Work colleague issue

[Allinadayswork80]

Need your advice on this - it may well be to put my big girl pants on and just confront the issue or just up and leave as life is too short to deal with this shit.

I seem to have an issue with another lady at work, well, more she’s got an issue with me. I thought we were friends, we work well together and share the same approach to work. I’ve been there longest and am more experienced in this line of work but she has come along and picked the job up really quickly and really well - something I’ve complimented her on. I went on maternity leave during covid and the team had a really tough time but coped really well - again, something I’ve mentioned. She was all encouraging of me returning to work, said they really needed me, can’t wait for me to return etc. However, since I have (6 months) she seems to have taken against me and I’ve no idea why. I’ve always got on well with my colleagues, in all my jobs and never ever had any fall outs or issues. I’m supportive and helpful, especially to less experienced colleagues that need a bit of a hand. She has taken offence to a couple of really silly inoffensive things I’ve said, when absolutely no offence was intended (others have agreed this). She’s now gone so far as to make something up about me to a mutual friend and has actually said “I don’t think ……. likes me, it’s a power struggle”. I don’t know where it’s coming from, I don’t really know what to do about to it. How can you approach this, when someone is so unreasonable and to even lie? I get on really well with all my other colleagues and love my job but she’s causing me to feel really uncomfortable, I’m watching everything I say just incase she takes some weird offence to it. I’m now considering leaving as I’ve got enough going on in my life to worry about petty work issues, but I really don’t want to and the benefits of my job are such that I couldn’t get them elsewhere. She’s also really ‘pallied up’ with our manager, due to a mutual hobby, which I fear will go against me if things deteriorate, despite always having a good relationship with said manager. She said to another colleague about why she’s being so friendly “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”.

It’s such schoolgirl stuff and quite ridiculous, I haven’t experienced this before and I’m not sure exactly how to proceed. I’m tempted to just confront her and ask what her problem is with me? If it’s something I’m unaware that I’m doing to offend her maybe. But how come no one else has ever found this? And I worry this will just cause more friction. Another friend at work has said she thinks this person wants to be ‘top dog’ and doesn’t like that I’m more experienced and know the job better, but I can’t do anything about that!

Sorry for the long ramble. How should I approach this?

There are one of these in every office.

I'd call her out on it. Easier said than done I know.

I'm in a similar position, great team before lockdown really supportive of each other, trustable etc.

Colleague was furloughed for almost the entire 18 months because she was CV, her decision, she asked to be.
I continued working, doing extra (unpaid) hours to cover.

We kept up during lockdown, chatting and still, as far as I knew, getting on well.

She came back and is a totally different person. She varies between snapping at people and being (as someone else called it) "sickly-sweet". She lies, blames others, does as little work as possible while ordering others around (one chap said to me she snaps her fingers at him and points saying "do that") and at times tips into bullying with her behaviour. We've also had issues with her trying to sabotage things other people are doing or take credit for them and do things that aren't her business and her getting involved is unhelpful to say the least. I've had to smooth over several clients when she has given them false information or been rude to them when they've said they'd prefer to speak to me.

I think she thought I would go over lockdown because I did get quite depressed, and she would get my job. She wouldn't anyway because she couldn't do it for various reasons, and I think she would know that if challenged. I think also adding into that was that she thought she would come back to shouts of "glory! she's back!" but got more of "Cara's been doing a fantastic job", which probably rankled. I do get that, but any sympathy I might have had has gone.

I'm dealing with it by being quietly getting on with it and doing what I know to be right. If she asks anything (which she only speaks to me if she has to) I answer directly and professionally. And I've decided the most irritating thing I can do is continue working. Drives her crazy that I'm still there, I can tell!
At some point she's really going to overstep the mark and get caught, and will probably flounce quite quickly after that. I know she's been pulled up a couple of times because people have complained formally.

Oh wow, she sounds like a real treasure! Makes my situation pale into insignificance 😄
I think I’ll do as suggested, be nice and super professional only around her/ to her. Good luck with your office demon! x

@Allinadayswork80 Thanks. I'm still slightly reeling from her change in character. I think she's aware how she is behaving as she's all sweetness round people that are higher up.
What's stands out to me is all these behaviours were displayed by another colleague before lockdown-I didn't really deal with him, but she did, and she took a dislike to him on sight and spent a long time moaning about him until he was asked to leave. She's then seems to be using him as a blueprint on how to behave-and is friends with him on fb etc suddenly. I had actually wondered if she had a change of medication or something medical early on as it was such a dramatic switch. All was fine in July, didn't really see her in August, and September she came back like this. Unfortunately that meant I covered for her a bit over the first few months and smoothed things over when I probably shouldn't have.

A high up colleague who backs her whatever (he also backed the one who was asked to leave) is also moving on shortly, so it will be interesting to see how she behaves once he's gone. I have a strong suspicion she might take "sick leave due to stress".

Hope your office demon finds a new job far away!