WWYD?

[sophiaaxo]

This isn't so much of an AIBU but more of a what would you do in my situation?

for quick context MIL and DPs cousin aren't keen on DPs other cousins GF. DP has two cousins, male and female, the female does not like her brothers girlfriend, and MIL doesn't either.

there has been an exchange of comments made- some nasty. the GF doesn't like my MIL or her SIL (DPs cousin) and vice versa.

MIL recently has approached me with gossip about the GF, and often talks negatively about her- expecting me to join in, i try not to, commenting that she's "only 17, and just a kid, she doesn't know what she's talking about" but MIL doesn't settle for this.

i get along with the gf, but i also get along with MIL and DP cousin (who doesn't like the GF) but seem to be stuck in the middle. i don't want to get involved as i understand both sides.

it's been awkward whenever MIL talks about the GF and i don't know how i should respond to it as i'm relatively close to the GF, and whilst MIL is looking for my support, i'm struggling to give it. for context GF made a negative comment about DPs cousin (her SIL) and my MIL, but i'm one of the only people who understand why this comment was made, and to an extent understand why she made it. not that i necessarily agree, i think they're all wrong, but i don't want to add fuel to the flame by mentioning what i know as it would cause uproar.

AIBU for not getting involved?

WWYD in my situation? i know this is quite vague, but how would you respond?

You’re not being unreasonable. I’d just say you don’t want to get involved and change the subject.

Two adults are bitching about a 17 yr old?
I'd ignore them, they sound vile.

Poor 17 year old! I hope she comes to her senses and finds a new boyfriend, grown women should be able to rise above a young, immature girl making a few comments.

Just think ‘Not my circus, not my monkeys’ and change the subject.

I think I would say “I’ve never found her difficult to get on with, and she’s only 17 so it wouldn’t be fair of me to moan about her. Let’s talk about something else.”

Just tell them that they're entitled to their opinion but you neither need nor want to hear it, if feeling particularly wound up remind them that they're grown women gossiping about a 17 year old and that reflects on them way worse than it does her

I'd probably have as little as possible to do with MIL and the whole family. They sound toxic. What kind of adult woman even has an opinion on a 17 yo that her nephew is dating? Never mind spreads bitchy gossip about one.

I like this.

Avoids any engagement and any comment and is polite but firm.

I just would be honest and blunt. “ to be honest I have no problem with her personally and I get on with you both. So I just want to stay out of it. I’d rather not be involved in conversations about her”.

I wouldn’t be impressed by adults talking about a child like that. But pathetic.