah13xx · 29/05/2022 23:32

On a podcast I listened to someone summarized happiness as ‘enjoying the passage of time’.. because realistically that’s all we have, time. So I’d say success would have to be similar. I went to uni, did a degree and a postgrad, got a full time teaching job, beat so many people at the interview, only to absolutely hate it. I’m now off on mat leave but really doing anything to avoid going back because I hate it and the person it makes me have to be. So my career slowly ruining my life is definitely not success 🙈 I have started a little side business that’s doing really well though and feel like that’s ‘successful’ because it’s genuinely enjoyable and I get a sense of achievement from it. I think ultimate success/happiness in life that everyone strives for is having the dream career that’s just going perfectly, a great marriage, amazing friends and lovely kids. It does seem like you can never really have it all though and our brains are wired to constantly be counting down to the next thing or striving for the next thing we need

Codswallop20 · 30/05/2022 23:48

I agree success and happiness are not always directly related.

For me happiness is little things like stopping on a walk on my own to talk to the sheep, or a lovely hug, or a warm bath. Happiness is small.

Success is bigger but not necessarily better. I can now afford things I thought would always be out of reach, but the pleasure of that is sharing. I love to feed my friends and I just bought my sister an amazing present for her 40th, that also makes me happy.

Success also seems to mean less time and more stress. Not so bad now that my kids are bigger

AyeUpMeDuck · 30/05/2022 23:52

For me happiness is little things like stopping on a walk on my own to talk to the sheep, or a lovely hug, or a warm bath. Happiness is small.

I too talk to sheep and cows and horses whilst walking, it never fails to make me smile for a brief moment.

One day one of them will respond, I'm almost positively maybe sure.

SaggyBlinders · 31/05/2022 00:32

Is it career? Family? Marriage?

what mean’s the most to you? I have 2 put of 3 of those things and feel like I should have it all!!

Career: I guess I have a career, I'm fairly passionate about it, but my biggest ambition/priority right now is to have work life balance. So I work part time and have taken a step back responsibility wise. I work 3 days a week and fucking love it. I have less money and my job doesn't sound flashy when people ask what I do, but I've never been so happy. I have time to spend with the people and on the things that make me happy. Definitely a work to live not live to work mindset atm. I get people questioning why I work part time though who look truly puzzled when I answer "because I want to". And then they tend to ask if I get bored: nope!

Marriage: very happy in my relationship and feel very lucky to have met him. Wouldn't say it makes me successful though, just lucky and loved.

Family: I don't have kids yet and am honestly starting to question if I definitely want them. I am very content with life atm and don't really want to change it. Plus I can't afford them with my part time wage 🤣

MountainClimber22 · 31/05/2022 00:36

Success to me is simply living and loving my life/family and friends. Truelly blessed.

Iloveychildrenandmydoggie · 31/05/2022 00:46

Just knowing that as a human being I am ok and that my children are happy well adjusted adults.

Rosebud21 · 31/05/2022 05:23

Sarah13xx · 29/05/2022 23:32

On a podcast I listened to someone summarized happiness as ‘enjoying the passage of time’.. because realistically that’s all we have, time. So I’d say success would have to be similar. I went to uni, did a degree and a postgrad, got a full time teaching job, beat so many people at the interview, only to absolutely hate it. I’m now off on mat leave but really doing anything to avoid going back because I hate it and the person it makes me have to be. So my career slowly ruining my life is definitely not success 🙈 I have started a little side business that’s doing really well though and feel like that’s ‘successful’ because it’s genuinely enjoyable and I get a sense of achievement from it. I think ultimate success/happiness in life that everyone strives for is having the dream career that’s just going perfectly, a great marriage, amazing friends and lovely kids. It does seem like you can never really have it all though and our brains are wired to constantly be counting down to the next thing or striving for the next thing we need

Do you remember which podcast you listened to?

Enjoy your mat leave & your new business

Redouble · 31/05/2022 05:43

I don't think success and happiness are partners - but success in our culture is money, career, car etc related. But this is all social conditioning.

Happiness I think is contentment - I feel very lucky to feel content in my life at the moment. I have financial security and could 'retire' at 37 but I work part time which I enjoy; working to be a choice is a true privilege.

I have my full health which is priceless. My mental health is getting stronger and more resilient, I have a lovely, kind husband who I have a deep bond with.

We don't have children so all my time is my own, I very much enjoy my freedom and spontaneity. I definitely encounter less stress than my friends with kids.

I feel very lucky, but if you looked at my career, car, etc you'd definitely not call me successful!

aurynne · 31/05/2022 06:25

For me, success is looking back at my life and being proud and happy of what I have done, and looking to the future and being excited about what awaits me.

RenegadeMatron · 31/05/2022 06:54

Raising good kids and making the most of good relationships - so husband, family and friends.

It’s great to have careers that enables us to live comfortably. But that by itself would not bring me anywhere near the happiness that raising my kids and having good people in my life brings.

hidethetoaster · 31/05/2022 06:55

Keeping the family together
Being able to say 'yes' to the kids - and to myself
Creating happy memories
A handful of nurturing friendships

Feels quite good to write that down. Thanks for the great thread OP!

ImplementingTheDennisSystem · 31/05/2022 06:57

*Is it career? Family? Marriage?

what mean’s the most to you? I have 2 put of 3 of those things and feel like I should have it all!!*

God no! That's treating life like a box-ticking exercise.

Success to me is being happy and content with what you have - not always striving for more.
I also think success means building your life to create a certain amount of freedom from 'the system'/'the treadmill'.
That freedom might come from earning a massive salary, or earning very little but being mortgage free in a 2-bed flat, or earning almost nothing but being willing to live in a campervan. Then you can pick and choose how hard and long you work for, and in what form of employment.
For me, a life with a husband and 2 kids, but where you're trapped on the treadmill with no escape from the system until retirement, does not represent success.

MushMonster · 31/05/2022 07:14

Family for me, my daughter and husband, and so marriage is their at the top.
To keep them I need to work, as we do not have other assets. I have a career, not a bad one but not too bright either. Pays the bills while giving me a sense of achievement regarding my job.
For me success is to be a full time working mum and wife. To be able to jiggle it all.
If I had plenty of money, I would have dropped my career when she was little and spend more time with her and husband. But now that she is getting her own life, I think I would carry on investing in my own career, as she needs my guidance and advice, but not so much my time anymore and my husband is working and I do not see him giving that up. He finds a sense of purpose in working and being a bread winner.

hattie43 · 31/05/2022 07:23

Following your dreams no one else's .

TeaAndChoccie · 31/05/2022 07:32

Success to me personally will be knowing I have raised 2 happy, content, kind and hard working children

Success to me more generally is about happiness and content. There is little point in money if you are miserable, a high status job if you are not happy, marriage if it doesn't work for you, etc... Success needs to be about what makes you happy and gives you meaning. I hate all this media sell of glamour and money.