To think its moving way to fast!

[namechangedforthisyes]

My DM has met a new man through fb, luckily he seems ok from his fb has kids etc.

They have known each other maybe 6 weeks and DM is already claiming he is her soul mate, she wants us all to meet him and is pushing him on us, my DSis told her we aren't comfortable with it yet its far to early and shes basically told her to get over it cause he's here to stay!

I don't agree with it personally and won't be introducing my DC to a random man she has only just met herself, the problem is she is raising her 3 grandchildren (iv posted about this before) and is introducing them already!

I hope it works out in the long run for her but AIBU to think its all far to fast

Does she have a house? I think you're right to be wary. There are a lot of predatory men out there looking to hone in on older women for their assets. Whether or not your DM will listen to you or not is a different matter though!

You could gently probe as to how she met him through FB. FB is full of chancers messaging women, so try to find out if he messaged her first or whether it was through some mutual interest where they got chatting in a more natural way.

@AchatAVendre Yes! But its my dad's house also, he moved out last year so she could stay in the house with the 3 DGC!

Thats another question if she moved him in could he put a claim on the house eventually although its got my dads name on it?

He's the same age as her I think and from the same area, luckily not someone abroad they are currently enjoying a weekend away together!

At 6 weeks I had introduced my now partner to my children (young adults) I don't see the big deal in that, and whilst I hadn't moved in with him it was at the 6 week point plans started to be made. It is possible to know a relationship is right, I know it's out of concern for your mother but unless she's vulnerable you need to let her be an adult. As for the house, unless they marry or she signs it over to him he has no claim on the house

This is a personal grievance of mine - people moving too quick that is.

What on earth can she know about him (and him her) 6 weeks in?!?!

I know lots and lots of instances where people have moved too quick and quite frankly it's turned into an absolute shit show.

I agree with you - it's too soon to introduce kids.

I'd keep quiet for now....sit back and when it goes wrong, you can pick up the pieces (not that you'll be inclined).

@motogirl I appreciate that I was pregnant 3 months into my relationship with DH but id known him for 5 years as friends and been talking for a year before we officially got together so although it was fast I did know him.

My DM has literally just met this man, hasn't met his family, hasn't been to his home but is wanting to introduce him to her 3 GC, two are young.

I also wouldn't mind as much if she wasn't forcing him on all of us (her adult children)

@UserError012345 I won't be picking up any pieces she never listens or learns unfortunately!

Thats another question if she moved him in could he put a claim on the house eventually although its got my dads name on it?

Not a snowball's chance in hell could he have a claim on your parents' house just because she "moves him in". Not eventually, not ever. That's not something you need to worry about. Not least of all because they are not married, and also because his name is not legally on the mortgage nor on the title deeds.

Of course, in the future if all those things were to change, then the whole basis of their relationship and a different set of circumstances change that status - eg your parents divorce and they get married, so other possibilities can be there for him to have a claim claim, but definitely not on the basis of just him living there.

I'm no expert but I wouldn't imagine this man could lay claim to your dad's share of the house, even if she married him. And he (your dad) would still have legal rights when it came to selling up etc.
Might be an idea to let new bloke know this and see his reaction. If he's only after getting his feet under the table, he may just fuck off at this news.
As far as moving too fast is concerned. The older you are, the less time you tend to waste in relationships. It's not necessarily sinister. But it's worth checking him out.
For the kids sake.

Is this the DM who is bringing up her three unruly GC and acting as FC for them? I imagine SS might be concerned that she is introducing a strange man into a very difficult situation. I’d be very interested to know what he would get out of the situation if you are the poster I’m thinking of.

@MatildaTheCat Yes, everything seems to have calmed down at the minute! I actually spent the day with them yesterday and funnily enough my nephew played really nicely with my DC strange how that happens when DM isn't there! (Their auntie is watching them for the weekend)

Unfortunately SS will not care, unless she does move him in then they would probably do a DBS check and if its clear they wouldn't care again!

@MistyGreenAndBlue From what iv seen so far the man already thinks he is going to become step dad / grandad to us all!

Maybe another way to look at it - does this man have his own house? Do a little bit of research. Does he own his house or does he rent? Does he have to pay child support? Does he have a full time job? Can you find out anything about his relationship history? If he is on FB a lot is he messaging other women? You can search for past public posts on FB. That way, if there is something to be worried about, you can present evidence to your DM and she might be more likely to take your concerns seriously.