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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect this from DP

10 replies

agent74 · 29/05/2022 11:53

I am due to give birth in about 3 weeks, I am on mat leave now.

Dp is working full time.

I take dd to school and pick up every day, i keep the house clean and tidy in the week do all the washing cooking etc.

The last couple of weeks hoovering has slipped as i basically am really struggling, i have pelvic girdle pain, so even standing cooking dinner for 20 mins hurts. Let alone dragging a hoover around.

So the weekends i expect dp to clean & i tend to relax more. Which hasnt really been getting done so the house isnt the best right now.

However, i just feel that yes although i am on mat leave dp could really do with stepping up for these last few weeks esp as i am struggling with the pain / teamed with minimal sleep because of it also.

YABU - You have more time off so should still do it all/majority

YANBU - Its only a few weeks he needs to help out for more

OP posts:
Brefugee · 29/05/2022 11:54

are you expecting him to deduce that this needs to be done, that you want his help, or is this an expectation that you haven't articulated?

Sirzy · 29/05/2022 11:56

Have you actually had a conversation?

girlmom21 · 29/05/2022 12:02

Brefugee · 29/05/2022 11:54

are you expecting him to deduce that this needs to be done, that you want his help, or is this an expectation that you haven't articulated?

Deduce? He knows she's in pain. He knows the carpets dirty. It's not hard.

ThreeLittleDots · 29/05/2022 12:05

It's really sad you need to even ask this. Of course he should be stepping up. Your disappointment is justified.

Mally100 · 29/05/2022 13:13

Yanbu at all. You are in pain, he has a brain so he needs to think or at least ask what needs to be done. I would be very wary that this is a preview of what's to come.

InChocolateWeTrust · 29/05/2022 13:20

I'm 50 50 on this. What are you doing during the time your DD is at school? Is hoovering in particular is really uncomfortable, can you swap it out for lighter jobs that he might usually do?

While pregnancy does get uncomfy at the end usually keeping moving is better for you health wise. If he is at work all day and you are at home with an older one at school all day you could just space things out, 5 mins here and there and still have plenty of time to rest. Hoovering doesn't need doing every day, couple of times a week maybe.

If the PGP is so bad you cant stand at all can you chat to your midwife?

InChocolateWeTrust · 29/05/2022 13:22

Ps he does need to help more, but I think it's a bit odd to expect to just do nothing for 3 weeks before a baby arrives

billy1966 · 29/05/2022 13:26

How does he not know the pain you in?

Awful if he knows and is just ignoring it.

orwellwasright · 29/05/2022 14:24

InChocolateWeTrust · 29/05/2022 13:20

I'm 50 50 on this. What are you doing during the time your DD is at school? Is hoovering in particular is really uncomfortable, can you swap it out for lighter jobs that he might usually do?

While pregnancy does get uncomfy at the end usually keeping moving is better for you health wise. If he is at work all day and you are at home with an older one at school all day you could just space things out, 5 mins here and there and still have plenty of time to rest. Hoovering doesn't need doing every day, couple of times a week maybe.

If the PGP is so bad you cant stand at all can you chat to your midwife?

Keep working, pregnant woman! Even if you're in pain. Chop chop! Can't be neglecting your duties. Busy important man is at work all day you know so make sure you're pulling your weight you lazy trollop!

Brefugee · 29/05/2022 19:40

The point is the DH is obviously an arse who won't do things off his own initiative. So OP needs to spell it out.

Ideal world? he'd know what needs doing and do it. This is not ideal.

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