To feel frustrated, used and tired by this situation.

[sabaidii]

I work in SE Asia, so to start with, life is very different from westernised countries.

For a long time now, I've been trying to help the people who really need it. I find though, that no matter how hard I try, I can't get anywhere.

I agreed to help a school in one of these countries. Part of the agreement was that I would pay for some renovations. I agreed to pay for them to renovate the oldest building, which is falling apart. They agreed to everything........ I will add here that the teachers of this school, all locals, are hostile toward me. I was robbed by one of them and they do their best to make me feel unwelcome. When I suggest bringing a volunteer to help them, I'm told they don't any. The teachers don't do anything to help the children though and are very lazy. Instead of teaching, they sit in a room and chat with each other. The country in particular already has a lot of problems and the children there aren't receiving the help the need.

Anyway, back to the construction, they started construction ON THE NEW BUILDING!!!!! No one told me anything beforehand and when I confronted them, I was told that someone else was paying. After more questioning from me, I was told by one of the teachers (who is also translates everything between head of school and I) "well, he has the right to do what he wants." I said that it was money that I had collected and therefore he had no right whatsoever to do this. I then went to confront him and he said that someone else had agreed to pay $500,000 dollars to redo the od building (complete lie, we're in Asia). I have contacted a lawyer, but I have to be very careful because he could easily go to the government and block my visa. There is a lot of corruption in Asia. I don't think the lawyer will be able to help much, I agreed verbally as I he told me that "we could find the construction company together later."

With this particular construction company, I'm paying enough to build a small hotel with another. I'm so upset and feel so used. It took ages to gather the money necessary for this project.

I really don't understand some things out here, even after living in these countries for a few years, some things just don't make sense.

The head of the school, btw, takes trips every week to other cities, by private car! I found out a 3 day trip in private car costs about $400 dollars. I want to help the children, not him.

I have been trying to think of ways to inform the community about some issues that are not being brought to anyone's attention. I can't do anything public without permission , I wanted to rent a space and put up an exhibit. I'm not allowed. I have been trying to take pictures of the school, however the head of the school won't allow me to take pictures of what I really need. ITS SO FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!

There is so much need in these countries and when I try to help, I feel helpless iykwim. I'm trying to help Sabaidii privately, so far its ok. She has 9 kids, do you think anyone's bothered to help her and her family? Of course not.

I haven't got any advice really - it's all so far away from my own experience. However, it does sound like you're banging your head against a wall with these people, and they don't actually want help from you for whatever reason.

no advice, just lots of sympathy, you sound like somebody who will not give up and will help them no matter what obstacles are put in your way. Good luck.

Are you working as part of a charitable organisation or are you doing this by yourself?. If you're working on your own you won't get anywhere, its akin to bailing out the sea.

I would have to agree with foofi. For whatever reasons, the most likely ones being you are perceived to be some pushy but also naive western woman rocking their cushy corruption boat, they just don't want your help. You are a threat to their cushy life of corruption and you can't speak the language (another barrier). Also you're up against officials who are corrupt and a system generally where corruption is commonplace and women are treated as second class citizens.

You're in Laos I think - have you talked with the Australian Embassy in Vietiane (sp) - they deal with British citizens as there is no UK consulate service in Laos. Are UNICEF also in Laos?.

Keep helping this friend of yours with her nine children (not surprised unfortunately to read that no-one in any official capacity wants to help them either).

I agree with Attila. The only way to get anything useful done is to do it with a large and established charity, or you'll just be banging your head against a wall of corruption. I'm afraid it's possibly a bit naive to think you can set up your own project and remain in charge.

Pull out and volunteer for UNICEF.

Agree with atilla & nine. It's taken them years to get to this state of corruption, you cant change anything in a short space of time. Help those who are easier to help.

Is there a way to do anything privately that wouldn't send the government after me? I have health problems and some organisations have turned me down when I asked if I could become a volunteer.

I have been to some schools set up by nuns. these schools are much better than the government schools and the children come first, not the money. I'm not sure it would be a good idea to work with them though. The head of the school where I am now stopped me from setting up my own school and doesn't cooperate much either with the other charities that are here. The kids in the school need a lot of help, they're just not getting it because of the director. I can speak the language enough to have a conversation and I've spoken to some of the older children. The teacher who speaks English has been telling me that they don't want to work in hotels or anything. They do. The English teacher just ignores them. She was employed because one of her relatives works there. She's 22 years old though and isn't interested in the kids at all.

I would like to start a hotel or restaurant, anything, to give some of these kids a job. Some other people are interested in the idea. I'm just not sure how to go about doing it. Or where to do it, for that matter.

It doesn't help that so many people in the community at large are so very ignorant. It's a job in itself just explaining everything to them. There are certain issues here that are just swept under the mat and ignored. Attila, where in Asia do you live?

ninedragons, I haven't been to China yet. I have a friend who started a project from scratch in Tibet, she had a very roough time with it. She's successful now though. Anyway, do you know what happens to people with HIV, sn, orphans when they get older?

I know not to take over, this is why i'm trying to find a way to help, but not do to much. Even some charities who have been in the area a long time find it difficult to work out here. You have to be very careful. Even with the documents you write, a friend of mine wrote "office" in her application and it was refused.

I have some thai friends who are reliable and would like to start a hotel to employ sn, orphans, etc. I am very interested in doing this, but how?

Ahhhhhhh, it's so easy in western countries isn't it?

There's a scheme in Vietnam that does similar to what you want to do. KOTO ('know one teach one') they take street kids and train them in their restaurant to be able to work throughout the hospitaility industry. From what I understand, it was set up by a couple of Australians. Maybe this would be a good model for you? I've not tried posting links before, but here goes KOTO

Thanks so much for the link. I'll look into this a bit more, sounds interesting.

I don't really have much of an idea exactly what happens with AIDS orphans or anyone else in the desperately poor rural areas, other than that Oxfam in particular does a lot of work out there.

Honestly, I think to look at Laos and China you are underestimating the power of communist bureacracy to sap your will to live.

If you try to go it alone, you will end up expending all of your energy and money fighting officials who are either corrupt or simply not interested in helping you.

I really think that as you don't speak the language and you don't know the culture, you are highly unlikely to get anywhere on your own. If a 22 year old who is not taking her teaching job seriously enough is sufficient to move you to post about your frustration on the internet, I honestly think you should re-examine your plans. This teacher is the most benign form of uselessness you will encounter.

Ninedragons, please could you email me. I can't post some things on here, my email is [email protected]

Pack suitcase, stop money going to corrupt school and go help someone else, you are on a hiding to nothing here i am afraid.

I'm sorry Saibaidii, I have a baby due in the next ten days and really don't have the time to email anyone about the vicissitudes of life in Asia.

I have covered what I think about the topic and can't add anything more helpful. If you have specific questions, I'll try to keep an eye on this thread.

Thanks anyway That's ok, just enjoy your new baby!

You have a very developed vocabulary, by the way. I had to look up the word vicissitude. It's quite a good word actually.

it is a shame that globetrotter isn't around as I seem to remeber her doing similar things. she might have been able to advise.

I am going to contact Oxfam tomorrow and see if I can do something with them. This place has taken a lot out of me and I'm not sure if I can stand it for much longer. I still wish to help individual families though. At least they'll get some help from someone.

That sounds great. I really think you'll achieve more through Oxfam than trying to work on your own.

There are a lot of great little charities in Laos and Cambodia that work with land mine victims to help them make a living from a trade (sewing etc), when they would otherwise be unfit for agricultural work and therefore in a pretty precarious financial position.