Worried sick this is cancer

[Stickworm]

Need a hand hold.

My mum has lost 20kgs very quickly over the past few months. She has acid reflux and is often sick after she eats. I’ve just dropped her at the hospital to have an ultrasound to determine whether or not it’s cancer - I’m seeing you don’t get the results back for a few days and I’m worried sick.

She also needs surgery for heart failure so I’m hoping (as if that isn’t enough to worry about!) the weight loss is due to this.

Not really sure what I’m after posting here but I’m worried sick 😞 people around me are telling me not to worry, it could be anything - but that’s much easier said than done.

Hugs. Obviously yes it could be cancer but try to cross that bridge if and when. Xxx

@Justkidding55 thank you 💕 its weird I’d gotten used to the idea I might lost my mum due to her heart condition and now this curve ball has been thrown. I don’t think you can ever really prepare for bad news and I’m trying to stay positive. Meant to be going on holiday tomorrow with my husband kids and in laws - my mum is insisting I go but I feel guilty 😞 also will probably worry the whole time!

I completely understand. Lost my mum to cancer at 59 and my dad has a heart condition but doing very well with it. We just love them so much don’t we. Hugs xxxxxx

Thank you so much and so sorry for your loss ♥️ I’m glad your dad is doing well. We know we will lose them one day I guess we are just never ready x

Fingers crossed that you get some answers soon.

I obviously don’t know the circumstances of your mum’s heart failure, but unless you’ve been told that your mum is going to die, please don’t assume that you’ve already lost her.

Heart failure is a very broad term which describes the level of inefficiency of the heart, but people live with it for decades, and live normal lives with it.

I think you should go on holiday. Try not to give your mum the impression that you’re gravely worried. Keep things normal until you know for sure that they’re abnormal iyswim.

I went through this with my dad when he was 70 and it’s very stressful. He lived to 88 in the end. I hope it’s something easily treatable OP. My fingers are crossed for your mum.

Thank you @AlternativePerspective - yes absolutely, she needs a heart valve replacement so definitely not a death sentence by any means. Now just hoping for good news after the latest health scare 🙏🏻

Thanks so much @GreenClock - yes I will go, one reason being I’m still breastfeeding my smallest so don’t want them to go without me (and absolutely wouldn’t stop my children going). And as you say wouldn’t want my mum to feel the extra worry from me.

It's a long way off from being cancer and if it is it's no longer a definite death sentence. If it is cancer, it's often a long journey, operations, radiotherapy, chemo. Even if it's the worst she will need you fot a long time during her recovery. She will feel awful if you miss your holiday. Go keep in touch and face whatever it is when you get back.

Well they did the scan and as expected they didn’t tell her anything there and then so it’s a matter of waiting for a few days I think. She’s got an endoscopy tomorrow as well.

Please try not to worry. I've been having a range of tests as I has weight loss, and similar symptoms. Fortunately, it isn't cancer, but gastropaeresis, where stomach doesn't digest food and is slow emptying.
So yes, it is scary for you and your mum, but worrying before results is very exhausting!

I think it's natural to be worried but try not to overthink until you have a diagnosis. For what it's worth, I've had two relatives with these symptoms. One unfortunately did have cancer but the other had a condition where her oesophagus wasn't moving correctly, so was causing 'blockage' type symptoms as it wasn't pushing the food down as it should. She had some sort of intervention to zap the nerves or muscle (I can't really remember) and has been fine since.

From someone who was diagnosed with breast cancer last year please don’t waste time and energy catastrophising before you know what is happening. Cancer diagnosis can take a long time ( sometimes months to get a definitive diagnosis) maintains a high level of anxiety throughout this time will be exhausting.
My mum died of cancer when I was 32. It was devastating but no amount of worry could fix it.
Until you know what has caused the health problems try to be positive, particularly because they seem to have taken action promptly.
Believe me when I say your mum will be going through so much more than you are at the moment. She will not be sharing with you because she is your mum and will naturally be doing the mum thing. I found it far harder to deal with the worry of telling my DS than I did dealing with the loss of my mum. My mum admitted that telling us, and sharing with us her cancer treatment was much harder than dealing with her own emotions. I now fully understand how she felt.

Sorry to hear this - my mum is having similar and her scan showed it's diverticulitis which is manageable, so fingers crossed for your mum.

Thank you so much for all the reassuring comments and I’m so sorry to those of you who have suffered loss or are struggling with illness currently.

I feel so awful for my mum as this is just another thing in an endless list of illness (fibromyalgia, double knee replacement, hysterectomy, stomach adhesions and heart failure) and she’s only 65. I used to have to do up her bra and tie her shoelaces when I was a teenager when her fibromyalgia was at its worst. She just doesn’t seem to have a single moment not worrying about her health 😞

If she is having an endoscopy t omorrow, she will be told the results after the procedure on what they believe it may be. I worked on gastro, there are lots and lots of different things it can be other than cancer.

Im so sorry you're having such a stressful time, it's natural to go straight to worst case scenario when someone loses weight so rapidly. I hope you get some answers very soon.💐

Has she had any other investigations at all? My own mother who is almost 90 lost a lot of weight after my father died. She had lost her appetite and we put that down to her grief of losing her husband of 55 years. This went on for some time and the loss of appetite turned into nausea, vomiting and diarrhoea. Of course we thought we were going to get the worst of bad news but asked GP for a number of investigations including CA 125 which detects a cancer antigen specific to certain cancers, Q-Fit test and Helicobacter Pylori tests which are done on a faecal sample. It turned out that she was positive for H-Pylori, had a course of treatment which has made a huge difference.

Thank you @Katya213 that’s reassuring 🙏🏻

I hope your mother is ok @Elchupacabra 💐

…she’s had investigations but only focussing on her heart. They brushed off her weight loss for a long time until they realised it was such a significant amount in such a short space of time and she hadn’t even been trying!

@Stickworm how is her appetite?
My mother is so much better, she is thankful every day that she can eat well and is slowly puttung on weight.

She reckons her appetite hasn’t changed but I would say it has - she certainly eats much more slowly than she used to and definitely doesn’t finish her plate.

She has her endoscopy at 4pm - currently on route to holiday destination and told her she must text me as soon as it’s done 🤞🏻

She had the endoscopy today and they’ve said there are no signs of the big c, but the ultrasound scan results will tell us more 🙏🏻

That’s really good news because endoscopy is usually how they find it or anything for that matter as they can have a really good look. Ultrasound they would be looking at her liver, spleen, gallbladder but if you haven’t heard anything in a few days, that’s always a good sign.

Just thinking of you and wondering how your mum has been?