To want an Instagram free dinner with my friends?

[Jaggerdagger]

I went out for dinner with a group of friends last night. This particular group of friends increasingly like to film and take pictures of the entire evening, purely so that they can update their Instagram stories. Their outfits, make up and hair is so perfectly applied, and some of them even rearrange the food on the table so that they can film it and take the perfect picture (and we can't tuck in until they've done so!). I feel like I just want an evening where I'm not worried about what to wear because I know it will be splashed all over Instagram, and I want to eat my meal without having to wait a couple of minutes so that photos can be taken. I'm a pretty casual person and just not that bothered about wearing the best/on trend outfit all the time, and I don't want to pose in front of a nice view every time we go out. I know they'll say it's for the memories, but I'm happy to make memories without looking back at pictures and videos all the time!

Just to clarify that these are absolutely lovely people and dear, long term friends. I love them to bits. I have no issue with them apart from this one thing!

AIBU to want an "Instagram free" evening with them soon? Are there any others out there that feel the same?

We had an agreement with our friends - the first person to get their phone out had to pay for drinks all evening. It quickly stopped it!

I've never been in a scenario where this happens. How old are you all? We are all in our 40s so maybe a generation thing? I have Instagram but wouldn't upload photos of a night out. I cant inagine anyone who isn't there or invited is going to be that interested!

Yes, how old are you? I don’t know any friends who do this, or anyone who’d tolerate it (mid 40s plus). It sounds insufferable.

We are in our early 30s. I do post on Instagram myself, but not to this excess. I'm not a posing type person and I'm not very body confident either at the moment, which doesn't really help matters!

I have been out once in the last few months. Was really looking forward to it. Apparently I spoiled the evening by eating my food whilst it was still hot. I didn't wait for the Insta Addicts to get their pictures of my meal. I just ate it.

I have told them that I think their behaviour was rude and selfish and that I won't be accepting or making any further invitations for a meal out. They have giggled and hissy fitted all over their SM. We are all in our 50s!

It's like people watching a gig through their phone. Making a memory, apparently. What happened to experiencing life with your own eyes?

Weird.

I've known people like this. I had one friend who would basically want to do a photoshoot each time we hang out, I'm talking 100+ pics. It became so tedious. I tend to distance myself from such people. I kind of feel sorry for people who feel the need to have social media documentation of nights out for the event to have any worth.

I would just be honest with them and ask if you can have at least one insta free evening every now and again.

YANBU but I suspect you're fighting a losing battle.

Nothing else for it but to photobomb every picture with a demented grin and double thumbs up.

God how superficial and irritating. They sound like they need to grow up. YANBU at all.

YANBU. I've had to point this out to some of my friends too. For a while, when making plans I had to specify that I wanted a night out that wasn't a photoshoot. People quickly caught on and now we all have an agreement that people ask permission before getting the phone cameras out, and then permission again needed before the photos are put online.

Dammit, I thought Instagram was giving away free food 😖 😂

YANBU. I'm in my 20's and even my friends who use Instagram don't go on like that on a night out/dinner. We do take some pictures but not for posting on SM, I like to print photos off and put them in a scrapbook or photo album. I'm talking maybe 2/3 photos the full night though and never of food etc.

If that's what they all enjoy doing though then I'm not sure there's much you can do other than put up with it or step away from the friendship group

Even worse is when you see children being posed for the perfect photo on days out. Just let them play ffs.

I think I would only go to an Instagram meal once, it would really annoy me. Fortunately none of my friends are like that, possibly because we're older.

This is why I don't have social media. If people want to contact me, they can call, text, or email. Or they can write a letter like we did in the old days. I'm in my 30s btw

That is extreme every time - especially if you are in your 30s

I’d organise the next do, say you are having a SM break ad suggest it’s insta free, then you can build from there

also get some other friends who don’t do this, so you at least get a break

YANBU I'm in my late 20's and wouldn't be ok with this on an evening out especially if they insisted I waited for them to get multiple photos per person. I use Instagram but mainly for a hobby and wouldn't be ok with my face being splashed all over there either.

TBH some people's inability to stay off their phone longer than 5 mins is extremely irritating. I also don't really do selfies, it's just not for me and I'd rather you didn't forced me to be in yours. I'd expect friends to be able to stay off social media during a meal.

I also think the memories thing is just an excuse most of the time. Who needs to remember every meal they ate out and who's going to be looking back at Instagram (which might not even exist) in 30 years time? I'd find a way to remove phones from the meals as suggested above, first to look pays or just be blunt as say you find it rude so would like phone free meals.

You need to get new friends, this lot sound beyond boring

There's definitely something compelling about it IMO, the urge to have an image and for it to be perfect.

I mean you're waiting "just a couple of minutes"... lol

I don't know about the age thing. I was away with some girlfriends recently - all in our mid fifties - and the food was photographed. In their defence, it was in Italy and the food was beautiful as was the location etc.

Don't play along. Just start eating your food when you're ready, not when they are.

Without wanting to generalise definitely agree it's a generational thing. If my friends take a photo of the food on a night out, it's so we can just look at the photo later on and lust over the food, or share the photo with OH's/family in person, as opposed to posting it onto social media. Mostly we're too busy eating/chatting to think about photographing the table though!

Think it's the same with other social events like clubbing. So if you're of the rave generation we used to only care about dancing, music, etc and didn't care that we would end up looking a sweaty, frightful mess, and it seems folk just look so beautiful and perfect now on a night out, for Instagram purposes.

Exactly this!

Why put up with them dictating when food can be eaten?

I have no patience for people like these and would have no hesitation in telling them what I thought. They can like it or lump it.

It would be no loss if they were unhappy being challenged - they're already prioritising their wishes over yours, don't forget.

I do love taking photos and love to have them to look back on.

I might take one nice photo of everyone together on a night out or whatever we are doing, but other than that my phone stays away. I don't update SM while I'm out I would probably upload in sometime in the next few days.

It's not an age thing. I'm in my 20s and would be furious if someone started messing around with my plate and stopped me from starting my meal.

I don't mind a group photo. That's about it.

How old are they op?