Neighbour making me uncomfortable

[LatersGators]

I wasn't sure where would be the best place to put this but I'm desperate for advice and I have debated posting many times

I share a house and the male neighbour next door makes me feel very uneasy. He has commented about watching me sunbathing (in shorts and a tshirt) from his window, if I'm in the garden he appears at the fence and wants to talk, quite often I have seen him staring at my window from his garden and he has been shouting up at me to talk.

He had a bad accident a few years ago which apparently has altered his judgment, so I do feel bad, but should I alter my life so I'm not made to feel uncomfortable?

I avoid using the garden if he is around. The summer is coming up and I want to enjoy my garden during my time off.

You have to be assertive or it will carry on.

Next time he mentions you sunbathing etc you tell him that makes you feel uncomfortable and you dont want to be watched.

If he calls at your window you ignore or tell him you dont want to talk.

Get some headphones and wear them in the garden, even if you dont have them on, face the other way so he cant get your attention.

And if he does get your attention you tell him "I'm relaxing by myself , I cant talk now, have a nice day"

Do it every time.

Thank you. I have tried headphones and ignoring but although it might eventually stop him talking, it doesn't stop him staring. I'm feeling troubled about how much I should alter my life and behavior when he is the one making me uncomfortable

But I agree that I do need to be more assertive, I have dithered due to the fact his behaviour changed after an accident. That doesn't excuse it I suppose

You shouldn’t have to adjust a thing but if you find that being blunt doesn’t work, I’d consider trying to put up some sort of parasol or lightweight canopy you can sit under that totally prevents him from looking down at you. Earphones in and totally ignore every single attempted shout to get your attention when you are in your garden. Absolutely unacceptable that you should have to, but as it’s not criminal behaviour it’s probably going to continue unless you are really forceful and tell him you are sick and tired of him watching you because it’s creepy and uncomfortable.

@FlippityFlapperty thank you for the advice, it's really helpful and I will look into parasols as he is a tall guy and doesn't seem to have any hesitation to lean on the fence and want to chat.

Another thing that worries me, and I'm sure that I'm being paranoid, is that he did some electrical work on this house and another neighbour made a 'joke' about checking for cameras as he might be spying on us

Agree with pp, and be direct with him, tell him to stop watching you as it is intrusive and makes you very uncomfortable. If he persists, report him to police for harassment.

The other neighbour is probably just joking but it’s a worry that he has such a reputation for spying / nosying. You can buy a hidden camera detector for about £30 which might put your mind at ease Spy Hidden Camera Detector, Bug Detector, GPS Detector, RF Signal Scanner Device for Hidden Camera Laser Lens GSM Device Finder Listening Device Camera Finder www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08Y5MTT2Y/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_BTD83AFXKD6P9VWGFA4H?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1 here .

Get the parasol / canopy and angle it so you sit facing away from his side of the fence and are covered from behind and above. One of those big tiltable parasols on a stand will do the job and will be perfectly normal to put in your garden so he will have absolutely no chance to protest about it obscuring his view etc etc. Then you won’t have to look at him or speak to him or be spied on when you fancy some fresh air.

@FlippityFlapperty I think the other neighbour was joking but it made me uneasy why she would even joke about it. I'm going to look into getting a parasol but I'm also annoyed that I even have to. I should be able to enjoy my house and garden without unwelcome comments and intrusions