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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How old would you assume the child who wrote this was?

188 replies

AloyNoraWarrior · 27/05/2022 11:11

My DS is 9 in Y4. He’s very upset as he said some children in his class have been laughing at his writing. I know he is behind because his school report last term said working towards expectations for every subject. But I’m thinking it must be bad if other children are noticing.

He does have ASD and we are waiting for an ADHD assessment. Last year I asked his teacher if could be assessed for dyslexia because he writes his name incorrectly, but they said they don’t assess children for dyslexia anymore.

I was just wondering how his writing compares to other children his age as I’m not sure what level it should be at. The photo represents his best effort. The second line of the poem is ‘when I am a pest’

How old would you assume the child who wrote this was?
OP posts:
JustFrustrated · 27/05/2022 11:34

It's a lovely poem.

They DO asses for dyslexia. And discalculiA. My 9 year old has just had the tests!

So push back. But! At that age, it's largely inconclusive, so they redo the tests again anyway.

Notodaynotever · 27/05/2022 11:35

I also think his writing might dramatically improve if he was able to try cursive. Letter join is a great online programme or you can just practice with a white board.

SainteCroissante · 27/05/2022 11:37

You should frame this poem and treasure it forever! (Who's cutting the onions here?!)

I think if you have a hunch he might be struggling with dyslexia trust yourself, and do what you can to get him assessed, or even if you can't get a formal assessment, try some of the methods commonly recommended for people with dyslexia - a previous poster outlined some, and I am sure you can find more on the internet - and see if they help him!

(And I hope the bullying stops, and that you can get the school involved if it does not.)

PatchworkElmer · 27/05/2022 11:37

Oh what a lovely poem!

You have my sympathy. I had my (usually very stoic) 5 year old in floods of tears yesterday after school because 2 boys laughed at their writing. Kids can be absolute pricks.

Princetopple · 27/05/2022 11:38

Awww, it's adorable. I'm not sure whether you were asking about the content or the spelling or the handwriting, but I'll say that it is roughly around the level of handwriting that my eldest son had at that age (or perhaps slightly better). And to be honest, it isn't much better now that he's 14. He can't write quickly AND neatly (and just neatly at all is a struggle tbh) and the OT said he has weakened hand muscles. Apparently another symptom of ADD, which CAMHS said he had many symptoms of, but then refused to give him a diagnosis. Because of that lack of diagnosis, the school are reluctant to give him a laptop or allow him extra time in exams. It's a situation I'm currently dealing with, so learn from my experience and push and push to get him all the help he needs.

Princetopple · 27/05/2022 11:38

Oh, and no other children ever commented on my son's handwriting as far as I'm aware. It should be dealt with separately and considered some form of bullying. It's completely unacceptable.

Notagain76 · 27/05/2022 11:41

Can you not look up privately for dyslexia testing, not sure if you get dla but sometimes they offer a discount. My lad is unique and has dyspraxia as one of his uniqueness tested and diagnosed on nhs, so I don't think its fair dyslexia isn't

MassiveSalad22 · 27/05/2022 11:41

Oh what a beautiful poem, I live for the day my kids will do that! He sounds like an utter treasure.

My DS is finishing yr 2 and writing much worse than your DS’s so I’d imagine your DS’s writing is within the realms of typical.

RedPlumbob · 27/05/2022 11:43

Mine looked like that up until I was 12, and it honestly isn’t much better now. However I was diagnosed with multiple SpLDs, ADHD and ASD whilst at Uni in my 30s - it’s worth having him checked for the full range.

www.enablespldassessment.co.uk/specific-learning-difficulties

RedPlumbob · 27/05/2022 11:44

My local private Ed Psych charges £400 for a comprehensive assessment, I’m in the Midlands and thought it was really cheap - I was expecting around 1K. It’s worth having a look.

Boymumsoymum · 27/05/2022 11:45

Its a lovely poem OP and to be treasured for its sentiments. I think some previous posters are overlooking a couple of issues such as the 'ing' end of a word misspelled, and a back to front 'p' in upset, which suggest there might be some underlying issues. But this is just Mumsnet not an education forum and the best person to talk to is his teacher for an honest assessment of his situation. I'm not sure it's helpful to guess an age a child might be when writing this as so much depends on how much support they had - a very able much younger child could manage this with lots of support but if it was written completely independently then that's very different.
I think the key thing is what do his school think, and how do you feel about it OP, do you feel he needs more intervention than school are giving? I would definitely raise the comments other kids have made with the teacher as that should not be happening.

