To have such expectations from myself (mums)

[Imsotired10]

Currently on maternity leave with our 3rd DC.

DC1 - 5yo
DC2 - 3yo
DC3 - 4 mo
I'm just wondering how do some mums get it all done in a day?
How do you manage to be present for your DC, be involved etc but still manage to do laundry/ clean the whole house/ shopping/ dinners / make yourself look presentable/ have more than a 1 min shower etc etc

How? I feel like I'm missing something as every day some of the above get missed. Usually anything to do with myself
How do some mums do it? I have friends who always look put together & are great mums & their houses are always spot on / hot dinners etc

For example today it took me more than an hour to fold all our laundry and put it away. By the time I was done someone needed a snack the other needed me to read with them etc. By the time I was done reading I realised it's time for tea. DH is great once he finishes work but he finishes at 6pm which is bath time in our house and IMO the easiest time of the day 😂

Any tips ?

I have a 4 yo and 4 month old.
My DH does all the chores (laundry, clearing up kitchen etc) because it's difficult to do with baby. He spends his evenings doing this whilst I breastfeed and do baby's bed.
I do the cooking (only because I want to)
Supermarket delivery for food.
We have a fortnightly cleaner, otherwise the house would go to shit! They vacuum throughout, wipe surfaces and clean kitchen and bathrooms

I had two of my own plus resident teenage stepsons. Big house and husband who left at 7.30am returned at 8pm.
My husband was very tidy. He did not create any mess. Laundry yes, but he put it in the basket. My stepsons were responsible for their own washing. Not the tidiest but not bad.
Toddlers and young kids leave a trail of destruction wherever they go! We did have a large family room/ kitchen diner so mostly their mess remained in there.
But most of all I had a cleaner once a week. She did the grunt work of floors and bathrooms. She also ironed all the shirts. That kept things from falling to utter chaos (as I had to tidy before she arrived)!
And I lowered my standards a bit. Not particularly tidy myself, I didn't mind if not all the toys were neatly put away etc. and you'd be amazed at how done families can be well turned out on public but have messy homes.

I don't know what it's like with 3, I struggle with all that with just with a 1 y.o. I think give yourself a break you're still only 4m post partum.

However, I've found some things to help me get ahead. Recently decided that laundry would be an evening thing. I was sick of my baby watching me so loads of chores and me not being able to play much with him. DH does that too.

Also, that (and the cleaning) is certainly something your DH can take over. Look at the /Fair Play Method and TOMM . Online shopping is one to look at too, you can have standard items (like fruit etc) on a reoccurring list etc. I've also started prebooking activities for me (yoga, fitness classes etc), so that I'm forced to get out the house (or else I lose the money/class), so my life doesn't revolve around housework and babies!

Anyway, as I said, I only have 1, so really can't imagine dealing with 3 - so in my eyes, you're a hero!

So, give yourself a break, have a nice warm bath, relax and get your DH on that laundry mountain!!

I only have one baby and I've struggled to keep on top of things. Mainly as she's not a great sleeper so any free time I get I try to sleep or I'd be a zombie which a lot of the time I am anyway!

I honestly don't know how single parents manage with lots of children. I've only got into a routine where I'm on top of the cleaning but she's 6 months old and her room isn't finished and it's filled high with laundry, it would take me a full day to go through it and in 6 months I haven't found the time 😳. So I'll be interested to get some tips aswell!

I think those women that have it all together either hace help or are just not spending time with their kids.

Thank you all for your replies. Some great tips. I'll be looking into getting a cleaner once a week. Would be such massive help to have someone hoover and maybe do the bathrooms. & also will start online shopping for food.

My DH is normally the one dealing with the kitchen in the evening as it's normally a mess and it takes forever.
I wish my house would stay clean 🥴