Aibu

[Justasa1off]

NC

Don’t know if I’m being unfairly annoyed, I’ve had a bad day so could be.
Me and friends children are good friends and we enjoy the occasional play date as we live near.
I reached out to suggest a play date over the half term and they responded with (in summary) “that would be great because I’m studying and husband is doing his hobby can you have him tomorrow at x time”
No issues with this- asked back if she would mind if we took him to the park round the corner- for context they have 1 child and I have 2- my other is an energetic filled toddler who I need to take out multiple times a day because he isn’t at that sit still age. They’ve asked I don’t as he often gets sick from that park - I don’t think this is a cover for not trusting us as I said many play dates before. I’m annoyed because I’m doing you a favour and now I have to be confined to my small house and honestly children get sick, I fail to see how a playground is to blame.

YABU for even asking them. It's a playground FGS not a theme park - and you are doing them a huge favour anyway.

If the child often gets sick from the park they either need to see a doctor or look up how to do parks

That's so stupid, tell them that you'll need to take back your offer as you won't be keeping your children inside all day

Why did you even ask?

I’d say you’ll drop him back on the way to the park then.

That's really neurotic of them. Or snobby about that particular park, perhaps? YANBU. You'd be doing them a favour, so they shouldn't be picky about park.

You shouldn't have bothered asking about the park but take them to a different park now that's been vetoed

Well then the answer is: I’m taking my DCs, I’ve already promised them, so I’ll drop your DS off on the way.
It will be a shorter play date but that’s on them.

I don’t see she’s done anything wrong - you asked about Sick Park and she said no. No is a valid response if you’re asked. I’m confused why you would even ask though 🤷🏻‍♀️
Just go out somewhere else. There’s got to be more than Sick Park and home as options.

The Sick Park

Will she reciprocate with a play date where you get to stay home? Is it generally 50/50?

Why would you even ask permission to go to the park?. Seeing as you did & they said no. The obvious reply is 'ok we'll drop him home on our way see you in 5 mins.

Then you say 'thats a shame ' maybe another time then.

Oh sorry saw you had asked in advance for tomorrow. Tell them it doesn't work & you'll maybe have him to play another day.

@Philisophigal I took it to mean she assumed she doesn’t want her to take him anywhere, not just the park, so she thinks she doesn’t trust her to keep him safe.

I’d honestly reply and ask if it’s a typo because it’s so strange. If she stands firm on ‘sick park’ I’d say it doesn’t work then as your toddler needs an airing, but you could have her kid before or after sick park o’clock.

She’s very good at offering play dates- obviously not relaxing for me as I have 2- not her issue at all though.
Despite being friends our children are wildly different, I have always had to take my children out twice a day, they are wild and full of energy- hers is calmer and can sit and play for hours. Again no judgement- my nephew is like my children and my niece is like hers- everyone is different but why I don’t think she sees the need to get out as much as I do.

Just say you'll see them another time. Don't babysit their kid when they are being cf's!

I don't know why people are calling them CFs, OP offered to have the kid and says that they reciprocate.

Gets sick from the park? Does she have health anxiety? I'd just cull it.

Why on earth would you even ask her about the park.
If you are good enough to take their DC on a play date then you choose where.

Why not just tske your own kids to thr Park, leave hers home.

I wouldn’t take someone’s child anywhere without asking- wish I hadn’t agreed to this now tbh
play dates are no favour to me, they are for my child to play with kids their age that’s really it. Having more than 1 child there is little benefit to 1 being away

This is the perfect answer.

Have you asked why he keeps getting sick from there. Is he licking the sick park?

I put YABU because you asked if the child wanted a play date, then you asked if they minded you taking him to the park. it’s not always clear if people are inviting the children only or whole family.

this could be sorted by being a bit more clear and assertive.you don’t have to stay in all day, you simply have to reply that you’ll have him for a shorter period than initially planned because you want to take your child to the park.

the illness thing is weird. I can’t imagine a park being high risk for picking up illnesses.

I wouldn’t even think twice about taking a child on a play date to the local park. Is it a thing to ask parents permission for that type of thing. Obviously I wouldn’t take them anywhere far or extreme, but I had assumed a walk, play at the local park, pop to local shop/cafe is all reasonably without expressly getting permission.

maybe I haven’t realised it’s the done thing to ask.