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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what this thing is that happens to me every night?

46 replies

strandedabroad · 27/05/2022 21:17

Every night I go to sleep and I wake up suddenly 20-30 minutes after. I am usually very drowsy and convinced that something terrible has happened. I never quite know what but I’m filled with terror for a few seconds - things feel different around me, I can sense tragedy and doom.

Then I seem to snap out of it and go back to sleep. I usually sleep ok at that point - although I’m a very light sleeper, I usually need the toilet at least once and I hear every single noise the children make.

Has anyone else experienced this? It’s not really a recurring dream, I don’t think. It doesn’t seem to matter if I read/watch a series/go to bed early or late. I’ve got a busy life but I’m not hugely stressed. A job, a few kids, a house renovation. There isn’t anything that bothers me a lot in the daytime. So why this? I don’t drink other than the occasional one, don’t smoke, I’m relatively fit and healthy. This has been happening on and off for years but it’s every single night since I’ve had kids.

English isn’t my first language, apologies if any bits aren’t clear.

OP posts:
Original poster
strandedabroad · 27/05/2022 22:29

isthisreallyweird · 27/05/2022 22:23

Is it similar to when you’re drifting off to sleep and wake up with a jerk because you think you’re falling?
(I’m assuming other people get that too?!)

Kind of, I suppose!

OP posts:
Original poster
strandedabroad · 27/05/2022 22:30

Butchyrestingface · 27/05/2022 22:26

Can you move when this is happening? What is your sleeping position - back/side/front?

Like others have suggested, sounds like it could be sleep paralysis. I had chronic SP from age 12 through to around 25, until I discovered my trigger (sleeping on my back). So long as I don't sleep on my back, I can almost guarantee it won't happen.

Yes I can move. I tend to sleep on my back or side. Used to love sleeping on my front but stopped during my first pregnancy and never started again.

OP posts:
User12398712 · 27/05/2022 22:31

isthisreallyweird · 27/05/2022 22:23

Is it similar to when you’re drifting off to sleep and wake up with a jerk because you think you’re falling?
(I’m assuming other people get that too?!)

It's not dissimilar but more like waking with a jerk because you suddenly feel like there's a serial killer standing over you with a bloody axe and you are absolutely terrified.

Original poster
strandedabroad · 27/05/2022 22:32

larkstar · 27/05/2022 22:16

Do you snore? Do you suffer from tiredness in the morning because you feel you've not had a good night's sleep? Has anyone suggested sleep apnoea? A partner you sleep with would probably notice something - like when you sometimes stop breathing for quite a long period of time.

I think I snore a bit. But I'm confused as to why this would happen early in the evening and not again for the rest of the night? DH sleeps like a log, I don't think he'd notice if I screamed/stopped breathing/died.

OP posts:
Penguintears · 27/05/2022 22:38

I get this sometimes and I also don't know where I am and it takes me a while to figure it out. I have a TV in my bedroom and it has a tiny red light on it. I often wake up and can't figure out why there is a red light there, even though its there all the time and I've lived in my house for 10 years! I think it's stress/anxiety. Like your brain doesn't want to let your body relax so as soon as you fall asleep if wakes you up. That's what it feels like yo me anyway.

Therealpink · 27/05/2022 22:47

I know a few of the things people are talking about and they are all different to what you’re describing OP. I have this thing where similarly after about 30min I am suddenly aware that some weird combination of something has happened (I have vague recollection that it’s something to do with the skirting boards in my bedroom - I’m actually embarrassed typing that) and I am absolutely certain it means my time has come. So a sense of death and doom. I wonder is that what you’re talking about?

it’s quite different to the falling one and also the confusion about where you are one that I’ve had my whole life. This one started only in the last couple of years, and I am 40 too.

Therealpink · 27/05/2022 22:47

Sorry, not all different! Some are different I meant!!

swedex · 27/05/2022 22:48

Mablefly · 27/05/2022 22:29

I get this too (exactly as @StolenCookie describes). I have had it for years and it tends to pop up during periods of stress. Strangely i very rarely get it in bed, only when I am lightly asleep on the sofa.

Another fun stress related thing I get is kind of waking dreams when I see scary things in the room (usually snakes or spiders) and for a few seconds I’m half awake and 100% convinced they are there and trying to convince my husband too. That’s quite rare too thankfully or none of us would get any sleep!

