breastfeeding is ruining my relationship with my daughter

[2023wish]

dd is 14 months old. i didn’t intend to breastfeed this long, my initial goal was 6 months but there was just no reason to stop - she was happy, i was happy, etc etc.

now i’m 6 weeks pregnant and it is agony every single time. there’s also nights (like last night where she was on from 5am-9am) where she will latch on for hours and cry if i try to take her off so i get barely any sleep (i do cosleep so i shut my eyes and try to sleep but it’s not the same).

i am also feeling quite sad about the fact that i can’t just have a nice relationship with her the way she does with her dad. everytime she hugs me i then get a hand down my top, etc etc. i just want it to end and i don’t know how. this morning i tried refusing feeds twice and she was screaming crying hysterically so much that i felt i had no choice but to give in

Usually only when exclusively breastfeeding or doing it very frequently (like a newborn might)

Does your DD not have her own room? Where are you planning both DC sleep when older?

That was the mistake, giving in. Offer milk or water instead, in a cup

how is it going with her being in her own room? that’s what i’m thinking of doing too but we don’t really have the space as spare room is currently an office so don’t know whether it’s worth trying

Why doesn't she have her own room @2023wish ? What's the plan when the new baby arrives?

I would prioritise giving her her own bedroom and her own space, and then she can sleep in there and DH can sort the night wakings until she's fully weaned.

I think you'll struggle to get much sleep if she's sleeping in your room (does she have her own bed?) and is used to feeding throughout the night.

My friend is still bf her 2 1/2 yr old and has just had second baby. She’s never had an evening out since 1st was born because whenever she starts getting ready to go out he screams for milk and then feeds from her for hours. Now, he also screams for milk whenever she goes near the baby so she’s stuck tandem cluster feeding a toddler and a newborn at the same time.

What worked for me when I stopped breastfeeding was daddy doing all the night waking for two weeks. It was heaven!

Your milk will change taste, for me it was around 16 weeks onwards so my would usually self wean at his point, the ones who managed to soldier though the change of taste I discouraged by putting lemon juice on my boobs before bed

Urggh remember my very tenacious 16 month old asking from 7am until midnight for boobie for two days in a row. Screaming and begging. Mind she is still bloody minded at 12. Just asked her to do the dishwasher 15 times before she did it.

I stopped when I was pregnant as I found it so uncomfortable and painful. You're not alone. I found the book "booby moon" really useful and read it with mine a few weeks before stopping and it was actually much easier than I thought to stop.