Original poster
AloyNoraWarrior · 27/05/2022 11:45

I can afford a private assessment. Maybe I should do that? I think it would help his self-esteem to know there is a reason he struggles. I wonder why they told me they don’t assess anymore?

School do have a strong emphasis on cursive handwriting. When he does cursive it’s completely illegible. The printing takes a long time and then he gets in trouble for being too slow. He said he can’t win because if he writes quickly the teacher can’t mark it because no one can read it but if he prints he’s too slow.

OP posts:
BobLep0nge · 27/05/2022 11:46

To me it looks as though it's taken a lot of effort for him physically write the letters. Is he able to tie shoe laces/do up buttons, bead a thread etc?

chocolatemademefat · 27/05/2022 11:46

It’s lovely. I’d be keeping it forever. And he’s trying which is a good thing.

orwellwasright · 27/05/2022 11:47

Notodaynotever · 27/05/2022 11:35

I also think his writing might dramatically improve if he was able to try cursive. Letter join is a great online programme or you can just practice with a white board.

He's in y4. He'll be being taught cursive at school.

ItchyKondera · 27/05/2022 11:48

I have a 9 year old in year 4 with ADHD and Dyspraxia. Your sons writing is much better that my sons!!
He finds using a keyboard much easier and school provide him with a laptop for longer pieces of work - may be worth a try if he finds writing hard?

JayAlfredPrufrock · 27/05/2022 11:49

I’d have that framed and on the wall.

Original poster
AloyNoraWarrior · 27/05/2022 11:51

It did take him a lot of effort which is another thing I was upset with school about as they wrote on his report that his effort requires improvement. They don’t seem to understand that just sitting at his table in the classroom is effort.

OP posts:
Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 27/05/2022 11:51

My son is just turned 8 and writes similarly, possibly a little clearer.

you say he has ‘working towards’ in all his areas in his school report? If so I’d expect the school to be working with you a bit closer to sort out support for him.

as others have said though….what a beautiful poem. He clearly excels in other areas.

Notodaynotever · 27/05/2022 11:52

Yes I understand about cursive. It will set him back for a brief spell but could well be much better after that. I was imagining you and he working on letter joins together. He sounds like the most lovely child.

PinkArt · 27/05/2022 11:52

Oh gosh, your boy is me 30 years ago. It was crushing to have every piece of work returned with the comment 'handwriting needs work'. I was at the end of primary before anyone told me that the content of my writing was actually really good - I had no clue all that time because the comment was always on the handwriting.
If you can push for a dyslexia test, please do. I think it would help him to know what the root of the problem is, assuming that it is dyslexia.
And please don't get him to do those bastard handwriting books. Endless school holidays spent writing ccccccccc and ffffffffffff didn't do anything to help but did make me hate writing a little more with each page.
And to practice what I preach, that poem is so delightful! His words are gorgeous. Get that beauty on the wall and give him a big hug!

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 27/05/2022 11:53

Looks a lot like my 9 year olds writing. He is above age related expectations and ASD. He’s also left handed and has a family history of scruffy penmanship..mine is terrible as is his uncles and grandfathers.

Juniper68 · 27/05/2022 11:54

Is there a different school available? Not liking the sound of his. Or home ed?

SirenSays · 27/05/2022 11:54

The poem is beautiful. I have dyslexia and dyspraxia and I still feel self conscious over my handwriting. Please get him assessed sooner rather than later as I didn't get diagnosed until college and missed out on so much support.

He said he can’t win because if he writes quickly the teacher can’t mark it because no one can read it but if he prints he’s too slow.
I have this exact same problem.
I actually find handwriting incredibly painful and would really struggle to write on unlined paper. He's done well 👏

gingaling · 27/05/2022 11:54

Is he right or left handed ? Definitely ask for the school to do a Ed Psych assessment. I've heard them say they can arrange that but not dyslexia screening.

I wonder if my DS needs dyslexia screening. Slightly scared but people saying it's expensive 😬