To ask for your stress management techniques?

[pattish]

I’m going through a lot of stress at the moment. It can’t really be helped and I’m not looking for solutions, but I am not dealing with it well.

In fact, I’ve realised that whenever I have difficult periods in my life - money worries, house moves, redundancy, relationship problems etc - I seem to fare worse than other people. I just cannot seem to control it. I sometimes think I will literally die from the stress.

If you’re someone who manages stress well, how do you do it?

I make lists. At the end of my working day I make a note of the things I need to do the next day - that way I can shut my laptop, close my office door (I wfh) and not think about it until I start work the next day. I have a whiteboard that I write all the things I need to remember for home on. And I keep some paper and a pen next to the bed so that if I wake up worrying about something I can write it down and tell myself I will deal with it in the morning. I have downsized my worry factor.... after many many years. I try to think of things in a way that is 'is this something that I can do anything about?' If it is then I try to find practical solutions. If it isn't then I file it under 'shitty stuff I can't do anything about' (figuratively - not literally!) and just suck it up. If and when I have the energy and time I might take it out of the file and look at it again, but otherwise it stays there locked away not being looked at, just being dealt with. I try to spend some time each day doing something that is just for me - that could be a walk or half an hour to read a book. And I now realise that I don't have to do everything myself, and that includes the mental load. I'm not talking about life admin (although it is good if you can share that) I'm talking about having somebody, or several somebodies, to talk to. Family, your partner, a counsellor, the Samaritans - somebody who will listen. And finally... I now realise that it's OK not to be perfect - it's fine just to do the best you can given the situation at the time.

I find walking helps me. And hot bubble baths. Are you on medication x

Relaxation time, and xercise, writing down negative thought/worries. Breathing technique- in for 4 hold 4 out 8. Emotional freedom technique. Meditation/mindfulness

I have a punchbag. Absolutely brilliant

This sounds totally counter-intuitive, but I recently discovered during a very stressful time, that watching particularly stressful and anxiety-inducing TV dramas really helped.

I think by being able to wallow in those hormones in that specific, safe way (I don't usually watch scary stuff) it was almost as if I was more mentally freed-up the rest of the time.

Or swimming helps to clear my head.

I also make lists, it helps so much.

I haven't always been able to manage stress well, and have totally broken my mental health before so this is all learnt behaviour.

I walk, every day, unless I run. It's absolutely crucial to have exercise, daylight and fresh air every single day. I would sooner work until 10pm then skip my lunch break.

I prioritise my physical health, as I've neglected that under work stress before. I always eat three meals a day, and they are almost always nutritious (at least 80% of the time). I always have water with me, in the car, on my desk, by my bed. I take a multivitamin.

I have a very clear split between work and home. Even when I was working from the kitchen table I put my laptop away, out of sight, out of work time.

Lists are crucial. I find it much more helpful to write them on paper than in my phone. It's so important to get things written down to avoid forgetting and panicking. I use notebooks rather than bits of paper so I don't lose it.

We have a household budget, which we revisit every month. It's connected to our bank accounts. It's an app called YNAB and it's amazing. Since we have used it we are better off, stopped arguing about money completely and we feel in control because we understand the consequences of every choice. Before we used to panic at the sight of an empty bank account.

There's a meme going around, I think it's from TOMM, which is all about 'be your future friend' and I am very into that. I make my bed as soon as I get up so I have a nice bed to get into at night. I tidy as I walk around. I love saving future me little jobs.

Like I said, this is all learnt behaviour. I used to feel like I was barely keeping my head above water, was always feeling panicky at work about what I'd missed, worried I'd get another letter about being in my unauthorised overdraft, was underweight from barely eating and was having hospital investigations for the physical symptoms it caused.