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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Car for 17th birthday. Is this the norm?

168 replies

folly115 · 29/05/2022 18:16

It seems to be the norm around here to have a car for your 17th birthday. A couple of my friends have done this for their DC's and all except one of my DD's friends have a car ready and waiting for when they pass their test. It isn't just the car it is the insurance and costs that go with it.

A few of her friends seem to get the car bought by their dad (mum and dad are divorced) a couple by their grandparents as their parents can't afford it and they don't want them to be the only one without a car and a few the parents buy.

We can't afford this. She is going to have to save and maybe we can help her out. AIBU to put our foot down and say this isn't happening??

OP posts:
Ducksurprise · 29/05/2022 19:34

Given the cost of uni nowadays

I think the foolishness comes from going to uni not driving

toomuchlaundry · 29/05/2022 19:34

DS currently used my car for driving practice. Not sure what we will do when he finally passes. He has been saving money to buy a car, we can afford to contribute but he is determined to at least pay for part of it. The issue we have is nowhere to park it, how do people cope with numerous cars? Also some of the universities DS has looked at have very limited parking so am wondering whether it would be worthwhile getting a car that would have to be left somewhere with us when he is away

EinsteinaGogo · 29/05/2022 19:35

We got both of our DSs cars for their 17th birthdays (they are 23 and 21 now).

They were second hand 1.0 cars that cost around £3.5k-£4K each.

Both still have them. The money came from savings we had for them and I'm glad we were able to.

Some of their friends got cars bought from them, some didn't. Quite varied around here.

BlancmanegeBunny · 29/05/2022 19:35

Dd is 17 in a few weeks abd will not be getting a car! We are going to pay for driving lessons but not a car. None of her peer group have been bought a car.

RewildingAmbridge · 29/05/2022 19:35

I got money for driving lessons for my seventeenth, and when I passed I was insured on DFs car so I could use it in the evenings when he wasn't, or at weekends if he and DM were going out together in DMs car.
I didn't buy my own car until after I graduated at 21, I went to a university where a car would've been more of a hindrance than a help.
VW polo cost me £1600 and I loved every inch of that car because I'd worked ridiculous hours in two summer jobs to pay for it. Cleaned it all the time had it serviced properly, checked my own oil, water, tyre pressure etc. Insurance wasn't as expensive then though, I think my first insurance was around £500.
DH had his first car given to him, nothing flash, an old Clio his mum was getting rid of, he ran it into the ground until it literally died , took no care of it at all and his parents bought him another one!

imnotwhoyouthinkiam · 29/05/2022 19:35

I don't think it's the norm here. Ds got his provisional from my mum. I took him to London to see a show as a present.
If he wants lessons he can get a job and pay for them.

SunshineLollipopsAndRainbows · 29/05/2022 19:37

I bought my first car aged 36 ( passed my test at 24). It didn’t even come up in conversation with my parents & I never expected them to buy me a car.

Saladd0dger · 29/05/2022 19:37

definitely not. It’s taken me ages to save up for my own driving lessons. If anyone is getting a car it’s me. Iv walked enough lol

littlefireseverywhere · 29/05/2022 19:37

I’m not sure what the norm is round here as it now takes so long for them to find an instructor & gave lessons etc. we did offer DS a car but he declined until he’s passed his test which at 18 he hasn’t yet. So, he uses mine & that’s how it’ll stay for a while I think.

Louise0701 · 29/05/2022 19:37

This isn’t a new thing. I left school in 2006. The done thing then was driving lessons for 17th, car insurance & tax for 18th. There of 1 out of my circle of friends who didn’t get a car but she drove her mums sometimes.

EinsteinaGogo · 29/05/2022 19:38

InChocolateWeTrust · 29/05/2022 18:42

Honestly I think a lot of people must bullshit or be borrowing money a lot of the time. Even a really crap second hand car costs a grand or more plus insurance mot & tax bringing that to more like 2k. There is nowhere in the UK where it is "the norm" for ordinary families to buy cars for teenagers, given the number of families who are currently struggling to pay electricity bills.