Sometimes stress is subconscious and your body knows about it before ‘you’ do. X

I've had both where I feel like I'm falling and also convinced someone is in the room or watching behind the door. I still perfectly remember one night probably 8 years ago I woke up and was absolutely convinced someone was standing outside the bedroom door watching me. I couldn't move for ages and then it started to dawn on me that they hadn't moved for ages but I still woke my husband up
It was really scary!

isthisreallyweird · 27/05/2022 22:56

you’ve jogged my memory that I’ve also been having something recently -waking after 30 minutes or so thinking that I have forgotten to put my retainer in and how could I be so stupid! I haven’t worn it for over 20 years and have only had this happen in the last 6 months or so! Very weird.

NotMushroomInEre · 27/05/2022 22:57

I can understand why people might be suggesting sleep paralysis, but I don't think your symptoms suggest it. I've had sleep paralysis for decades. I've had it both falling asleep and waking up from sleep. I'm almost guaranteed to get it if I sleep on my back, but I also get it intermittently if I sleep on my side. It used to be horrendous, I even stayed awake for 2 nights once because I was scared - I honestly thought it was a malevolent spirit. I think I can recall every episode until I started to just go with it. I went to the drs, I researched it and then I let myself go with it. Sounds mad, but I kind of enjoy it when it happens now.

NotMushroomInEre · 27/05/2022 23:06

*Sorry, you said you can move. That is why I said I didn't think your symptoms suggested sleep paralysis. You are aware of your surroundings, auditory for me and I also hallucinate, but I am not able to move at all.

NiceMcNicey · 27/05/2022 23:19

I've had sleep paralysis since I was a teenager on and off and it sounds much like you describe. It's usually bang on 20 minutes after I've nodded off, and it's a horrible feeling, it makes my heart tace sometimes or that's how it feels. I have to sleep on my side to stop it happening, and sometimes its stress related sometimes it just happens. Worth looking sleep paralysis up as it is a real physical thing, and knowing what it is can help. Wishing you luck and good sleep :)

Original poster
strandedabroad · 27/05/2022 23:21

Therealpink · 27/05/2022 22:47

I know a few of the things people are talking about and they are all different to what you’re describing OP. I have this thing where similarly after about 30min I am suddenly aware that some weird combination of something has happened (I have vague recollection that it’s something to do with the skirting boards in my bedroom - I’m actually embarrassed typing that) and I am absolutely certain it means my time has come. So a sense of death and doom. I wonder is that what you’re talking about?

it’s quite different to the falling one and also the confusion about where you are one that I’ve had my whole life. This one started only in the last couple of years, and I am 40 too.

Very very interesting.

Completely agree with the 'combination of something' feeling - when I wake, my mind goes through so many things to then realise that I can't escape and this is finally it.

It escalated - when I was younger I'd wake in a panic thinking I'd forgotten to take the pill. Then for years even though I wasn't on the pill I'd wake convinced something else I'd forgotten meant imminent catastrophe.

I wish I could go to bed and relax!!

OP posts:
Original poster
strandedabroad · 27/05/2022 23:22

isthisreallyweird · 27/05/2022 22:56

you’ve jogged my memory that I’ve also been having something recently -waking after 30 minutes or so thinking that I have forgotten to put my retainer in and how could I be so stupid! I haven’t worn it for over 20 years and have only had this happen in the last 6 months or so! Very weird.

Read my last comment about forgetting the pill when I haven't been on the pill for 10 years! 😱

OP posts:
DixonD · 27/05/2022 23:25

No advice for you but just wanted to agree with some of the others; your written English is perfect.

DorritLittle · 27/05/2022 23:28

I used to regularly wake up with a bolt terrified that there was a wasp or swarm of. More recently, that I am choking. About 30 mins after going to sleep.

The doom thing I haven't had but I did recently spend two hours awake before I had even gone to sleep, thinking there was an intruder in my garden.

WalkerWalking · 27/05/2022 23:48

I'm just here to say that your English is the best I've ever seen on this site 🤷‍♀️

Summerfun54321 · 28/05/2022 00:04

it’s every single night since I’ve had kids.

I blame the kids then.

Katya213 · 28/05/2022 00:04

I get this, fall asleep and after about 30 minutes, I wake up feeling like I’m dying, heart racing etc!

Original poster
strandedabroad · 28/05/2022 00:08

Summerfun54321 · 28/05/2022 00:04

it’s every single night since I’ve had kids.

I blame the kids then.

Me too, for this and just about everything else Wink

OP posts:
Weirdwonders · 28/05/2022 07:00

Funnily enough this happened to me last night and I thought I might be a bit dehydrated but I guess that’s not it for you if it’s every night.

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