To say I don't need the commentary?

[jamoncrumpets]

DH has form for being a bit of a martyr at weekends, going around the house picking up things and sighing and talking about how tired he is. I pointed out how tiresome that was to somebody who picks things up every single day, and that it is possible to do boring household jobs without the pantomine resentment.

Anyway today he has decided he is going to do lots of jobs because we are going away on holiday. Great. So am I. I'm just going to sit in my pyjamas this Sunday morning with a croissant and make a few lists, then start working out laundry/packing etc.

What I'm getting is him coming in to tell me every five minutes what he is doing 'I'm going to tidy the kitchen island now'
'Ok'

'I'm putting some towels in the wash'
'Ok'

'I'm going to put some salt in the dishwasher'
'Ok'

Now he's just come and announced to me that he's 'Going to have a bath, ok?'

Yes ok. Of course ok. It's your bloody house! Why is he doing this? It's so weird.

*pantomime, slippery fingers

He's doing it to make a point that he's doing something while you're sat there doing nothing.

It would drive me mad.

Mine is the same OP. I've started saying "what do you want, a medal?"
Sounds harsh but I work and also do things around the house and if I listed everything I did before I did it, I would never stop talking!
It's to point out to you that he's doing something - especially when you are trying to have a sit down.

Call him at his own game and point out every little thing you do. I did this and it stopped for a while but I think it's too much of an ingrained habit now for him to totally stop.
I even used to text him on my days off to say "hung the wash out", "Just cutting the grass" "I've put the bins out" etc...

Omg I get all the time. "I've put that wash on now".

Feel like saying Right, that's great. I did 3 washes yesterday and managed not to announce them. 🙄

Dp does this, it drives me nuts. We come up with a plan for tidying house or going food shopping and if I don't rigidly stick to the time frames, he has a strop. I just ignore it now. I can't stand being so tightly regimented.

@SpatzBurger 😂 amazing. Im going to start texting DP all my job announcements too. He'll come out of work to about 100 texts a day. (And that's just the mornings and evenings as I also work almost full time!)

Mine would like this, I think. I refuse.

I'd start doing it back to him.

Tell him to STFU

My DH does this. Two of our kids wake up insanely early so he tends to get up with them and then I get up about an hour later and he goes back to bed for an hour (we do it this way because if my daughter sees me there is no way I would be allowed to go back to bed!).

Anyway, when we swap over he feels the need to give me a list of everything he's done since he got up 'so I've emptied the dishwasher, given DD a weetabix, put a wash on and taken a meter reading blah blah blah'. It's like he thinks I should be grateful or something, but those aren't jobs he's doing as a gift to me, they are just things than need doing. And I don't need telling because I can figure out if the dishwasher needs emptied by myself.,,

The thing is, I do the vast bulk of the housework because I only work three days a week, but he never comes home to a massive list of everything I did that day.

Just talk to him about it. Sit down and say listen, when you're doing things round the house, you don't need to give me a running commentary. Say you know what he's doing, and that he knows you'll be doing your share later, and that you do plenty during the week.

It's like he wants some kind of praise for doing what he should be doing anyway. My DP is much the same.

@almostsinglemum
Do it! when you see in writing how much you actually are doing (without the need for constant praise on each task) then you will be shocked yourself and hopefully it will silence your partner (for a while.)

Dh does this! He’s a lovely lovely man but this drives me insane.

I’ve just put a wash on.
I’m going to mow the lawn.
I might have a bath later.
I’m making a cheese and pickle sandwich.

Um, ok? It’s like he’s waiting for permission. Maybe different to yours as it’s not a martyr thing. But he announces EVERYTHING.

Mind you, I do stress cleaning when the house is a particular tip (often) where I aggressively chuck rubbish away and move the piles and piles of crap that no one else seems to see all week so that probably annoys him just as much.

Start applauding him every time.
He sounds exhausting.

Could you buy a pack of gold stars and stick one on his t shirt every time he announces an achievement

My DH is doing exactly this right now.

“Right, lots of sorting out to do”
”Okay, that’s the last coffee for me, time to tidy”
”so many random bits everywhere”
and now he’s listing off the various items he’s sorting. Of course he “doesn’t know” where the majority of the random bits go. So guess who’ll have to ultimately tidy all this shit away?

I know he’s irritated that I’m sitting down but I don’t care. I did so much housework yesterday and I have plenty I’ll tackle later too but he can sod right off because I’m having my coffee and pissing about online till I’m good and ready!

Make him a sticker chart

I would give him a round of applause every time. He’ll soon stop
But seriously, this drives me mad too. Along with the muttering about being the only one doing any work round here when I’ve been flat out juggling housework and full time work too!

Do this! I once told a colleague "That's very clever of you", when he came over to tell me how clever he'd been fixing something he'd broken in the first place. The reaction was most entertaining.

😄

Could you sing ‘Congratulations and Celebrations’ by Cliff Richard to him? Make a real fuss.

Say it. Its the only thing that shuts my DH up.

Oh I put the dishwasher on.
Ok..I did it about 3 times in the week.

I do tell DH ‘I’m going for a bath now’ 😂 I don’t know why, I think it’s just a bit of awkward and weird conversation. Maybe I got in the habit when the kids were really small so he knew to keep an ear out if they woke up.

However, why do you need to know he’s tidied the kitchen island? I wouldn’t know how to respond to that unless it was one of the kids when I could say ‘oh well done you big clever boy.’ But for my husband I think it just be like ‘okay? So? Do you need me to come and see it?’ Maybe just ask him why do you keep telling me everything you’re doing? Is there a reason you’re telling me?

Aww I really like this idea. My little one would too!

I also probably do the ‘might have a pot noodle later’ 😂 I think that’s a bit different than announcing housework. I don’t know why I do it. Must ask DH if it irritates him. But the housework announcing I’d say is passive aggressive ‘look at ME I’m doing SO MUCH’ whereas the I might have a bath/eat this or that is just daft conversation.