@InChocolateWeTrust

You can call it bullshit but it really isn't.

If you've put 10 quid a week away in a savings plan since your kids where born, you'd have more than enough for this.

Not saying that everyone has the funds to do this, but surely you can see that some people might????

SpringIntoChaos · 29/05/2022 19:38

Blimey where do you live? No...it's most definitely NOT 'the norm' 😱

Louise0701 · 29/05/2022 19:39

@toomuchlaundry my husband laughed at me when we were house hunting last year as I stated a large drive as a non-negotiable; the reason being we have 3 children and need to be able to fit at least 5 cars on it one day. They’re 8, 5 & 3 😂

Boymumsoymum · 29/05/2022 19:40

Ducksurprise · 29/05/2022 19:34

Given the cost of uni nowadays

I think the foolishness comes from going to uni not driving

It doesn't have to be either or - why can't they practise driving using a parents car, why does a 17yr old need their own!

User3568975431146 · 29/05/2022 19:45

It's been the norm here for a lot of years. We waited until ours passed his test but we'd been setting money aside since he was born so buying it wasn't a problem. It may be that that's what other families have been doing too.

mrsm43s · 29/05/2022 19:46

I live in a very affluent area, and my children attend private school, so their peers have wealthy families.

No, not at all normal for children to be given a car for their 17th.

What is normal (and what we have done) is for parents to pay for driving lessons/tests, and to pay for children to be added to the insurance of the second family car. In some cases additional small cars have been bought for children to share when both parents drive expensive high end cars.

Ellie56 · 29/05/2022 19:48

Ha ha no.

over2021 · 29/05/2022 19:50

No, although funny you mention this because DD (14) made a comment the other day "what car will you buy me for my 17th birthday? I'd like a Mini..."

Oh, how we laughed.

rnsaslkih · 29/05/2022 19:50

There are learner leasing deals where you pay monthly and it covers the car “hire” and insurance.

User48751490 · 29/05/2022 19:52

No, it's not the norm where I live. My DC will have to buy their own car. Eldest is already learning to drive aged 15, and I will buy his provisional licence but otherwise he can fund the rest himself.

WillowKnicks · 29/05/2022 19:55

It is the norm in my DDs circle of friends & parents are from all walks of life.

We paid for the cars (twins) & they paid for lessons & insurance (paid for out of part-time jobs)

HerRoyalNotness · 29/05/2022 19:56

Common around here. No public transport and high school kids have loads of before/after activities at school which means they’ll miss the school bus home. If parents are working own cars are the answer.

my friend when they moved here went to tour a high school for her D.C. and there were a dozen white mustangs lined up in the parking lot. She asked about it and they were cheerleaders cars, they’d all got matching ones. Boggles thé mind, but we’ll be buying ours a car, not sure on budget yet and considering he can’t get a job until 16 and that’s when he’ll start driving he won’t be able to pay for it, but will have to run it.

TenoringBehind · 29/05/2022 19:57

my oldest dc is in this age bracket. A tiny handful of his contemporaries have been bought a car at 17. The vast majority have not,

sanityisamyth · 29/05/2022 19:57

My mother bought a car for me when I passed my test. I really wish she hadn't! It was a surprise, but it was a clapped out Ford Sierra and she'd been done over by the bloke who sold it. I've driven for all of 10 minutes and it had a complete electrical failure (which she blamed me for - I'm not sure what I could have done to cause every fuse to blow) and had to be scrapped.

If anyone is going to buy their kids a car don't make it a surprise, or at least get them something that isn't a 1.6L family car!!

TenoringBehind · 29/05/2022 19:58

having said that, everyone learns to drive the moment they turn 17. rural area, no public transport, so driving is a key life skill.

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