To think both friends are to blame for losing touch?

[janeseymour78]

I'm curious what people think about this as I'm torn.

I met a friend, B, through my best friend, M, eight years ago. M and B were very close friends at that time (I'm due to be M's maid of honor, but it likely would've been B if the two of them had stayed close).

Over the years, B and I became close friends as we lived in Italy, near each other, while M lived in the UK. I now live back in UK closer to M.

Essentially, M and B have lost touch because neither of them are on the same social media platforms. As B now lives in a far away country, we keep in touch mainly by WhatsApp and Instagram where she runs much of her art business. M, despite being younger than me, seemingly lives in the dark ages and has a Nokia and no smart phone. We talk via text/phone and Facebook, which B deleted long ago.

This means that whenever B visits, I have to coordinate the whole thing because they can't communicate. I find it absolutely ludicrous and think that for the 1 or 2 times a year that we're together, one of them should suck it up and get on social media.

YABU - it's up to them if they lose touch
YANBU - they should make an effort

Also now B has been in touch with me about making summer plans together and when I mentioned it to M, she looked annoyed. Didn't ask after her or anything - but I do feel that they've done it to themselves and it's sad as they were so close.

Whenever B comes for a visit, M comes too, but she always comes having had no clue what has happened in her life for many months.

Surely m and b can text one another?

Why can't they ring each other? They don't need social media YABU.

@MadameDragon no - B lives in a different continent. B uses WhatsApp to communicate with everyone as do I since living abroad.

To make matters worse, M's phone stopped working for months and she didn't tell us. Last weekend I actually saw red - I was running slightly late and called to let her know. Turned out she didnt take her phone with her - sometimes I feel like telling her to get a grip and live in the current century!

I understand that most people don’t send many actual sms messages these days but anyone with a mobile phone could send and receive them even to a different continent , surely?

@MadameDragon isn't it extremely expensive? I think it's unlikely I could text someone in America without incurring a cost?

To be honest though, I think it comes down to then both being stubborn. By choosing not to be on at least one shared platform/to communicate, the friendship is slowly slipping away. I've kept my opinion to myself but I genuinely think if they care about the friendship one person at least should suck it up.

Your post comes across more that you’re miffed that your group of three has disintegrated, rather than being bothered about those two not being such good mates. After all, why would it really bother you anyway? Can’t you just have separate friendships with them? Maybe they don’t like each other all that much.