To be suspicious of him..?

[uppsiedaisy]

I've been seeing a guy for about 4 months. We haven't gone public as in on Facebook or anything but his family know about me. We go out for meals a lot, he's met some of my friends etc.
there's a girl on his hockey team who I thought might fancy him. I stayed at his house last night and saw she had sent him 3 snap chats (didn't see what they were) I asked him and he basically said she maybe does fancy him but he doesn't fancy her and he's with me so why am I getting upset? (Id had a few drinks) I've looked at her profile and not being nasty but I am a lot prettier than her.
AIBU to be worried or would you just let it go?

Grow. Up.

Just let it go? Let what go? That someone might fancy your partner? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don't see what there is to let go.

You also sound really judgemental, you might think you're prettier - but she might be a nicer person!

Dating probably isn’t for you right now OP.

You obviously don’t trust him. It also seems you may be insecure, comparing your looks to another woman.

Work on yourself and your own self esteem before dating someone.

He’s given you no reason not to trust him, unless there is a huge drip feed here. Even IF she does fancy him, you need to trust him but it doesn’t seem like you do. After only 4 months this doesn’t seem like a good start to a relationship

Were these snap chats specifically for him or were they sent to loads of her friends list? Either way its nothing to do with you .

I've looked at her profile and not being nasty but I am a lot prettier than her.

How is that anything but nasty?

Your response sounds very immature. Most people know that attraction isn't based on looks alone, the fact that you are basing how worried you should be on comparison of looks is misguided. If you see things this way you will always be insecure because there is always someone more pretty than you.
If the guy you are with can be trusted her looks are irrelevant if he can't... Ditto.
If you aren't sure if he can trusted because it's early days, then let it go until you see things which tell you what his moral compass is like, and then decide.

I give your relationship about 5 mins, but it will have nothing to do with how pretty she is.

And yes, that is nasty

You’re absolutely delightful 😁🙄

You know looks aren't everything right? A pretty face doesn't automatically make you better than someone else.

You seem to be implying that your bf is only interested in looks or that looks are the only thing you have going for you. How old are you both?

I read this and just heard Vicky Pollard

What do you expect him to do?
If you are this insecure I don't think any relationship is going to work out.

Looks are subjective, and if she's a nice person she will suddenly become infinitely more attractive to him if you start spouting shit like in your OP, so tread carefully.

I don't really understand snap chat but he said they were direct to him asking what he was doing and another saying she was going out.
He said she'd asked him out a few months ago and he said he was flattered but not interested, and she knew he was seeing me.
It is more my issue than anyones you're all right, I suppose I'm just really insecure from my last relationship he cheated while I was pregnant x

Nah, you’re fine - he’s definitely not gonna start fucking some minger when he’s got gorgeous you, huh? Does she have ugly hockey thighs, hun?

Hmm 🤔

Well aren’t you charming?

I think perhaps the suggestion to work on yourself from someone above was a good one. Except working on your self esteem is only one of the things you need to work on. Judgement of others probably needs looking at too.

Imagine someone fancying someone else. Shock!!

so what if she does? No offence but you sound quite insecure. The fact you’ve looked her up and commented on her looks is incredibly telling that you’re lacking in self confidence.

if he’s given you no reason to doubt him, chill out. Your man isn’t your property, you don’t own him and you can’t get mad if someone likes him!!

It is more my issue than anyones you're all right, I suppose I'm just really insecure from my last relationship he cheated while I was pregnant

Really sorry that happened to you, OP💐

Being cheated on is really up there with one of the most soul destroying things. And whilst pregnant, I can’t imagine.

But, you cannot let the actions of a previous ex affect your current relationships. You’re obviously insecure and have trust issues. This is something you need to accept and work on.

By being suspicious of your new partner, checking his social media and asking him “who is she?” etc, is going to put a strain on things and push him away.

The first 4 months of a relationship is where it is the exciting honeymoon phase. If you’re having trust issues and suspicions this early on, it’s only going to get worse I’m afraid.

You also need to learn and understand that looks aren’t everything. Comparing your looks to this girl isn’t going to make you feel any better about yourself, or make you feel any more secure.

IMO, you really need to think if you feel secure enough to continue in this relationship.

Insecurity is a horrible thing and awful that your deep hurt left you with that.
I don't think you'd feel any different if you were the most gorgeous woman in the world though.
It would be great if you could wave a magic wand and trust again, or have a cast iron guarantee that your partner would never ever cheat. Obviously that's not possible, but you could aim for healing enough that your insecurity doesn't pollute your next relationship.
This is why people who damage others are such scum, because the reality is that is causes scars and damage which must then be overcome for the person to be able to forge a new future and enjoy a healthy relationship again. It takes courage to trust after a betrayal and it's no small thing. I wish more people would thing about that before they casually treated others as disposable. I'm sorry that happened to you.
A good person would not have done that, the fact that they did wasn't because you weren't enough in some way, it was because their personal morals allowed it.
If they were unhappy they could have just as easily let you know and ended it decently. They didn't and no amount of pretty or anything changes that.
Find faith in your strength, courage to trust again so you can lose the poison that is insecurity. Then if you met a good man you'd be ready. If this guy is that man, then try to build those repairs, maybe with help from therapy if that's an option, and develop things with him slowly so you aren't in too deep before you're ready.

Why do people seem to think saying ‘I’m not being….’ in a sentence negates the mean/racist/sexist/bigoted thing they inevitably go on to say?

Thank you everyone. It's helped me give my head a shake and realise it's my issue and not his. He's been nothing but pleasant and kind to me, and it is early days. It does stem from me being cheated on while I was pregnant as a lot of his cheating started with messages. I've apologised to him for being jealous (and a drunken idiot) and said it's my insecurity and I'm sorry.